07.16.2015 :: Thursday



I am really trying to do this today. It's been a struggle for real. I'm trying excruciatingly hard not to beat myself up about...just about everything right now. I know there is no reason to. That being down and negative on myself will do nobody any good. Let alone myself. Plus I do not need those vibes in my life right now. I can only control me now and what I do in the future. Cannot go backwards. And even if we could - we shouldn't.
I've been trying to get the last bit of everything tied together and finished before Finnley's arrival. Doesn't seem like that's really going to happen unless he is later than next Thursday. (4 days past his due date) About the school though. I am not going to fret over it until Monday. I will call my advisor first thing Monday morning and then the financial aid office. Which is the snag up right now. It hasn't been applied. I also have to go down and get my decal and all that jazz, but that can wait. I don't start classes at the campus until the 8th of September. Everything else is online and starts the 17th of August. I have no idea how to do online classes, so that's another thing I'll need to speak with my advisor about. I think I just log onto the elearning website for school and all that but I don't know what my username and password will be. The only class I take at the college is Algebra which is what I really needed to take hands on. I'll more than likely need major tutoring but I know I can do this. Juggling everything is going to be a task that's for sure. I also need to file an extension if possible with my work for an extra month of leave. Going back the first of September is going to absolutely kill me. And of course I will have to post my hours and all that >.< This is going to be hell. Considering right now I'm not even sure I'll have a job to go back to.

But I can only control so much. So I intend to do that and what is out of my hands - is just that. Out of my hands and then time to fill my hands with something else. I've just had a lot going on between all of the stress with work and school and now there's emotional stress, plus of course all my crazy emotions and the fact I'm about to be a mom. And how I'm trying to handle and cope with that. I just have to keep faith in myself and keep the door open for good vibes and opportunities.

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