Today I lost my job. I should feel bad about it, sad, worried. I’m not. I’m just wondering when the newspaper comes so I can look around for another.

Got up late this morning. Almost ten. I was still pretty tired, though. The paper came yesterday. And today. I got them both and never even opened them.

Maybe later.

I’m bored, but can’t find what to do. I should really look in those papers, but I can’t find the energy... No ambition.

Went to bed early last night, but still got up after eleven this morning. Maybe I’ll get out today, take a walk, even look into a job opportunity; there’s always something in one of those restaurants or gas stations, an office job, even.

Maybe tomorrow.

Papers are piling up. Been told I won’t get anymore if I don’t clean them from the step. I know, I have to, I’ll do it later. And I should really clean the place, it’s getting dirty. Dishes, clothes... Dusting really needs done.

Fridge is nearly empty too. I don’t have much in food but some instant noodles and bread, nearly stale, some jars with peanut butter and jelly. I should go shopping.

Not right now...

Lost my house today. It was a rental, and I was way behind. Sold my bike, car, and what furniture people would buy, but money didn’t last long. I don’t want to go to some shelter, though. I don’t want to be looked down on.

I know I really need to find a job, but I don’t have clean clothes, and only a few cents. No one would hire me. I’m just some... bum. I should really... do something.

But I can’t now. I’ve lost everything. I don’t even know where my immediate family is. Couldn’t ask them for help, though, I wouldn’t. I got lazy. I got slow. And this is my punishment.

I’m sick.

Today I was beaten and left for dead in the alley I tried to call a temporary home. Apparently I was on the wrong side of town, and they wanted to show me who’s boss. I got the message, that’s for sure, and I think a couple bones got the worst of it. I’m having trouble walking, and my shoulder really hurts me now. I can hardly move my hand...

I don’t want to think about the future. I don’t want to know what happens to me. I can’t sleep, I can’t find much to eat without begging. I want my house back. My job back. I want my old life back.