There's no one where I live who can give me constructive criticism on my poetry. So, I thought, internet! And here I am, asking for some tips and some critiques on one of my poems. It's pretty recent but unedited, as most of my work is. Editing is something I need practice with, so I suppose that's a reason I'm here.
Be as harsh as you like; I'm a big girl :P


The waves are raucous. The harsh sound of
seashells and sand eroding reminds me that
the mindless gulf is unforgiving.
I wonder how long it would take to drown
and why I've never seen a body wash ashore.

The resort hotels stretch for the unattainable sky.
Like exaggerated stacks of animal pens
they stand, resolute
but not without fear.
I wonder how long it would take to fall
and why I've never seen a body flattened to pavement.

Sickness crawls through my solar plexus.
Doubled over in habit, cringing against the hurt,
waiting for the weight of the sea breeze
to blow it away.
I wonder how long it will take to die
and why I've never seen my body from
someone else's eyes.


It's not really one of my favorites but it's one that I'm sure could use some help. Thanks for helping me out :D

I prefer happier poetry, It makes me feel better about myself, If I was you, I would not do the dead ghost waiting anymore, I would do happy, love, and friendship.