I don't think its abusive. I think its punishment for the wrong, stupid or immature things kids and teenagers do.

Spanking can be good and bad it mostly depends on the environment and the reason.

There is the punishment type spank that is hard and intended to cause discomfort
and
There is the spank some people give their partners/pets. (Some people and animals find spanking to feel good)

As for the abusive part. It really depends HOW MANY times you hit them. 1 swat is like a "bad kid" type thing. 2-3 swats is for a more severe punishment. 4+ swats really is where it gets borderline abusive because it is now just the parent taking their anger out on the child. Typically after 2-3 spanks the kid is either not going to listen anyways, or listen for a while/change. Eventually even the thought of a spanking will make them dislike what they did and they will likely only need one swat to clarify something is wrong.

I use that spanking method on my pets. If they are fighting I swat them once. If, like when one of the cats punctured my skin intentionally and drew a lot of blood, she got multiple spanks because that is dangerous behavior.

If the kid is too young to understand anything but physical pain or fear? Absolutely not.

For an infant, a startle would probably be better - a loud noise, for instance. But a toddler who is still too young to associate no dessert with something they did several hours earlier in the day will respond better to a light swat, just enough to cause pain but not enough to leave a mark.

That's pain's entire purpose: To tell you that something is wrong. That includes certain behaviors.

However, several studies have shown that spanking kids leads them to be more violent. Which makes sense - how are you gonna teach a kid that hitting people is bad if, for all they see, you're hitting them just because they upset you? Do as I say, not as I do parenting styles are just plain crap. Kids learn by example.

So, my opinion is to cut the spankings as soon as they're old enough to associate loss of privileges, extra chores, time-outs, groundings, or other non-painful punishments with what they did wrong. I usually wouldn't consider it abuse...but I would consider it a bad idea.

However, if you're just spanking them because hitting them lets you take out your anger? I don't care if it does have a legitimate punishment side to it, you're an asshole and that case DOES qualify as abuse.

@ Stel - I would agree with that. Only for as long as needed, since other punishments like the loss of privileged are far better.
However if they are about to put themselves in danger a swat of their hand or something would likely be more appropriate if they were about to burn themselves on the stove.

One thing that got on my nerves as a kid though, is knowing what I did wrong. If you wait several hours and/or don't explain what the kid did... well... there wont be any progress...

Not only that, but sometimes if your kid's about to do something dangerous sometimes that's all you can do fast enough. That is a very good cause for exception.

My parents always explained to me when that was the case that they only did it because if they'd let me do it would have hurt a lot worse. As I found out for sure when I managed to successfully put my hand on the stove by accident. Oops.

And yes, I think a lot of parents take for granted how important explaining things is. It's easy to forget what it was like to be a kid - that you actually DIDN'T know everything you know now. That you actually AREN'T born knowing that it's A Bad Thing to take out your anger with another kid physically. That you actually aren't born believing anything is anyone's but yours, for that matter! Talking to your kids and explaining why the rules are there is a HUGELY important part of being a parent - and people just gloss over it like it's nothing. We should know ____ by nature. Sure.

Yeah, I remember hearing about a father that had to hit their kid's hand really hard away from a hot burner on the stove o.o

My parents always punished or grounded me saying "you know what you did" even though I had no clue o.o

Know by nature? The only thing babies are good at by nature is pooping... (which is another prime reason not to spank... cause if you spank em and they've gone recently... you're gonna have a bad time...)

Oh, that's not giving babies enough credit - we also know how to burp, spit-up, pee, sleep at all the worst hours, and cry, all by nature!

But really...if you avoid being a pushover, talk to your kids, and don't expect them to know everything right away, spanking should rarely if ever be necessary.