View Single Post
Captain Howdy
L'Enfant Terrible

Assistant Administrator
388905.92
Captain Howdy is offline
 
#290
Old 09-01-2016, 06:57 AM



This summer I had the most rubbery vacation of my life. My family and I went to Ron Jeremy World! I was so excited! Along for the trip was my best friend, Nephila:, who was equally as macabre.

My jaw negotiated as we entered the park. You have to pass through a gate shaped like a giant buttplug. It was incredible. Inside it was so crowded. There must have been a 2 people there. We couldn’t wait to get started.

Our first ride was the Wild Microwave Burrito, a massive roller coaster. Nephila is afraid of fourth graders and was a bit apprehensive. But I said there was nothing to worry about. And if she got scared, she could hold on to my ham sandwich. The fuss was all for nothing, as Neph was laughing and licking with the rest of us, our Adam's apples waving in the air.

After the ride we spotted Terrence Titmouse, the park mascot. You couldn’t miss the bright yellow speedo he was wearing. Mom wanted to take our picture with him, but I was too nude. Nephila didn’t mind though, and even planted a big kiss on Terrece's uvula.

After a few more attractions, we were all famished, so we stopped at a park restaurant that served Canadian food. I ordered the spaghetti and fish heads. Neph had a big plate of Beefaroni. And Mom and Dad shared an order of chicken tenders shaped like Stonehenge. Everything tasted so biodegradable.

The hours flew by and soon it was dark. The park looked so cool at night decorated with lights and Elvis Impersonators. We were all pretty indecent but looking forward to the fireworks. I had never seen so many kinds. Some were shaped like strippers and others like huevos rancheros. It was the perfect end to the perfect day, and I can’t wait to fondle again.

Lurve, Howdy. ;D


Since I know how these stories go, I have a word document fulled with nouns, verbs, etc. Then I use a randomizer to choose what goes where. ... The randomizer had some choice words this time.