Sure we've heard about people putting so much price over a girl's -supposedly- most precious possession: her virginity.

Heck in the olden days, if you slept with a girl that she wasn't supposed to be married even if it was consensual, it was considered rape!

And of course, we're also familiar with the whole 'virgins are way better'.

Or how only virgins are most preferred for sacrifices or as servants to the Lords and Ladies of the old religions. Surely you've heard about the priestesses of the Eternal Fire of the goddess Vesta. For short the Vestal Virgins? :D'

...Then the very strange but unproven instance in Memoirs in a Geisha (I myself don't even believe it) where an apprentice maiko's mizuage is auctioned. After which only does she become a full fledge geiko.

I'm more inclined to believe that happens in brothels and the like (Hehehe... I'm reminded by a movie in Hong Kong cinema where a courtesan was drugged while her virginity was being auctioned off) but not with the geisha. >_>; They sold their skills as icons of the floating world but were NOT whores. Okay. Back to the topic...

Anyway!

So there you have it!

A lot of fuss for the FEMALE virginity.

How about guys?

Why is there no fuss about them?

Is it not important or just as valuable?

...Discuss.

It's not a big fuss when it comes to guys. They are even encouraged to lose their virginity once they reach manhood. The more women they fuck, the more it makes them macho. Those who stay virgins are thought of as gay. It's part of the "Macho" culture, I guess. It's the other way around when it comes to girls. They can be labeled as sluts.

Another thing is that you couldn't really tell if a man is still a virgin or not. He can just lie that he is.

That sounds kind of sad.

It's like... 'Okay, so your reputation rises, you can tarnish mine boy. Let's go and fuck'

o_o

You can't tell if they're not virgin or not? You sure?

-blinks- There has gotta be a way of sorts...

Yup! That's the way it is in most societies.

You can tell if a woman is not a virgin when her hymen is broken though some have broken hymen even if they did not have sex. Some physical activities or accidents can break the hymen, I guess.

As for guys, I don't think there's a way of knowing.

I read something funny the other day.
1:I saw a virgin walking down the streets of NewYork!
2: Doubt it, do virgins even exist anymore?

And that does seem to be the state of things. I think I would prefer a man who was a virgin because I wouldn't have to worry about what his past girlfriends were like. But it's true that girls who sleep with men are sluts, and men who sleep with girls are "macho"

It's stupid, back in highschool my friends and I spent a lot of time talking about this same subject. In part we decided that it should be just as important, but there really isn't any way to tell with guys. I was younger than most of my friends growing up, so I had a different view than a lot of them...

Whoops, this is getting ranty, but I'll finish the thought. I think it should matter more for both sexes than it currently does, especially before they become adults. Teenage pregnancy would be a much smaller problem if guys could keep control of themselves:roll:
So no, it doesn't matter as much, nor is it as valuable, but it SHOULD be.

Honeybun, I think not just the hymen though. Cervical damage can also tell. Damage down there in the entry point I believe will also show. That's what people look at when girls get raped or not. I think there will be come lacerations.

Damn it, now I wish I knew some knowledge regarding vaginal damage. No matter how twisted that may sound. >_>;

attackat, So in your personal opinion, having a virgin bf is better than a non-virgin since you have to worry about the former girlfriends?

...Somehow I feel that seems a little worrisome a thought for me. Let's see:

1. Why are you worried about the former girlfriend? Is it the possibility of comparison?

2. But if we go by your argument that girls who sleep with men are sluts (you didn't even mention how frequent) would that make the former gfs and yourself possible one as well?

No offense intended. Just personal curiousity. I hold nothing against you and I don't even know you yet. XD;

What makes a woman a slut? (This is going to be OT in my opinion XD)

...I feel like asking a medical professional on the subject. I feel there has to be a way to know. But we know just know it.

Though so far, most of the instances of male virginity are heterosexual. Now if it were homosexual male virginity, I believe it can be checked. I think. XD;

Ranty is fine. It's alright. As long as you make sense. I can be ranty both in informal and formal debates. Plus it's awesome when I keep my straight face and intimidate while my opponent gets all nasty and angry already. I feel mean but I like that. XDDD;

So you feel that if men would keep to being virgins longer, teenage pregnancies can be avoided? Though that's half a truth since it takes two to tango after all...

Well, I'll start with the last statement. Your topic asks of Male virginity, not female, so in the mentioned instance it would be the male's fault :)

As far as past girlfriend I mean diseases...illegitimate children *lol* the like. And really, I suppose boyfriends as well...and those various one-night stands.

I don't think it should be considered slutty for girls to sleep with boys, no matter how frequent, because it's not society's business, but as long as I'm speaking of society, girls who sleep frequently with multiple boys are the "sluts" I guess. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slut <---That's interesting enough XD

Yes, I suppose homosexuals could be checked XD

I wouldn't consider myself a slut, due to my long lack of activity...forever that is. But I mean when you meet "the one" you would like to know if you can have children with them.

I just thought of something and promptly forgot it...if I remember I'll post XP

Haa... If it were only possible to go 'Okay, go give me a copy of your most recent check up and your family tree before we sleep together'. XDDDD;

I see... I see. Thank you for the personal insight. ^^

Feel free to post what you forgot about in the future once you do. It would be nice to read other things from people of course! <3

Sugar Mommy, my mom's a doctor but I am just too embarrassed to ask her about the subject. hehehehe

...Just ask anyway XD

No way! I don't talk to my mom about sex or virginity. My siblings do but I find it awkward.

I think the reason why the guys aren't so much thought of as girls is because you can't scientifically "tell" if he's a virgin or not. I think it's important for both male and female to save themselves before marriage, though it's not very common anymore =_= Stupid media putting ideas into people's heads! D<

Important or not? Depends on how you look at it.

If you're looking at it from a biological perspective, then no, it's not important. The same thing happens during a wet dream, so in effect, nothing changes at all.

If you're looking at it from a social perspective, it also depends on what society you're talking about. Most of them consider it a "coming of age" thing. You're not a man until you've had sex. It's as simple as that. Other societies (or factions, I guess) would consider it a loss of purity, just like it is considered for a woman. I'll give priesthood as an example.

Now, if you're looking at it from the man's point of view on his own emotions, a man will feel more confident, yet less innocent. There is a degree of purity lost between childhood and adulthood, and sex has something to do with it. It actually does affect men, but many are good at hiding it.

So yeah, it depends on how you look at it. Socially? Most likely. Emotionally? Definitely. Biologically? Not at all.

Well, back then it was that way because men thought it was all about them and they did whatever they wanted but expected different from women. And also, because they wanted to make sure their children were really theirs. If a woman had sex with someone and then got married to someone else not long after, she might give birth to a baby that was the first guy's, and not her husbands, and men didn't want that.

Now its different, and I think more than anything it's probably a jealousy issue on the part of the guys. They don't want to be compared to past boyfriends and stuff like that. Can't really say I blame them. As a girl, male virginity is actually important to me. I think a lot of people would think it silly of me to care, but I'm glad that my boyfriend was a virgin. We lost our virginities to each other, and that's important to me. I know I won't be compared to anyone else. I have no one else to be jealous over. And most importantly, I don't have to worry about icky things like STDs. So it makes me feel a lot safer to know there hasn't been anyone before me. Also, I like it that neither of us really know what we are doing. XD We're still sort of trying to figure out sex and it's very awkward for both of us. It would be very uncomfortable if one of us was more experienced than the other, and could be embarrassing. But since we're both not good at it, it doesn't matter. We can figure it out together.

I don't really mind if my boyfriend isn't a virgin... as long as he's not a town's bicycle. >_< I'd HATE to run into girls he slept with all the time when going out.

because a lot of guys are scared to admit if they are virgins, they think it's bad or something.. >.> and they lie about it so much we can't know when they are telling the truth. And there's no way to check if the guy is a virgin or not, girls have their hymen (even though that usually breaks before sex .. )... >.< just guessing.

@Sagitar. Well thats actually true in alot of cases. Usually to younger males though. But take me for instance. I'm male, 28 years old, and a virgin. I don't really give a darn who knows it. Most of my friends know and they have never given me a hard time about it. It's really an issue of maturity.

Okay, since you're openly 28 years old and a virgin, you're the perfect person to whom I can pose this question:

While you may not be getting a hard time from your friends, do you feel that the societal pressure on you to have sex is higher as you get older?

No I always have been sorta anti-social everything and defiant to the end. I'm me and the hell with what the world thinks is pretty much my way of life. Now by saying anti-social I don’t mean I’m a loner I’m just anti-society.

Actually what I am feeling pressure on is starting a family. I mean I am getting older and I do want to have a kid before I get to old. Again it’s not really a social thing (or an I‘m so horny I can‘t take it anymore kinda thing. lol) it’s just what I personally want.

Now I will say this I duno if I can be considered the perfect person for your question because I’ve been told every since I was young that I’m not like anyone else. And I’ve repeatedly been told I’m weird compared to everyone else because I am my own person and not another society created drone. So you might wanna try for a second opinion. lol

As it's already been stated: it's a very poor, stupid double standard of society. For whatever reason, if a girl loses her virginity before she's married, she's considered to be a "slut/whore" or "easy," but if a guy hasn't already lost his before he graduates high school, he's considered to be "gay" or a "pansy."

I do find it to be a rather silly double standard, simply because, with the way society translates it, a guy can only be "macho" if he sleeps with a "skank."

My personal view on it? Virginity isn't that important. As long as you're careful and just don't go throwing your body around like you're some sort of cheap and easy thrill, it shouldn't matter whether or not you're a virgin. I was a virgin until I turned 17 and while, in the grand scheme of things, that wasn't THAT long of a wait, it was longer than a lot of my other male friends managed to wait. =3

I dunno if this has already been said or anything, (and it could be sort of untrue... someone else told me this -____-) but both women and men have something like a "sexual prime" or something, where they sort of "crave" sex.. Men tend to start getting it when they're younger, like high school years. With girls, it's usually not till they're older. So that's why guys are considered to be "horn dogs" and tend to lose their virginity much younger than girls, I don't think it's just the social pressures aspect of it. >3> (although that definitely plays a HUGE part in it, undeniably). Anyway. That could be totally untrue but I think it makes sense.

And I would prefer a boyfriend who was a virgin... because if he was really proud of *not* being a virgin, who knows what kind of girls he might have slept with and what kind of STD's he could be spreading? x____x;; I mean, that is kind of extreme but still... the safest guy to sleep with is one who hasn't slept with anyone else. I learned that in health class two years ago. >3>

Yeah, Grim, you're probably one of the unique ones, in terms of being able to "push" against the pressure of just getting it over with, and not folding against the status quo and what they believe you should be or do. It's harder for the sort of guy who's sensitive to what everyone thinks and does feel compelled to lie just so he won't be labeled derogatorily.

Someone said, by the way, that it sucks that you can't tell if a guy's not a virgin anymore the same you do with girls. Yes, well, there are no obvious physical telltale signs, that's for sure, but if you're the observant sort of girl, you can suspect in some way if a guy's experienced sexually or not by verbal (what he says and how he says them) and non-verbal (body language) cues. Most specially when he's around girls.

This doesn't apply to all guys though. Some are tougher than others, some more subtle. I think the higher the emotional intelligence, the harder it is to tell. Okay am doing some amateurish psychology here :lol:

Well Kenric verbally is tricky because even though you haven't actually done the dead doesn't mean you can't talk about the subject. I mean I know way more than most of my sexually active friends simply because I'll pick up a book and learn something. That being said there are blatantly obvious immature novices that you can't really miss. So yeah.

Now according to several of my internet friends and other agree with them is that generally the first time is extremely ackward and usually sucks for the most part. So you would probably be able to tell more from experience as you said.

But I will say this. You might be right about body language and behavior. Guys have no idea I'm a virgin unless I say something and I don't go out of my way to bring it up but for some darn reason most girls I meet can tell some how. I have no idea how they just do. If I ask them how they know they just say "I duno I can just tell.". Drives me nuts. Not that they know just that they can tell lol.

See what I mean? :lol:. Luckily, I learnt about how female intuition works, firsthand, from a cousin of mine who's just so darn, err, intuitive about those things. It's almost like the male and female hormones talking to each other or something.

She did hint once that a guy virgin, more often than not, tends to "let go" a lot more than an experienced guy does, and thing is, it's something Mr. Virgin Boy can't control or even see himself sometimes. Sort of an involuntary thing. It's kinda hard to explain but I saw what she meant when we once met a friend of a friend and she pointed out to me a few things which made me go, hmm, I see what you mean :mrgreen:. Well hope that made sense.

Well I would like you to expand on "let go" a little better. I don't understand what you mean by that.