07.10.2015 :: Friday
Eight days left until his due date. Can I even begin to say how nervous I am about everything. It seems like just yesterday I found out I was even pregnant. - That was a scary day. So many emotions. I was a wreck. I can admit now, and I don't feel bad about it, I was really upset. I had all these hopes, dreams, ideas of how my life was going to go and within a matter of a couple of minutes - seemed like hours, my life had changed. I think I kind of knew in my heart about a week after Halloween (when he was conceived) that I was pregnant. Something just seemed different in me. I decided I would just wait until a missed period. Well it never showed up mid November. Took a test and it was very positive, even after only being pregnant for 2 weeks. I waited another two weeks and took another one. Yup. Positive. Went to the doctor and that's when it started to really sink it. It wasn't something just out of sight out of mind. It was really happening. Told the father - my best friend of 9 years - no response. Up until a couple weeks ago. That's another entry all in itself.
Anyways I am now carrying my own personal ray of sunshine. He has changed my life yes but entirely for the better and he isn't even here yet. I have become a much better person. More of the person I've always envisioned I would be. He was that "push" I really needed to become this person. I have mended a lot of old friendships with people I haven't talked to in years and years. I might be single. I might be a lesbian. Might be living at home with my parents. But I have myself and I have him. I have a plan and a crazy support system.
I just cannot wait until I get to hold him. It's going to be my greatest adventure. Storms and all. Mama loves her little Finnley Reid.
Today I bought a new journal, even though I have a good bit of time before I'll need it. I have about 200 pages left in my other journal (haha) But now at least I have it when I need it. Plus it's black and white chevron and teal edging. Very gorgeous. It's hardcover and almost identical to the one I currently am using. <3
I also am on day 3 of my oil pulling. So far haven't noticed much of a difference, but that's okay. It can take a month or two to see an actual difference. I also started used Clairol Shimmer lights conditioning shampoo. It's suppose to cut down on the brassiness of my hair, lets see how it really works :} Fingers crossed. It was 17$ for a 32 ounce bottle. YIKES. Regardless I don't use a lot of shampoo, only wash my hair roughly every 3 days. Give or take. And I use chamomile with a little squirt of condition to spritz my hair every day. Two bags of brewed chamomile and a quarter size of conditioner lasts me a week and a half or two weeks. <3
Tonight I have to fill out all my thank you notes. My lazy self didn't do it today. Or anything on my to do list. Not to happy about not having that list completed. That's for sure.