Today was not a very good day. I got a message from my friend in the morning that ended up upsetting me and then in the afternoon I found out that my BF was going to hang out with his friends at the bar in the evening when I had been expecting to spend some time with him tonight. I tried to tell him that I was upset and we ended up getting into an argument over text message while I was at work. Needless to say it was a very long and difficult day to get with.

Finally I got out of work and was on the train home when I got another message from my BF and I just lost it. I wanted to cry. And then I wanted to break things. I felt trapped on the train and it was a very long subway ride. When I got home I changed my clothes and went running until I couldn’t breathe and didn’t feel like breaking things anymore. Then I went home and sat down on the floor in the bathroom to write him out a message because my cat kept biting me and that is the only place I could get away from her.

Of course my BF didn’t answer all night so I ended up calling my sister and talking to her for a while. It was kind of nice since I haven’t really spoken to her in a long time and she made me feel a little bit better.

• • •

LOL, I’m not really feeling the beach body this week. I’ve been eating too much junk.

I had a really hard time sleeping last night due to more bug issues and woke up feeling like crap. I cleaned out the kitchen cupboard to make sure there weren’t any cockroach eggs in there, painted my nails, and then headed over to my BF’s place to talk to him. We had an okay conversation and it felt like things were going a bit better. We ordered some dinner and watched a couple episodes of The 100 then I asked him if he would come back to my place for the night and he said yes, but then immediately changed his mind because he didn’t want to take the train. I was so disappointed after that long conversation that we just had and it felt like he let me down. I would have stayed with him but his AC was broken and there was no way I would be able to sleep with the heat and the noise of the open window. I didn’t end up getting home till around midnight feeling sad and lonely and hurt. What a crappy ending to the day.

• • •

I feel so…unhappy.

Another restless night. I woke up feeling sad after what happened last night. I got on and played some SWTOR for most of the afternoon. A friend came on later and I wanted to ask them to do some stuff with me but they had other things they wanted to do which just added to how crappy I have been feeling since Friday. I got off for a while to cool down and then eventually got back on to play a bit more before bed. Overall it was a pretty shit weekend and I don’t feel very rested for the start of next week.

• • •

Eh, I’m not feeling super special right now. I think I’m just going to skip this one.

I had both insomnia and bug problems last night. I only slept for maybe 4 hours max and woke up feeling run over. My head hurt, my stomach hurt…I felt awful. I dragged myself to work and through the day then after work I headed to bowling since it was the first night of the league. I really didn’t want to go but I figured it would be harder to meet everyone after they were already starting to get to know each other so I forced myself to go. It was kind of eh. Only one of my team mates showed up at first then finally a few other people came around later but there were still a few no shows. Apparently I got put in with an already established team so it felt kind of awkward. I don’t think I’ll be making friends with anyone this time around which is a shame since that was the whole reasoning to joining back up. Oh well, at least I bowled a pretty good game. The first game I got 77 and the second game I got 106!!! Not bad! On top of that I bought this summer bowling pass so I can play 3 games every day of the summer. I can’t wait! After bowling I headed home and got on SWTOR to see if my friend was on but they weren’t. Another friend got on though and we chatted a bit on Discord which was fun.

• • •

I think I’ll skip this one too.