I just have to talk to somebody about this, it's really bugging me and I'm about to start bawling.

I went to Walmart today to pick up some things for supper. My husband works there as a department manager. Anyways I saw him out of the corner of my eye so I went over to pick on him. When I got to where he was, he saw another employee who was a woman and not me. He proceeded to walk around me to go talk to her instead of me. It hurt my feelings so much and I got that feeling of rage and betrayment in my gut. I then walked past them again, he was pretty much standing on top of this *ahem* woman and I then did this little annoying cough I do. I figured he'd hear me but heck no he didn't. I thought well pooey on this, and went to get more stuff. When I saw him by himself again, I confronted him and he acted like he knew nothing about it, "he didn't even see me".

Ever get ignored like that? How should I deal with this? I'm so heartbroken and disappointed. It's one thing to be ignored because he's busy working, (which has happened several times) but different because he talking to a coworker, who is a woman. Guess I should mention he does talk about the women out there quite a bit and there are handful he talks to pretty often.


Just wanted to say I edited the title because this will probably end up being a long lasting thread. I need a place to talk to somebody about the way he treats me sometimes.

did you hear what they where talking about?

maybe he had to tell her something about how she works that took up his thoughts on how to tell her?

like telling her shes not working well or something

it doesnt always mean pretty girl so thats why he is talking to her

i dont know

I heard something about overtime, "That's why I don't work overtime because then you end up taking a long lunch." How is that more important that saying at least hi to your wife? I'm pretty sure she talked to him first, he was busy scanning junk.

Maybe I'm just overreacting, but I just felt like he should have noticed me there at least the second time I walked by.

To be fair, you didn't say anything to him the first few times. He wasn't expecting to see you, so when he saw a woman out of the corner of his eye, he likely thought "just a customer" and didn't look to notice it was you. And I'm sure he doesn't look every single time someone in the store coughs - he'd never get anything done then. He was in work mode, and that doesn't involve paying attention to every person in the store. Or, think of it this way... When you're working or grocery shopping or doing anything else in public that demands your attention, do you look at everyone around you? It's probably more likely that you sort of notice that someone's there but don't really look at them. You've probably walked past a few people you knew without realizing it at some point or another.

If you're still convinced... what would even be his motivation for seeing you and choosing to act like he didn't? That wouldn't make sense to do.

Some jobs don't like when employees interact with friends or family. I've been places where you aren't supposed to react to family or friends differently than other customers because it shows favoritism or worse, dis-favoritism (is that even a word?).

I am sure it is nothing to be honest. For me, I see this as you guys had an arguement or fight and it was one of those "Oh, Fuck you." Situations out of anger, nothing more.

I could be wrong though ^^;; I am generally bad at judging men, I generally leave that to Knerd and Omi to do for me >,>;

He knew I was going to go out there.

Anyways we kissed and made up. I admit i'm baby and overprotective, but I just feel rejected when I see him talk to other women, I've always been that way. I just feel like he's my husband, why are these other women talking to him? I don't talk to other men like that. I dunno. Guess this is resolved.

it's a topic you could chat about in the 'IRL' forum, llonka
*hugs*
i think it is just typical llonkahusband behavior,
to be honest sweetie
*kicks llonkahusband's butt*

I also think you should talk to him about it, tell him that it really hurt your feelings that he preferred to pay more attention to the employee rather than to his wife first.
Let's give him the benefit of the doubt that he didn't notice how he was behaving (and it sounds like this is the case - it's not like he was talking to that woman behind your back, he was talking to her in front of you).
I think he was just being insensitive and an idiot.

Anyways... just talk to him, explain him why it hurt your feelings.

I did talk to him about and he seemed like he felt bad, but when I confronted him in the store, he blushed really bad. Like he knew he had done something wrong.

I don't know why it hurt my feelings so much but the conversation between me and him about this is over. If I bring it up again he'll just ignore me or get pissed that I won't leave it alone.

Maybe I just make things bigger than what they really are, or maybe I just want him to be more loving/proud of me. I see other couples and they always show off their spouse, as if they are super proud of them. He doesn't do that, sometimes I wonder if he's embarrassed. I always introduce him to my friends and people I know. I dunno, maybe i'm just making a big deal out of nothing.

first off, people rarely change.
if he has always been like this,
i think he will always be this way.
unless he is afraid he'll lose you unless he shows more affection.
i'm not a Public Desplayer of Affection, so PDA is kept to a bare minimum.
maybe he is that way, too, i don't like to defend llonkahusband, but it's a posibility?

I dunno he used to like PDA, maybe he was showing off then, but now thinks it isn't necessary?

maybe he's just complacent now
people get comfortable and LAZY!
remember how he has been raised.
i doubt he has ever been taught to pamper or show affection to his wife.
teach Kaleb and Jacob how to treat a lady and maybe llonkahusband will take a hint

Okay... your husband has tunnel vision...
So I see 2 problems, one for each person.

1. Your husband should pay attention to his surroundings more, so that he doesn't end up hurting someone without noticing.

2. He was at work, so perhaps he had things he needed to get done. He is a department manager, so he could have been busy or had a lot on his mind. They tend to end up with a lot of responsibility.

hummy- I'm trying, but they see how their dad acts sometimes and Jacob is more and more like him.

Poet- He'll even ignore his own mother and grandma. How sad is that? I understand when he's working and scanning things, but shootin the breeze? :/

Hmm... the fact he ignores just about anyone... it sounds like he just has a much bigger problem than just ignoring you.
What do you mean by "Shooting the breeze"?

"shooting the breeze" means talking about nothing of importance. like the woman he was talking to, they were talking about overtime and how he doesn't get overtime because the higher ups make you take a long lunch to get rid of the overtime.

how would he feel if you did the same with a fellow student?

He'd probably be pretty upset.

Wanna hear what he did to me this morning? I went to my parents' house to let their dogs out (he was still in bed, told him where i was going) and when I got back he was in standing in the kitchen. I just barely got into the house and he starts yelling at me "WHERE ARE ALL THE F***ING PENS!?! YOU KNOW I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE AT LEAST ONE UP HERE SO I CAN DO THE BILLS!" Really? He can't go and find one? He has a whole can full of them, even admitted to "having enough pens" but I'm in the wrong for him needing a pen and can't find one. I bought those pens to do my homework. I had to then give up my pen I was using last night for homework. What gives him the right to yell at me like that? I mean over a stupid pen! If he had any sense, he'd just go look for one and not worry about it. I don't think I "get onto" him for things like that. In fact the other day he was treating me like his child and said "i'm trying to better you" My reply was, why do I need to be bettered? Why can't he just accept me for who I am? Sure I'm forgetful or misplace things, but that's who I am and he needs to get over the idea that I should be perfect like his grandmother.

Sorry, he's just got me all worked up again, and now I can't concentrate enough to work on my college algebra homework. While at my parents I was thinking wow what a beautiful morning, then come home to all this anger and hostility over a dumb pen.

^ Is this a recent behavior of his, or was he acting disrespectful towards you all the time?
Because if it's recent and it's getting worse, I would've tried to have a serious talk with him. Perhaps he feels that he has the 'upper hand" because he's the one working and paying the bills and you don't? People tend to lose themselves sometimes because of such things

Maybe that is what it is. He thinks he is "better" than me because he has a job. He's always kind of been like that, but it's been getting worse. Well sometimes he's really hateful other times not. Just depends, I think what is going on at work. I feel like he brings a lot of his anger and frustration he has work home and takes it out on me.

I've talked to him about it plenty of times, but he either walks away or starts to talk about something else.

Originally Posted by llonka

"i'm trying to better you"

This is a big red flag. How you want to handle it is your choice, but to me that says that he does not see you as an equal. I've been in relationships before where the guy saw me as a dumb kid that he had to teach and improve, and that certainly didn't lead to him showing me respect or treating me nicely.

I understand that you're married (with kids? I'm not sure, so don't hit me if I'm wrong ), so things aren't as simple as saying "BYE!" I don't think the ignoring issue was necessarily a problem, but the two recent stories you've shared are pretty troubling, and I wouldn't suggest just letting this kind of behavior go. You're both adults, and he needs to treat you like one.

Yeah, we have two boys. We have been married for seven years. I dunno if this behavior is from working at Walmart or what. He used to be really nice and a great dad. Lately he's just been an asshole.

I asked him flat out tonight if he thought we are equal and he told me yes. Of course he would right?

yeah he was taught to feel superior to woman
he lied when he said yes
i would be crazy upset
he needs to see that he is showing/teaching jacob and caleb to treat women like a servant
because kids do as they see their parents
one day when llonkahusband is being loving and attentive llonka should let him know how she feels
explain how llonkafatherinlaw taught llonkahusband to feel superior to women and how llonkahusband is teaching jacob and caleb the very same thing
and how unhappy that makes you being treated that way
how you want jacob and caleb to love and honor and cherish their significant others!
and the pen dealio.....llonkahusband would have had one shoved in an undisclosed location!!!!!

I did tell him how I felt yesterday, I dunno if anything got through his thick skull. I've told him before that him and his dad are like that, and he just sits there.

I've been talking to the boys about being helpful, this is their house too, they can help me do things. So yesterday they were very helpful (while dad was sleeping on the couch no less) and picked up toys. Last night Jacob was like "look momma! i was helpful and made some ice for you!" :) I do know that Jacob is watching how his dad treats me because sometimes he'll talk to me the very damn same way.