Nice job with the rhyming and rhythm and punctuation for the most part, however the 6th line on the 2nd stanza is worded really strangely and is hard to read through and doesn't make much sense. I had to re-read that one line several times, and the line after that doesn't make much sense with it either. "And still here; can you see," is a strange structure as well, it may best to reword that. Other than that it looks pretty good. :)