So, basically, for two years I've been wanting to foreign exchange. It has basically run my life thus far; I can barely sleep, I eat too much, I spend too much time online doing research, and I've even wrote a fanfiction with an exchange student in it.

I have such a deep fear that I won't be able to go; that my depression will hold me back or that I won't be able to get all the money in time. I'm currently 15 and the jobs I can work are limited.

Anyways, I guess what I really want to know is, is it normal to get this obsessed over foreign exchange? I mean... I was raised on English and Japanese (With a hint of Korean and Chinese too) so, culture has always been my love. I just want to know if... I'm taking it too far. >_<;; :sweat:

Well I can feel for you as I had my heart deeply set on that goal too, so when I first hit a wall it crushed my spirits and I felt the 'dream' was over. I think I wrapped myself emotionally too tight in this wonderful idea of living in Japan for a year, I didn't look at some of the other possibilities when things went wrong.

I think perhaps you should try to step back a step and set smaller goals, and have other expectations in case for whatever reason the plan falls through it doesn't feel like the 'end of the world'. When I mean plan changes, I mean keep in mind that life is ever changing and sometimes things happen you least expect.

When you say it's running your life, I tend to think you maybe taking it too far, but I think it's awesome that you have a goal your passionate about. You have to find a balance that makes you enjoy the present while working toward the future.
I think Izumi is right about about setting some smaller goals too, that way you can feel a sense of accomplishment along the way to the bigger goal.

I saved for three years to move to Seattle and had everything in place, then I went to Seattle, got a job and even signed a lease and suddenly everything went wrong. I wound up having to stay in the state I am for a while longer, so it's good think think of all possible outcomes and if you don't have the smaller goals achieved all you are left with is disappointment. I am better off for now with the economy sliding down hill, I have to consider that the last one hired is the first to be let go in a recession and a rent that's significantly higher than where I am now to pay.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, have your goal, it's an awesome one (I love to travel too) but don't let it consume you, work towards it while still having a life in the here and now.

It might be a fun trip and a personally enriching experience, but it seems like you're putting a - LOT - of expectations on this one thing, and it's clearly having a negative impact on your health. Calm down, step back, and realize that even if you won't be able to do it this year, or the next, the opportunity WILL be available eventually. For example, most accredited colleges have programs for students who want to study abroad for a semester or two, and if you have student loans, you may not need as much money as you might think upfront.

In the mean time, you need to sleep and eat normally. ^^

It's just so hard to put /this/ goal aside. I mean... you're only in high school once. Once I turn 18, I can foreign exchange but it won't be the same. I won't get to experience life as a child, under the rules of parents of a foreign place. I know that colleges offer exchanges but I don't think past high school you get host parents.

As for smaller goals, there really isn't anything else in my life that I aspire too. I guess the fact that I'm learning/ trying to learn Swedish and Finnish could be a goal. I guess I'm just... a dull person. ._.;; But, coming from a family like mine, the fact that I'm evening chasing a dream is amazing in itself.

Well, thank you guys... but... I don't really think that's the answer I'm looking for. I... just really wanted to know if it was weird. I... am stubborn and don't ever stop doing something until I'm ready or finished with it so, I don't see my idea of exchanging plummeting any time soon.

At Doomfishy>
But, you never EVER get your teenage years back. A teenage abroad program is very different from a college one.

Yeah, I am expecting a lot of it but... I've never really been places. I've never left my state, in fact, I barely have left town. And, I so badly want to experience the world and most importantly learn languages.

I know that if I end up doing it, it probably won't meet my standards...but still. There is no downside, really, to doing this; colleges look for stuff like this, learn how to operate in demanding and strange situations (especially when you don't know the language), learn a new language, make friends, learn a culture, get a different view of the world, and just give me a year to... explore.

I can't really explain the meaning of this unless you've wanted to exchange, at least, somewhat badly.

Originally Posted by RoxasSinClaire

At Doomfishy>
But, you never EVER get your teenage years back. A teenage abroad program is very different from a college one.

Yeah, I am expecting a lot of it but... I've never really been places. I've never left my state, in fact, I barely have left town. And, I so badly want to experience the world and most importantly learn languages.

I know that if I end up doing it, it probably won't meet my standards...but still. There is no downside, really, to doing this; colleges look for stuff like this, learn how to operate in demanding and strange situations (especially when you don't know the language), learn a new language, make friends, learn a culture, get a different view of the world, and just give me a year to... explore.

I can't really explain the meaning of this unless you've wanted to exchange, at least, somewhat badly.

It's normal to have something that you really want to do "while you're still young," and it's just as normal to not get the chance. That's just the way it is - money is stretched in a lot of families, most parents don't see eye to eye with their kids when it comes to their big dream, and sometimes it just doesn't work out.

What I'm saying is that when you get to college, you realize that you ARE still young, high school was not the be-all end-all of your youth (and, in fact, was actually not as important as you thought it was), and you have much, MUCH more freedom to pursue the things that you want.

It's good to set goals and have dreams, but I think you might be putting unnecessary pressure to have this one thing -exactly- how you want it, -exactly- when you want it, and life just rarely works out this way. At fifteen, you're still a growing kid, and you should try not to take up unhealthy habits in the pursuit of an obsession - although, honestly, this too is normal in the adolescent years.

At Doomfishy>

But my point is, I don't want freedom!
>_<;; I want to go to Sweden and feel what a Swedish kid under Swedish parents with Swedish rules (culture) has to go trhough. ._.;;

Thank you though.

And as for the money? It's all coming from me. My parents have fully agreed for the exchange, in fact... I have an interview soon. I just... need to get a job or solicit business or get scholarships.

And I'd rather be too obsessed than be like the rest of my family. They are lazy butts who never follow ANY of their dreams. My Mom HATES my dad and vise versa but they are too lazy to do anything. I REFUSE to be like them, I will grow above them. So... Really, I'd rather work too hard than not enough.

Honestly think of it like this. You wont die if you dont get to do this foreign exchange. I twont be the end of the world. So just sit back and relax when you can. Life is too short to worry too much over the things that you cant do anything about. Just do the best that you can. In the end that is all that matters.

Thank you guys but, I am not asking for advice. Honestly I wanted to know if this feeling was normal. THAT IS ALL! Please, I do not want you advice because if things were as easy as saying not to worry about it then I wouldn't be here, would I? Nothing you say will change my mind or feelings on this. I merely wanted an opinion, not advice.