i hope it's ok to talk in here... thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing these!! i just wanna say i really relate. the hospital is so lonely, and i'm always so afraid when i'm there. i remember being absolutely convinced they had speakers, mics, and cameras in my room and were talking to me/trying to brainwash me while i slept and recording everything i said and did. and when i went to the nurses to call them out about it, they were so mean to me. i knew it was true, yet they refused to admit it or even hear me out. i've only ever had one nurse i really liked. she had an autistic son, so i think she was especially kind to me because she knew i was autistic and understands autistic people, but all the other nurses were so terse with me or seemed freaked out by me. :( anyway! sorry for rambling, i just wanted to let you know you're not alone.