So the past month of so has been incredibly tough. A few days after Thanksgiving, my parents stopped by at like 7 at night on a weeknight. That literally has never happened...ever. And my husband was home early that day. He is a music teacher like me but he always stays at work until about 8 or 9 at night. Busy bee.

Anyway - I knew something was wrong. I thought, perhaps, my 92 year old Grandma had passed. I wouldn't be surprised in that case. But my parents told me the police had been to their house and explained that my BROTHER had been found dead in the woods in Orlando.

My brother...who is 4 weeks older than me. (We are both adopted from different families). My brother...who was a creative, smart, intelligent child who grew up into the wrong crowd and got addicted to drugs. My brother...who we tried to help time and time again...his friends tried to get him help...his birth parents also tried to get him help. My brother...who didn't want help...who preferred to be high.

He had a habit of disappearing for months at a time. So when they told us he had been in the woods between 2-4 weeks before being found...that made sense...since the last any of my family had heard from him was the end of October.

He was a great person when he was sober. and I had always held my breath, my hope that he would become sober and meet the potential he always had. But he won't get that chance. He will never get that chance.

In addition, a former student of mine (I taught him 3 years)...last week he was hit and killed by a truck. He and his brother were playing in the street and he saved his brother and got hit. He passed away later that night.

I don't know what the universe plans. But...sometimes it's hard to believe in...ANYTHING...when you lose the people close to you and when you lose innocent children from this world.

It's going to be hard and painful for a while.