Each kid is different. It depends on what reinforces them. What do they want? What do they not like?

Some parents try to remove the negative behavior with positive reinforcement. Some with negative reinforcement. Terra's a kid who simply doesn't give a shit if you tell her if she doesn't do "X", she will lose "X" privilege. If she weighs the pros and cons and decides she doesn't care if a toy gets thrown away, TV taken away, toys put out of reach... then she simply doesn't do what's asked of her.

However if you use the positive, "If you do this, then I'll give you 'x'..." she's apt to leap to action. If she wants TV but can't have it until she cleans her toys up, then she'll clean her toys up. If she's already in the process of watching TV, makes a mess, and gets a consequence of the TV being turned off if she doesn't clean, she doesn't give a shit.

There are other reinforcement methods out there. I'd have to brush up on my Learning and Memory class. Been years. I think I kept the book (not sure), but it's buried in the old storage.

If I'm bluntly honest it's easier to slap a kid into submission. I would be lying if I don't feel the urge to just whack her butt on the bad days. But I don't. It is difficult trying to think on the spot of something to do in response to her behavior, immediately. One of the principles of punishment of any sort is the immediacy of it.

If a kid does something 5 hours before and gets punished 5 hours after, chances are the link is never made. A dog that gets punished for peeing on the floor while you're out doing groceries never makes the connection. You come home, they're so happy to see you, probably wagging their tail and jumping, and the immediate response to their shown affection is yelling (or whatever the pet owner does). They wouldn't "get" it was from the pee, even with rubbing their nose in it.

Or a better example... if someone told me I would get 1,000,000 for losing 100lbs, I don't think I could do it. The incentive would be there, but I would hit a wall and give up. If someone offered me 1,000 for every 1lb lost--right when I lost it--you can bet your ass I'd be working extra hard, because I'd be rewarded along the way. The incentive would be enough to reinforce the behavior of weight loss.