So this is where i'll post my updates for why I'm gone so much. I apologize over and over each time. Even if I don't say it, I do still think and mean it.

I work in retail as a CSA in a convince store (fancy words for customer service associate aka cashier, floor person, photo, beauty - mostly cashier half the time though)
I work 36-40 hours each week, I am told to do events, come up with ideas, go into a cooler for about 4-5 hours ish and yes it does take that long. Face the store, clean/organize photo, put away totes aka stocks, check/ring people out, try not to go off on anyone which is very difficult even with experience over the years, help others around the store, and help co workers. I'm also in training to try and move up.

At home: Clean, cook, give younger sibling a bath once every so many nights (random), play on the trampoline with them, minecraft, etc. Keep them entertained and try to find time for my own life i dont pass out on the couch >...> first.

What I worry about work wise: Simple. I worry I'm never good enough, I hate memories that slow me down and remind me my faults, and even with the praise or what not. I still don't think I'll be able to move up.

Why do i want to move up? simple again. More money. More control on telling others to get their stuff together and do their own work. Mostly the money and making my store a better place for customers to shop.

anything else? dunno trying not to fall asleep.