I, Strawberry Octopus could not attend Momo con, because of one simple reson. Octopi of a strawberry orientation can not drive! I mean, honestly, where would all our legs go?
For instance, I, as a strawberry octopus, attempted to travel to an art convention one time, and almost became the worlds first strawberry octopus sushi roll! Not only do our legs get in the way, but our taste is far to tempting to the public. But I mean, who can blame those poor deprived individuals that have yet to taste a strawberry octopus? I also failed to appear at Momocon, because well..what would you do if five-foot-four inches of octopus entered your lovely convention building? To make it even more disturbing, I'm Pink! Think of what my suction cups would do as I graced your lovely art with them. Oh and the merch! What a horrible thought. I do hope you realize that I did not attend Momocon for the safety of the innocent attendees!

If I win, I'd like a female shirt, please. :]