Axel woke up where he'd fallen asleep, his head pillowed against the edge of the tub and the crook of his arm. Shirt feeling sticky against his body and dark hair spilling against the porcelain white, he wondered what woke him. He felt both hung over and ripped open and raw, all of his carefully maintained masks cleaned away. The feeling shocked him far more than the uncomfortable chill of the tile floor. Compared to what could have happened after losing control so completely, this didn't feel that bad. He'd done worse, though not often.

Finally, the sound that woke him registered again, pulling Axel fully out of the lull he'd been sitting in. Harlan stood outside his door, pounding on it and yelling. Wincing, Axel curled in on himself for a second before dragging himself to his feet. He did not want to deal with another human being right now, especially a concerned one. Harlan would zero in on this rubbed raw self of his in an instant. And yet, Axel couldn't turn him away either. He told himself it was because Harlan might alert the neighbors and even more eyes would make him want to claw his skin, lock himself in the bathroom and puke. He told himself that as he approached the door.

"I'm alive!" he groaned through it, falling against the wood surface in order to catch his breath instead of opening it so Harlan could look at him. Because how could he interact face to face. Closing his eyes, he managed to ground out words with almost as much snap as usual, but still tinged with a desperateness. "Just leave me alone, okay."