The anxieties alone were enough to drive any sane person up the wall.

However, Russell Tringham hadn't been sane in over a year.

Muddy golden eyes flicked across the array that covered nearly the entire flood of his room. He often came upon things that needed to be changed, adding an incantation here, removing a dimension there. Madness was prevalent in tainted gold eyes, fury, as always, bubbling just beneath the surface, ready to take charge if he was crossed. His eyes shifted fretfully to the small shrine set up in memoriam of his younger brother, its two accompanying candles cutting through the darkness, aided by five candles surrounding the extensive transmutation circle.

That was Russell's one and only truth, now; the death of his brother, Fletcher Tringham. Losing his brother had been a blow the young alchemist just couldn't handle. After all, it could have easily been prevented. If only stupid Russell didn't argue so fervently when he needn't do so, if he'd only seen his brother run into the street after his hat. Trampled to death, carriage horses... Why that way, though? What had he done to deserve that...?

The elder Tringham brother raised himself to his knees, stroking his chin and the three-day-old stubble that lay there. His eyes darted across the array for what seemed to be the millionth time, completely ignoring the short, gold-eyed blonde seated across from him. Everything needed to be completely perfect. This was the one chance that he had to make things write, to fix the wrongs of his current reality. There was a small basin in the center of the transmutation circle, the basic components of the human body taking up the space within it.

"35 liters water..." he started reciting to himself quietly. "20 kilograms carbon... 4 liters ammonia... 1.5 kilograms Lye... 800 grams phosphorous... 250 grams salt... 100 grams saltpeter... 80 grams sulfur... 7.5 grams fluorine... 5 grams iron... 3 grams silicon..." He paused, having stood while he was speaking, and was looking over a table that was covered in a variety of bottles, some large, some small, some full, some empty. The boy looked over each one carefully, before selecting a substantial-sized bottle and a tiny vial, both filled with a deep red liquid.

Finally, he acknowledged the other alchemist with a faint, superior smirk directed toward the short Elric brother. "And, of course, the two crucial ingredients that you failed to mention," he said, almost sounding snide with the way it was voiced. He uncorked the larger vial, and knelt down at the shallow dish in the center of the array, carefully pouring the liquid into it. "1 liter red water..." he noted, and then re-corked the bottle and tossed it gently across the floor, so it ended up just outside the transmutation circle. "And, lastly, 2 milliliters angel's blood, and one drop of my own," he said quietly, silent to the point that he may as well have not said anything at all.

He glanced up at the boy across from himself, pressing the palms of both of his hands together, a dedicated look in his far-from-sane eyes. "Ready?"

Why had he let himself get sucked into this? Why did he listen to Russell Tringham when he proposed the idea? He was well aware as to what would happen. It had failed every other time before, why would it succeed now? Just because there were a few new ingredients didn't mean that it was going to succeed anymore than past experiments had.

Alphonse had no idea what he was here at the moment either. He merely believed that he and Russell were doing research, which, in essence, was true. The younger Elric would never approve of something like this if he had ever found out. He would simply make the elder Elric look at his right arm or left leg and remind him of the dangers of trying to bring someone back. It wasn't worth it. The dead need to remain that, dead.

But here he was, sitting with Russel as the teen placed all the ingredients of a human body in a large bowl. He were locked on the teen's hands as he poured in the large vial of red water before he uncorked the smaller vial of angel blood.

Angel blood. That's what had enticed him. He had never thought of adding some as unattainable as Angel blood.

The idea of adding the blood of something as magnificent and elegant as an angel was mind-boggling. Edward knew that the creatures existed, but he had never seen one. They were creatures of lore like goblins and elves. Something you knew had to be out there, but had a better chance of marrying a princess before you saw one.

He watched as Russell looked to him, an excited look in his eyes as he asked if he were ready. The blond nodded his head, "Yes."

Russell was so different now. Before he had been his rival in the race for knowledge in the sorcerer's stone, now he was nearly a shell of who he had been, obsessed with getting his brother back.

Anyone would've told Russell that the accident hadn't been his fault. That no one could have had the foresight to tell the younger Tringham to just cut his loses with the hat instead of chasing it out into the street, or even the knowledge that the boy would shoot off after it without even checking for traffic. No, it wasn't Russell's fault that it had happened, but he was taking the blame.

Edward gingerly stood from his place on a nearby wooden chair and walked over to the other teen. His automail groaned softly as he kneeled down beside the blond. "I... just hope this works."

Russell's eyes followed Ed's every movement distrustfully. He very well knew that Edward had once before attempted this very same feat, and he'd forever lost an arm and a leg from it. As a result, Russell always had an eye on him, paranoid that he would leave and tell someone about the elder Tringham's departure into insanity. Then again, he was now constantly afraid that the important people in his life were just going to up and vanish, just as his brother had. Unfortunately for him, Edward Elric had become one of these 'important people'. After all, he was helping him get his brother back. He was the only one who knew of both the pain and willing sacrifice that Russell was going through after the loss of his brother.

Russell only nodded in reply to Ed's second statement, the fear of what he was about to do finally setting in. His hands shook as, in time with Ed, he placed them on the edge of the array. In no more than a moment, the whole room came to life with a swirling golden light that immediately blew out the seven candles set up in the room. A smile highlighted Russell's illuminated face. It was going to work. He was sure it was going to work!

The joy turned to a look of horror when the light turned from gold to dark red, and he was unable to pull himself from the cursed magic. All vision in his left eye blurred, and then his soul was ripped from his body, and dropped in front of the Gate.

When had this happened? When had Tringham truly lost it and decided this was the only way he could go on living, if he even lived through it? He didn't remember, but he remembered when he'd finally crawled to the Elric Brothers for help.

Russell rapped at the door a moment after he had the first time, impatience obvious in his constant fidgeting.

"Comiiing~!" announced the higher voice of the younger Elric brother, followed by the loud approach of running footsteps. The door was thrown open, making Russell jump in his apprehensive state. The young Alphonse looked confused for a moment, before his face broke out in a wide grin. "Russell! Hi! It's good to see you again~"

How the younger Elric could be so happy so early on such a chilly morning, Russell wasn't sure, but he put on a convincing smile despite that. "Hi Alphonse, it's good to see you again, too. Actually, I was wondering if I could speak with your brother...?"

If possible, the boy's face lit up even more at the mention of Ed, making Russell cringe inwardly. He didn't have that anymore. It didn't take long for Al to lead him through the small state alchemist dorm, and Russell closed the door softly after Al left the two alone, with a bit of light hinting.

Immediately, Russell dropped the fake smile and dropped down to his knees beside the Fullmetal Alchemist.

"Ed, I need your help. Fletcher, he- my brother- God, I still remember watching it happen!" he rambled, that crazed look already blooming in his muddy gold eyes. "I need him back, Ed. You know what it's like, right? You lost your brother, too, remember?! Remember how you'd do anything to get him back?!

"I'll do anything to get him back, Elric. And look!!" he cut off, digging through his pockets and pulling out a small vial of a red liquid, grinning like a madman all the while. "S-see? It's angel's blood. It can bring him back, I know it can!!"

Edward released a shaky, nervous sigh as he clapped his hands and in sync with Russell, touched them to the array.

The strangely familiar feeling of having his body ripped out hit him instantly. He felt not pain, however. Only immense regret that he had betrayed his brother and fear that he may never see him again. The feeling that he would never be able to apologize for his mistakes. Why had he done this.

He felt a pain bud in his left shoulder as he body rattled uncomfortably. He felt panic rise within him as he felt his soul ripped from his body and deposited by the door. Strangely, Edward could only thing of the day Russell had come tom on his knees, begging for his help with this. The first time he had ever seen angel's blood...

Edward had been working his research that he had to turn into the military. Some research on a new array that could easily be used on the battle field.

He turned his attention to the door that had opened and cocked his head slightly as the Tringham brother walked into the room. He had wondered why the man was here. He hadn't seen the man since Fletcher's funeral, but had heard a few rumors about what the man was up too.

The older Elric was flabbergasted when the man dropped to his knees, telling Ed how he was still reliving his brother's death. How he could still see it happen. How he needed to get him back.

Before Edward could open his mouth and immediately refuse, telling the man that the dead are gone and nothing can bring them back and that Fletcher's death was an terrible accident, the man state that he would do anything and removed a small vial from his pocket, telling him that the content was angel's blood.

Angel's blood. It was something he had never heard of being introduced into Alchemy. Not because it was so taboo, but because it was almost impossible to come by. He wondered what Russell had to do to get possession of the vial.

"How did you get that, Russell?" Edward asked, his eyes locked on the glass vial in Russell's hand.

Russell's breathing was coming only in ragged, shaky gasps as he kept the vial held outward. He had many scars from what it had taken him to get his hands on it, though it wasn't what he'd had in mind with what he'd been attempting. Thankfully, he found it as an alternative to the horrific thing that he'd been planning to do originally. When Ed asked how he'd come by it, however, he closed his mouth and looked away from the older man, taking on the appearance of a child who'd stolen the cookie from the cookie jar, guiltier than a grown man ever should look.

"I..." he started, but paused, not truly wanting to continue with the statement. Of course, did he really have a choice? If he didn't answer, Edward would just proceed to pester him until he got to the bottom of the bottomless situation, where every single thing that Russell had done was worse than the last. If there truly was a heaven, there wasn't a single chance that he would make it there, now, meaning that he would never see his brother again. Unless, of course, he brought him back. And that thought only made him even more desperate.

"I think I'm losing my mind, Ed," he mumbled, one of his feet scratching at his other ankle nervously behind him, before he flopped even lower than he was, sitting on his legs now, head drooped to stare at the floor. Even the arm with the hand that had been holding the vial of angel's blood fell from the air, now sitting aside him with the vial held in a loose grip. His muddy eyes prickled with tears, and he fiercely wiped them away with his empty hand.

"I tried to kill myself when I realized that Fletcher was gone," he stated finally, the choked and strangled sobs getting stuck in the back of his throat, warping his speech. "And I failed. Then I tried again, and again, and again. I got closer every single time that I did it, and the final time, I found myself at the gate, and there was this man with wings standing in front of me. He was looking at me with some form of disgusted pity, and I hated him for it. So I attacked him. Killing myself with alchemy was the best idea I'd had, but killing something as holy as an angel, having his blood on my hands... it wasn't worth it, was it? Even for Fletcher, should I really have done such a thing...?"

Edward stared at Russell. He wondered how deep the relationship with his brother had been for the other man to have tried to kill himself. Then again, Edward would probably want to have killed himself should Alphonse died. Al was the one thing that made life good. Fletcher must've been the same thing.

But killing an angel? He had had the once in a life time opportunity of seeing one and he killed it?

Edward looked away from Russell. He wasn't sure how he should respond. Sure, this new component was sure to have some kind of effect on bringing someone back, but no one knew what the addition of the blood would do.

"Russell... My god.. What have you done?" He asked, his jaw dropping slightly.

Despite his disgust, he had to admit that he was intrigued. He might even be intrigued enough to go against his one rule and try to bring a human back once again. The power in angel blood might be just enough to do it.

Not only that, the added power of blood to any kind of alchemy always made it stronger. It was only wondered to be wondered what would happen if he used angel--

No! This was wrong. He couldn't think like that. What was the military doing to him? Experimenting like this was wrong.

"I.. I don't know if I should help you, Russell.. I mean, I know what happens when you try to bring someone back. It's impossible. The dead should stay dead, Russell."