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09:01 PM

It is customary for a gentleman to bring his date a gift. A small token of affection. But not all gifts are so welcomed, just as not all men are gentlemen.

Story One-BX

F +10 Points
A single red rose, the perfect gesture for a first date. How gentlemanly. Sweet, and just romantic enough without being overly familiar. Your date is making a very good first impression.
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G +9 Points
Look! A delicious bottle of Pinot Grigio. Your date has brought you the gift of booze! And quite the risk, too. Why you might have been teetotaler. Luckily for him, you can never say no to a good wine.

B +8 Points
Your date presents you with a copy of his favorite book of Elizabethan poetry. My, how sophisticated. Turning to a noted page, he begins to recite with such eloquence. It’s so lovely, it doesn’t matter you don’t understand a word of it.

C +7 Points
You’re usually not one for fragrances, but it’s such a generous gift, and of an extravagant variety, too. You thank your date and set the bottle down for later, but he insists you try some on now. Realistically, you understand he simply wants to see you enjoy the present, but a small part of you wonders if he actually thinks you stink.

E +6 Points
The most one would expect on a blind date is some candy and flowers. But your date didn’t seem to get that memo. “Is that a real diamond ring?!” You ask, astonished. And indeed it is. You politely decline the gift. It’s far too expensive of a gesture. But you suitor insists, no matter how much you refuse. So awkward.

H +5 Points
In the handbook of what not to give on a first date, a living creature is pretty much number one. The puppy is certainly adorable, and you fight with all your might the urge to snuggle it. But you just don’t have the time or room for one. “That’s cwazy,” your date lifts the puppy and adopts a squeaky voice, “I’ll be no twouble at all!” Good grief.

J +4 Points
When you were seven your grandfather ran over a woodchuck. Now any sane person would have just disposed of the flattened beastie. But Gramps thought it would be a keen idea to turn the road kill into a hat, with it’s smushed face and matted fur. The hat was an embarrassment to the family and was the ugliest thing you ever saw… until now. “I made this sweater for you.” Your date holds the garment up enthusiastically.

I +3 Points
“Wow, you look just like how Sophie described you.” Your date smiles as he meets you at the door. “I hope that’s a good thing.” You jokingly laugh. He doesn’t answer right away, but hands you a gift. “I brought you some candy.”
“That’s so nice of you. Than…” You begin, but then pause. “Why is it diet candy?”

D +2 Points
Oh look, your date brought you a shirt. And another shirt. And some pants. And a pair of underwear? … This is his laundry.

“You don’t mind, do you?” He asks, as you reevaluate your life.

A +1 Point
Your date hands you a photo. At first you think it’s a naked mole rat, but on closer inspection… Oh god! “Aw yeah.” He smiles. “Play your cards right and all that can be yours.” … Come tomorrow you’re going to have very some choice words for Sophie.
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