It is quite interesting, although I find that all the characters are very cliche. I do feel like as if I've seen the same personality and appearance in a lot of role plays.
The story itself is piquant, and do urge you to keep it going.
The spelling mistakes I found weren't serious, and I forgot to mark them out... =A=
There weren't any grammar mistakes as far as I could see.
Back to the characters, I do advise you to take care on their personality, and making them less cliche-like. It could be just me, but I just feel like I have seen so many of the same in the role playing forum.
Good luck, and keep going!