Alright Menewshians, here's what's going down.

I'm an avid DnD player (Dungeons and Dragons) and while it's arguable that what I do isn't "real" DnD, that's a whole other debate.

The point is there's a large varying distance between my DM (Dungeon Master) and I, so quite often we resort to playing this game over MSN, because that's the only way we can get together on a consistent basis.

Now I'm heading off to College soon, and a very demanding program awaits me. To put it simply, I averaged out my time spent at school last year to being 10 hours a day, 6 days a week and this is the second, final and most demanding year of the program.

I may always have Sundays off, but it's Saturday or Sunday that my friend gets together with his other friends. Chances of us being online at the same time are slim to none throughout the year. I won't be getting time off during the week, and if for some freak of nature reason I do, he won't be online anyway because he doesn't get up until noon so he can get ready for work, and doesn't get back from work until 10:30 pm.

I have to be in bed at a decent time else-wise I'm cranky (using nice words about it XD) and again, my program is very physically and mentally demanding. A good night's rest is key for survival.

All this leads up to my problem. I'm online every night, nice and late, and every morning, nice and early, practically begging him to play this game with me so we can finish it off before school. No matter how I explain the situation, now matter how much I talk to him about it, he just doesn't seem to realize that I'm going to gone. GONE for eight months, and not only do I want to play, but I want to be able to talk and spend as much time with him and my other friends as possible. I'm a very home sick prone girl, I'm trying so hard to be civil about this but he's always "too tired" or "doesn't feel like it" or "busy writing other things".

I don't like being ignored, I don't think I'm asking too much for just these last couple of days before I'm gone, and I don't know what else I can do.

help?

If you keep really good game notes, it's fairly easy to pick back up where you left off, so a break isn't so bad, even for that long.

If you're concerned your group will continue to play without you, it might be best to arrange for your character to leave for some reason, and join again later when you're back from school. I recently did this in one of my campaigns--there was a ship crash and my character "disappeared," so my group doesn't even know if my character lived through the crash. If I decide to ever go back, I can make up a fun story about where she was, and if not, they can assume she died. In any case they don't get my stuff xD

But the campaign is almost over as it is. If we actually got down to it, we could finish it in the next few nights.

if you have the time and energy to finish it, by all means, do.

I do have the time and energy! But my DM doesn't. that's the problem!

Sad day, I wish something could be done about that. I'm sorry :(

Maybe you guys could skype, I have a friend in Denmark that I game with via skype. it's not as much fun as IRL, but at least you get to see each other and have fun.

T_T could you please actually read the whole thing before posting? I know it's a lot but I really don't like to repeat myself unless I have to.

I agree with pubesplz. It's just a game, stop getting so emotional over it.

I'm not being overly emotion, and in a sense it's not JUST the game aspect. The game is just something to focus on while we enjoy each other's company and now it's like he doesn't want to talk to me even. I'd be fine if we actually held a decent conversation instead but it's always the same crap and if I don't have a legit reason to pester him-like trying to get him to DnD with me, then... well I'm doing nothing but bothering him without a cause -_-

Alright. So, it's more of an issue of being unable to communicate.
I wouldn't consider it "bothering him without a cause". You're trying to maintain a friendship, and he's giving you nothing to work with. Maybe you should take a break from trying to get him to talk. Remember, friendship is a two way street. If he wants to talk to you, he should be making an effort to initiate conversation, too. Maybe you should talk to him about that.

x.x every time I try and make space, he doesn't really try to get back in touch with me... If I'm not talking to him, it's almost like he doesn't want to talk. We could go a month without a word to each other and he wouldn't notice. In fact, we have, and he didn't.

I hate to say it, but maybe he's not worth the effort. What's he like in person?

Originally Posted by Artifex

T_T could you please actually read the whole thing before posting? I know it's a lot but I really don't like to repeat myself unless I have to.

sorry, I was drunk when I read it. Depression makes me do that.

But it sounds like the dm is just being an asshole. He'll learn that you're going to be gone, and it might be has has no intention of even finishing the campaign, or maybe he just likes controlling people (a common malady among dm's).

It sounds like it's not really up to you unless you stop begging and start laying it out in black and white. Just be like 'either finish it or forget it'

He's really fun to hang out with and is that guy who can always make you laugh. He's kind of got an addictive personality, like everybody wants to know what he's thinking because it's probably gonna be some crazy twist on what you'd normally expect...

Yeah, kind of hard to describe, but he's always been able to make me feel better if I'm super depressed about stuff, and he's one of the few guys whom a girl can go "I'm pissed off/sad and I don't know wwhhhyyyy" and he'll just comfort ya, even if it's completely ridiculous.

well if you can be blunt with him, be blunt with him. It might be he's not wanting to accept the whole 'going away' thing becuase he likes to be around you so much and doesn't want you to go away. It's an immature reaction, but it's also very very common. it doesn't mean that he's immature, it just means that he's afraid he's going to miss you.

Well, I think you should just tell him you're tired of fighting to engage him in conversation, and he can contact you next time. If he's interested in your friendship, he will. If he's not, you've got other friends.

T_T I don't have that many other friends. Since moving to college last year and then coming back and forth and what not... the distance kind of shows you who your real friends are, and who really can't handle it. So my good friendships are kind of few and far between.

but if your friendships are true, they'll be able o take the heat. It sounds like you and he really need to have a serious tlak anyway.

hm... yeah... I suppose I'll figure something out if we talk about it. I just don't wanna end up having some sort of fight and losing everything right before school v.v I certainly don't need a reason not to focus and end up failing.

I understand and know that feeling. I've been there, but really, having no friends is better than having fake friends or abusive friends.
I honestly don't think that you'll lose anyone as a friend if you are honest with them. Things might get tense, but only someone who is petty an immature would throw away a good friendship like it sounds you guys' is.

... well I've already had one person throw away a good five year friendship over one misunderstanding that she simply did not want to talk about after a certain point... uhg... that was quite possibly the worst experience of my life. I really never want that to happen again. absolutely no closure, just... "never talk to me again" and that was it, I was cut off.

ouch, that's rough, but like I said, I've been there. Those are some of the worst possible words someone can say.
It's always hard when you have to be so careful and cautious with people. I think maybe you should just try to be as careful and delicate as possible, but also be direct, if that makes any sense.
I had to 'discuss' something like this with a friend of mine once; we didn't talk for three months after, but in the end it was worth it.
This part is always the worst; the not knowing, and the being afraid of how someone is going to react. But true friends always persevere, and it could be that there's an on campus D&d group you could get involved with to fill the void, or make new friends.
And if not, maybe you could start one :)

yeah, thanks for the advice. I'll see how this plays out I suppose.

Good luck.

thanks