B +10 Points
Now there’s home cooking and then there’s home cookin’. Your mom must be the best cook in the world, and boy does she put out quite the spread during the holidays. Turkey, ham, mashed potatoes, gravy, chestnut stuffing, roasted squash, sweet carrots and green beans and a whole host of desserts. As you sit down at the dinner table with you family, you’re filled with a warmth you just can’t find anywhere else.


I +9 Points
It’s been decided that this year’s dinner will be a potluck. Mom provides the turkey. Grandma makes a sumptuous beef wellington. Dad fries up some fish he caught earlier in the week. Grandpa mixes up the eggnog. You, Melinda and Tommy work together to make the sides. Aunt Dale fills the credenza with cookies and pies, while Uncle Lewis prepares a traditional figgy pudding. Chad surprises everyone with a delicious vegetable stew and even little Tabitha makes cupcakes with help from her mom. It’s nice to see everyone contributing, it adds a special touch to your holiday meal.


G +8 Points
Nothin’ says lovin’ like what comes out of mom’s oven, but unfortunately Mom’s decided she’d like to take it easy this holiday season. This year’s dinner will be professionally catered. It’s quite the feast, to be sure, and undeniably delicious, but seems to lack that special, quality home cooked magic.


C +7 Points
When you think of traditional holiday meals, you tend to imagine turkey, ham and all the trimmings. But this year Mom wants to go outside tradition. She and Dad recently did some traveling, and she’d like to give dinner an international flare. Hangikjöt from Iceland. Portuguese salted cod. Slovakian kapustnica. Tabouleh and baba ganoush. A yummy looking French bûche de Noël and much more. It’s unusual and definitely not what you’re used to, but still tastes really good.


E +6 Points
If there’s one time of year you shouldn’t have to worry about calories, it’s the holidays. Sadly, Mom didn’t seem to get that memo. She’s goin’ healthy this season. No creamy mashed potatoes or rich gravy. No decadent cakes or pies. Nope, this year’s meal consists of poached turkey breast with rosemary roasted potatoes. Parsnip mash and lentil salad. And a gingered angel food cake for dessert. – Now don’t get it wrong. It all tastes good, it’s just not what you were hoping for.


H +5 Points
Your trip home was filled with visions of all the tasty things you were going to nom; none of which included eating frozen dinners in front of the TV. “Well, I’m just so busy this time of year, honey.” Mom explained. “I simply didn’t have time to whip up a proper meal.” Sigh. The food is unquestionably subpar, but you have to admit, there’s something special about all of you sitting round the television, watching Chilly the Snowman’s Non-Specific All Inclusive Holiday Special. It’s kinda nice. ... Kinda.


A +4 Points
Your sister may be many things, but she is definitely not domestically inclined. She has a maid to clean her house, and a cook to prepare her meals. But every once in a blue moon, Melinda decides she wants to do something herself. And regrettably, for you and yours, that something is now the holiday dinner. You all approach the table like condemned men being led to the gallows. On the surface, the food appears mostly edible, but taking a bite proves slightly less so. Instinct would have you push your plate away, but Melinda was so earnest in her effort that the family simply soldiers on with a smile.


J +3 Points
Juicy turkey. Delectable ham. Rolled pork with cranberries. It all could have been yours. It should have been yours. It would had been yours… had not the refrigerator broken down and spoiled all the food inside. “We’ll just have to make do with what we have.” Mom says. This means a smorgasbord of canned goods. And try as you might, you just can’t trick your brain into thinking canned spaghetti is turkey.


D +2 Points
Dinner was supposed to be extra special this year. Only yesterday did they deliver Mom’s brand new stove, and she was so excited at the prospect of christening it with the holiday meal. “This is pretty fancy.” You say. “Did you read the manual?” – She chuckles. “Oh sweetie, I think I know how to work an oven.” But the stove proved more complicated than she thought, and what resulted was a burned disaster. “I guess we’ll have to order out.” Dad say. – “Oh, no!” Mom says, crossly. “I busted my back making this dinner, and you’re all going to eat it!” So dig in. It’s only marginally more flavorful than eating charcoal.


F +1 Point
You don’t know what happened. It all looked so good. It all looked so perfect! You couldn’t remember when you had a better nosh. But it started with Grandpa Frank. A loud rumbling erupted from his belly and, wide eyed, he hurried away from the table. You all wondered what the deal was, when a growl sounded from Melinda’s stomach. Then Tommy’s and Uncle Lewis’. Then it hit you, the pain. Oh god, you need to get to a bathroom, fast! It’s… It’s… It’s food poisoning! The family retreats to their respective homes and spends the next few hours glued to their respective toilets, each a sweaty, quivering mess.