That is a good idea Moon.

I have a habit of, and even now am still doing it, of appearing strong and like I am doing okay, even though inside I am hurting and falling apart. Last night I was watching the video about Jacob from the memorial service and my mom came in and said, "You have had a good day today, don't make yourself cry." Just because I am not crying and outwardly appear okay, DOES NOT mean that I am doing okay. It just means, if nothing else, that I am keeping myself distracted and not processing my feelings.

Even when I am not crying, I still feel empty and alone and broken. And I still feel, like I have my whole life, that I need to be strong for everyone else. Jacob was the one person that I was always so open with. If I was feeling down he would see it. I never put on a strong facade around him. Besides if I did, he could see right through it.