Been waiting for a crapload of stuff to build up that I know I wouldn't be able to find the answers to. Usually before even thinking about asking for help on here, I think to myself what others might say to me if I asked for their advice on the subject(s) at hand. When I come up with nothing, that's when I ask others for the help.

Problem Uno

I have this friend. Female, young (early twenties), smart, beautiful. HOWEVER - she's a lazy bum that doesn't even want to try to make life better for herself. I've known her for a couple of years now. But hadn't really talked to her until a few months ago. (I knew her in high school.) I think she's pretty much ran out of friends and came crawling to me; expecting me to unload all sympathies I could come up with, onto her. I offered my support. But the funny thing is, she doesn't seem to want to listen at all. It seems she's looking for an easy way out of stuff. Always complaing she doesn't have friends, but yet won't even try to go make friends. She's always whining about her weight (she's obese), but when I suggest she change her dieting a bit and go exercise, she complains that it's just too damn tough. I even offered to be her workout buddy. She STILL chooses to scarf down 500 meals a day, mostly consisting of junk food and the like. Another thing she complains about not being able to find work. That I can understand. It's been tough for me to find work, too. However she makes no effort at all to find work. I was nice enough to fill out applications for her and turn them in. She got TWO call backs and she declined them. doubleyewteeff much?

My question: how the heck can I help a person that doesn't seem to want to be helped, but still asks of it? I feel so inclined to help her even though it's tough trying to understand her.

Problem Dos

I have only one man in my life, and he's also my best friend. His name is Gus and he's my dog (Puggle breed). I have never had any true friends (that didn't want to use me for my advice, money, time, et cetera.) However, Gus I can rely on. He was intended to be the family dog. In fact, a gift to my father from my step-mother. Over time I began to notice that he would folllow me everywhere. I go into the bathroom and he'll wait outside the door whining until I come out. If I'm bathing and I'm in the bathroom for along while, he likes to come inside and lay on the bathroom rug until I am done.

More and more over time, my family realized (which I hadn't at first) that he only listens to me. They give him orders and he'll ignore them. I tell him to sit, stay, et cetera - he'll listen to me. Because of all this, I guess my stepmother just doesn't seem to like him at all. She's even kicked him. (Which I jumped her shit about.) Anyway, it's not like I told Gus to obey me and only me. He just chose me I guess? Well I've become very close with him. If he's hurt or seems sick, you can be sure I'll worry about him.

My problem is that my step-mother wants to get rid of the dog. And since she's got my father wrapped around his finger, he's agreed to get rid of the dog, too. Firstly - I'm upset because I've grown close to him. Secondly, Gues has already been through three different families and he's only four years old. He doesn't need to be moved around again. I told my father to give me a bit more time until I move, then I would take Gus with me. He's thinking on it, but my stepmother is being a bitch and trying to change his mind again.

How can I try getting through to my stepmother and father about this? Time is flying by too quickly on this issue, that I'm afraid I might lose my best friend. Somewhat like the first issue; how do I change a stubborn mind?


edit; on a slightly smaller issue. What can I do to stop myself from biting my nails? I never used to do it until recently. And I like having long beautiful nails. But I bite them so much that I get hangnails and they just look completely terrible. :<

Thanks greatly for any input!

First - What you really should tell her I think, is that if she doesn't put forth the effort to try to succeed in life she's going to fail.
Tell her that if she comes to you for help, and takes none of your advice and continues to whine and complain, tell her that until she gets her act together and starts acting like an adult, that she's wasting your time by asking for an easy way out.

I personally have no job, no money, and I'm terribly underweight... but at least if someone offered to help I actually try... though just trying to stay sane atm >.<
She needs to take responsibility for her actions. By declining those phone calls, she's basically saying she wants to leech off you... =.=

Second - Maybe if you made arrangements for a friend to take him in until you move out? Or maybe if you have any source of income bribing her might work...

Just throwing a dog away like that is horrible... because it loves you... and when an animal gets attached to someone it causes a lot of pain to just... vanish from their life...
Also, having been through so many families... the dog is going to start developing trauma from this I'm sure, and stop getting attached to people for a really long time...

I think having a friend possibly taking him in is the best bet though. =) best of luck... hope you can keep him ^_^

Third - Hmm... as for biting nail stopping, one thing I've heard work is find something that goes on your nails that tastes REALLY bad... and after getting that nasty taste in your mouth all the time from biting your nails, you'll naturally stop because it wont be worth it.
Also, it's probably being caused by stress... which I'm noticing you've got quite a bit...

First problem: I'd say don't help her.
You've done wayy more than enough for her, if she's 20something she should grow up and take care of herself.
I think she's just whining for attention.
=/
At any rate, you've done wayy enough.
If you can't leave her, then just offer a shoulder and an ear.
That's all she needs, really.

Second problem: Sit down with your dad.
Get your stepmom out of the house or go to a restaurant or fastfood or even in the car, make sure you get some quality time with him.
Explain that you really really love Gus and you just cant' let him go, he's your best friend.

You can't really convince your stepmother. =/ SHe doesn't seem like the type that'd listen.
So make sureeee you hit home with your dad, so he can convince her.
:]
Goodlucks. <333

Biting nails?
I've never done that, so I have no idea.
xD;