WARNING - There was a bit of a heavy scene here, so I decided to bleep it out. It wasn't much, but I don't want to push the site's boundaries. If you want the full version, you can find it here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9143137/...eling-of-Grass

Chapter Four

I don't know how or why, but somehow Thomas got the family to let me stay for a while. They didn't know me, or even want to know much more. Apparently he had asked quite diligently and they allowed at least a week or two before I had to finally leave. I think Thomas convinced them that I needed mental rehabilitation and that only he could provide it. And I couldn't very well disagree to that, now could I?

Coming to terms with what had happened only just a day or so ago was taking all my time and energy. I had nothing to compare the experience to, seeing as I had never even been with a girl so intimately. I was a young lad and worked on a farm constantly - there was no time for such dalliances. Of course, I had eyed a few during our trips to the market, but nothing ever came of that. So the whole prospect of my first kiss was daunting, and to have it be with a man...

But somehow it was different. When I thought of kissing, or doing... other things... with a man, I thought it almost revolting. But when I thought of doing them with Thomas, it was a pleasant thought which filled my stomach with butterflies and made my heart skip a beat then speed up. I didn't know what to make of such a reaction. Maybe it wasn't that I fancied men, just that I fancied Thomas.

At the moment, however, I was sat in my wheelchair in Thomas's room. He had let me borrow a book or two, and I had attempted to read them, to no avail. Nothing ever seemed too interesting. Then, against my better judgment, I had gone snooping in his things. Nothing too personal; I was sure to stay away from a suspicious leather-bound book I found in the top drawer of his dresser. I took a quick glance at some photos though, and had come to the conclusion that he had a younger sister, and was indicated on the back of the photo her name was Annabel. She looked fairly similar to our own Anna, with fair hair and big eyes. No wonder Thomas was so fond of her.

I had only occupied his room for two days; there had not been any real time to be alone. He was busy all through the day and was exhausted at the end of it all; basically just walking in and passing out on his bed. I felt bad for him. Here I was, sitting and reading all day while they worked the very life out of the man. I was tempted to give him something relaxing to come to bed to, but... I wasn't ready for something like that. Not yet, anyhow.

Tomorrow was his day off, he'd told me earlier. We hadn't had much chance to talk though, and it was a sort of passing comment. The situation was eating at me. When were we going to talk about what happened? Did I even want to talk about it yet?

I remembered that this morning was a little calmer for Thomas, as he was able to actually get ready for the day at a reasonable pace. Though, to be fair, I was half asleep and didn't really care much about anything that was happening at the time. But apparently the day had been calmer to the man, and when he finally came in for the night, he was much more awake than usual. Still tired, but not ready to pass out. Maybe we could talk tonight?

As he walked into the room, my eyes were automatically drawn to him. "Hey," I said softly, the word slipping out of my mouth with not much thought. It startled me how informal I was, but then I had to remind myself that I had kissed this man - I had a right to be at least a little informal.

He looked over at me with a smile. "Hello, Charlie," he said, much more formally. He started to take off his coat, and I realized that either I had been too tired to notice, or he really HAD just been passing out when he got in, because... I had never seen him undress. I gulped as he started to pull on his tie. He had started to wear his footmen's livery when he stopped working with the wounded, and I wasn't sure whether I was annoyed or relieved that the uniform had much more layers. "How was your day?"

His words brought me back out of my trance and I glanced away awkwardly. "Alright I suppose. Boring as ever though. I wish I had more to do than read," I said, happy for a reason to bring my mind off of the stripping.

He started to unbutton his undershirt. "Well, it won't be forever," he said, glancing at me sadly. That got me thinking: why was I here, anyhow? I mean, sure we had a sort of 'thing' started, but honestly what was his plan? I couldn't very well live there with him to carry on a secret relationship. He was right - it wouldn't last forever.

"Thomas..." I sighed, and the tone in my voice drew him to look at me. That's when he pulled off his undershirt to reveal his chest. I knew it was obvious that I was staring as my eyes shot downwards from his face. He wasn't the most built ever, with little to no tone (you could tell he'd worked in a house his whole life), but he was far from unfit. His stomach was a flat plane with a small dusting of very dark hair, from his chest to below his waist line. I gulped, forgetting what I was going to say. When I looked back up into his eyes, he was smirking with the most devious grin I'd ever seen. A burn flared in my cheeks and I took to staring at the wall opposite me.

He laughed. "What were you saying, Charlie?" he mocked, reminding me of my lost thoughts.

"Oh, uh..." I had to think a moment. "I was going to ask the point of me being here," I said, and the feeling in the room lowered to a seriousness I was uncomfortable with.

The silence was almost unbearable. Thankfully, after a long pause, Thomas began. "I... don't know, really. I just... didn't want you to go. Honestly, I didn't know what I was going to do after you were allowed to stay," he admitted with a sigh.

Another silence and he returned to his changing. I gulped as he unbuttoned his trousers. "God..." I whispered, and realized with fear I'd said it out loud.

"What? You okay?" Thomas questioned, apparently missing the effect he was having on me. Of course he'd caught me staring, but maybe it had slipped his mind...? "Am I really so breathtaking?" he laughed. Apparently not.

He returned to his work at my silence. Then, I laughed. I hadn't meant to, but I did. "Yes," I said bluntly as he pulled off his trousers, leaving him only in his underpants. Then he began to pull up pajamas and I sighed in defeat. That hadn't lasted as long as I'd liked it to.

He seemed momentarily stunned at my answer, but then just turned to me with a smirk. He pulled over a white shirt and sat down in his bed, across from me. He looked at me for a moment, waiting for me to say something, but I didn't know what. "Look," he started, eyeing the floor. "I know what happened between us a few days ago. I had thought the feeling was mutual, seeing as the action was reciprocated, but if you feel as if I've made you uncomfortable - "

"No!" I cut him off, wheeling closer to him. "No, that's not what I meant. The feeling is well and truly mutual; it's just that I don't know where this is going. Obviously I like you, a lot, but I've never even been with a woman before, so intimacy in general is new to me. And also... I don't know what the plan is with me staying here. Am I to just hole up in your room until the family forgets about me and lets me live here, or what?" I sighed, feeling my eyes burning. "I'm not even sure where I would be if I were to leave the abbey. I've nowhere else to go."

Thomas stayed quiet for a while, and then I felt a soft touch on my jaw. His fingers gently pushed my face upwards and our lips met softly. The kiss wasn't all that different to the first time's; gentle and caring - making sure not to go too far. He was being careful with me, I realized. He knew I was inexperienced and he was trying to be kind about it.

A warm feeling seeped into my chest at the realization. His fingers gently traveled from my jaw to the back of my neck, in my hair. I wrapped my arms around his back, pulling him closer. The kiss was almost identical to the first time, and I found myself a little disappointed. I knew I had to be the one to change it, seeing as he was being so cautious.

~ SLIGHTLY TOO STEAMY FOR PG-13 ~ For full version, see top

He began to get up, moving away from me. "H-hey, where're you going?" I mumbled, my voice faltering slightly, as if it hadn't been used in years.

He grinned again at the sound of my battered voice. He crawled up in the sheets of his bed. "To sleep."

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