Okay, so I had been in a relationship with this chick last year and she was 7 years older than me. When we were together, everything was great. We didn't have any problems. Didn't argue much at all. Laughed together, etc.

Anyway, she broke up with me saying she needed time to "figure herself out" and deal with some issues she'd buried for too long within herself.

I was hurt, but I said Okay and left her to it.
WELL, a couple of weeks later, she starts dating this chick who is 2 yrs. younger than me (19) and she's 28.

About a month ago, they decide to "commit" to each other (You can't legally marry in GA =/) !! They only dated for, like, 4 months before she basically wants to marry the chick. They're moving together and everything.

Anyway, this makes me feel so hurt. It makes me cry and I know that we're over. I don't fully understand why it makes me so upset, but it does. I just feel so deeply hurt?

Am I being ridiculous??
Any advice/comments?

I understand how you feel. I had a girlfriend that I was in love with too and she had a lot of mental problems and she said a lot of the same things when we broke up.. stuff that didn't make a lot of sense. And, she then started going out with someone else almost right away. Then she married the guy that year... it turned out that she just wanted his military benefits. It was a huge disappointment to me the way she behaved.

I think you are perfectly right to feel the way you do,and I don't blame you at all. It sounds like she gave you some dumb reasons for breaking up, but it sounds like it wasn't because of you, it was because of her. It also sounds like she is on the rebound with that young girl and maybe using the girl for some kind of an ego boost and just rushing into a committment. I doubt she is going to stay with the girl for long and it is really unfair that she couldn't be more reasonable and honest with you about the whole thing, and take your feelings into consideration.

You deserved more honesty and consideration and if that is the way she was going to be then you deserve better. It is going to hurt now, but over time it really does feel better and some day it will be to the point where you dont' give a damn anymore and you feel like you're better off. You never know what might happen, my ex gf came crawling back to me after a couple years but she was still wishy washy and weird and didn't give me the right kind of respect.. and now it's I who don't want to talk to *her*.

You're going to feel bette in time! Try and stay away from her as much as you can and avoid seeing them together. If you keep in touch keep your distance. That will also keep her from taking you for granted. She may start to rethink her decision and maybe start missing you and want you back but you never know.. don't hope for anything, but don't give up on love in general. Just keep talking to friends and give yourself time and be social when you want and stay to yourself when you need to. So with your ex I suggest the "hmph!" approach. She wants to be like that? Too bad for her then cause you're a great catch and she is missing out. Its hard when you can't figure out what's going on in their head and why things happened.. but whatever the reason, it wasn't your fault. Be sure to eat well and sleep well and don't blame yourself. If you did do anything you regret, make your apologies, and then dont' worry about it cause there's nothing more you can do.

Sorry if I went on too much but I really know what you are going through.. When I broke up with my ex gf, I wanted to stop listening to music we used to listen together but when I'm with friends I listened to it with them to put new memories over the songs. I also wanted to stop doing other stuff cause it reminded me of her, but, I went and did those things with my other friends and built new memories over it. :)

Thanks for the advice. Nice to know I'm not the only one. It really does help. :)

O...my gosh...This is like something that happened to me. I was totally in love with this girl,she will remain nameless, and we were together for awhile...and than bam! one day she breaks up with me and starts dating someone...it broke my heart.
And this was a little while ago.
And to this day I'm still in love with her. But I know how upset you are. You do have a right to be upset, but you know what? You do deserve something better in your life. So this is what you should do.
Throw her picture away, go out with some friends, have fun, meet someone new and better and enjoy life

Yeah, I'm trying to get past it. I've thrown away anything that was associated with us (pics, notes, etc.). Thanks :)

Welcome:) Its hard but you can do it>:)

Hey you're welcome :) It's cool you threw away her pics and stuff. It took me a long long time to throw away my ex gf's stuff. She made the breakup hard cause we stayed friends, but, she gave me a lot of mixed signals and she accepted my gifts and help and my love and knew how I felt about her. I would have done anything for her. Now I realize she was just depending on me and I was just enabling her to be dependent on others (everything she had was handed to her by people she coerced or guilted, including money from her mom and gramma). She liked my little son and wanted him as her own kid, and that's why she "let" me hang out with her. She was emotionally abusive, said mean things.. exploited my secrets, mocked me to others. She hit me too. I never thought before that I would let anyone do that to me (and I never have since). She confused me by flirting and kissing me and sharing a bed at times. We stopped speaking for a year, then another, it dragged out 4 years total. Then she moved away and I helped her pack!! I got over her. Now 3 years free of her hurting me. I'll never forgive her.. I'll never let her close again :)

I got carried away talking about my own problems. Sorry.. I don't know if it's helpful to you! yeah you're definitely not alone and I really admire your strength. I wish I had done like you, and just cut her off completely and let her go and moved past it and enjoyed life without worrying about her. You're doing the best possible thing for yourself :) and her too, cuz she lost a great catch! Congratulations for your strength :)

@ Covet-Wow. That's a lot of crap to go through. Sorry you had to experience that. Yeah, my ex would treat me like a doll in a way, kind of on a shelf, because she would brag about how smart I was and pretty I was to people, but wouldn't really let me contribute much to conversations between her and her friends and when I did say something, she'd treat me like a child, like she knew what she was talking about and I didn't. It was odd...Idk. But since she's basically married, I know I need to move past it. It was just hard to take those first big steps. But thanks for the support! :) Glad you were able to get over your ex too.

@salix-Yeah, I wish she'd just been honest with me, but some people are just cowards. But oh-well. Thanks for the encouragement :)

I know how you feel.

Not to make you feel bad, but it seems to me she just said that so she'd have an excuse to break up...

@ Rock Fan Chick- Yeah, I realized that more as I thought about it. She should've just been honest with me, but whatever. But thanks for the input :)

JennaDoll, sorry for the late reply but anyway, you know my ex did that to me too by treating me like a trophy (which she has done with all her boyfriends and girlfriends) and then bragging about us, then when I would talk she would look like she was a parent looking at a 3 year old's "amusing" speaking of their own minds.. ugh I am glad to be rid of her. how are you doing now, hopefully starting to feel better? you definitely deserve better :D

Covet- I'm doing much better! Thanks for asking :) I feel a lot better and don't really think about it anymore. I am currently dating someone and it's going well.
Thanks for all of the advice and support! It means a lot :D

All I'm going to say when I move to GA.
Let's burn a :insert the word for female dog here:

: DDD

Just kiddin'
<3

iPanduh-Lol. Sure..why not :D

*Sigh*...nah...better not...nice thought though...jk, jk.

Jenna, yay!!! Good. I'm glad you got closure and it's a closed chapter behind you, and you don't have to think or worry about it and you're moving on and dating someone nice. Life has better things to offer than bad memories <3 You're an inspiration to me cause it took me ages to get over my ex and others that hurt me.. but to get closure and move on and find happiness is the goal for me now. You're totally welcome for the advice and support. I'm glad to offer it any time. Yay I'm so happy for you!! :D This is awesome news. Also thanks for the updates and everything. So what's your new girlfriend like? That is so cool.

I haven't had a girlfriend in a long time and I miss it. Even if I do have a boyfriend now. (I'm bi, I forget if I mentioned that). I've known him for 10 years and we've always been close friends. He's always had a huge romantic inclination towards me, and flattered me with poetry, flowers, and romance. We dated for a few months, before he moved away to college (this was a few years ago). But the problem is that he lies compulsively, and he tends to screw around with other women on a very regular basis. Everyone he's ever dated since I knew him, he has cheated on. Including me. So why am I giving him another chance.. I really dunno. He feels like he is in heaven dating me, and I feel flattered, but I am also wary of the past and I am hoping he can prove that now he's grown up and gotten more responsible, he can stop the lying and prove his devotion. It will take a lot of time and actions, not words. If I can't trust him, it won't work out.. and after all I've been thru, I wear my heart in my ribcage and not on my sleeve.. so nobody can break it. I won't let him in until he's really proven himself, and it may never happen, so we may have to go back to just being friends!

Oh well.. the dramatic twists and turns of dating xD

Your not being ridiculous. I think you just love her so much that it almost hurts you a lot.
But remembers this, you have to move on. I know its hard to move on but try to. The world don't stop just because you are hurt. Time is running, that's why you have to find your own happiness as well. If you stuck your nose and whining about negative things. I think you are just wasting some times, where in, those time should be spend looking for the things for a new journey. I know somewhere out there, someone is waiting for you better than her.^_^ So Cheer up.

im glad you were able to resolve this in a very civil and mature way.

@Covet-Aw, thanks! I'm sure you'll find closure too. It just takes time. I wish you the best with it though :) Well, I have a new boyfriend actually, lol (I'm bi as well...don't think I mentioned it before). We went out before when I was 18, so it's been about 4 years ago. Anyway, he randomly contacted me again to apologize for the jerky things he said to me before. We were both younger and while our breakup was majorly bc of his immaturity, we both had things there. So, we went out to dinner to catch up and we ended up having a lot of fun just talking and laughing. My cheeks hurt afterward from smiling so much, lol. Anyway, he asked me out on another date and I went. I told him that I wanted to take things slowly. He said that was okay with him. We've been together for about 2 weeks now, so not that long. But so far things are going well! He has definitely matured a lot over the past few years, so we get along much better, lol.

Sorry to hear about your bf lying and cheating. That's terrible. You honestly deserve better than that! I understand you guys have known each other for a long time, but that's not right. Sounds like you're much better than he is. Maybe ending it and just being friends would be best? But I'm not going to tell you what to do. Either way, I hope things work out for you.

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@Jomairah-I wasn't trying to whine...I was just stating my situation. I have moved on though. I am seeing someone new and am happy so far. But thanks for the advice :)

@chong-Thanks! :D