I mean is this socially acceptable?. I did get that impression from another thread about
attraction based on skin color and race. Some people do care about racial purity/.

If it is suppose I write this on my dating ad:

Looking for pure bred white caucsin sp? person of northern European decent. People from other races need not apply.

I don't really care what race a potential date is, just throwing it out as an example.
I have spoken with people online who DO care and would never marry, date or have children with a person of a different race.

That extreme seems a bit racist to me, but at the same time you have preferences towards races as far as attractiveness goes too.

How is finding one skin colour more attractive than another racist, Claudia? That was talked about over and over in that thread. It's no different to me liking pink more than orange...

People shouldn't confuse personal preference with racism.

So if I say "no Asians" on my dating ad, then I'm not even being racist...it's just my personal preference.

Only you know that.

Depends on if you put "No chinese or blacks" because you hate them, or because you want an attractive man, and you don't really find their features appealing.

It's never okay to be racist, but having a preference is not a crime, because you're not making anyone less of a person or sending your hate around, just appreciating certain characteristics. Just because I like black doesn't mean I hate colors, or that because my favorite color is purple I'm being color-racist at yellow.

Well, there's not much of a point in dating someone who you dislike. Nobody's going to be happy that way. If you're a racist person, it actually seems beneficial to everyone else if you just stick with your own race when dating.
Even if it's considered racist to want only a pure blood white descendant of King X, that type of person is what's going to make you happy. Why in the world should you marry someone that doesn't make you happy?

I believe that there is a difference between preferring one set of physical characteristics, and only specifically looking at a specific set.

Say that I like the look of dark haired European boys. Yes, I find men like Viggo Mortensen attractive. But that doesn't mean that I only look at men like him. I give everyone an equal chance, I simply tend to gravitate towards a certain style. But unless I look at all the men out there, I'll never give myself the chance to potentially find an Asian or African man attractive.

If you are ruling people out because of their race and nothing else, than I believe that to have a bit of racism in it. You aren't looking at them as individuals. Because you must admit that people of the same background still look rather different from one another. There is always the chance that you will be attracted to someone that you never would have looked at unless you gave them a chance.

The only part that strikes me as particularly racist and not just preferential type is the word "pure", if it's just a matter of attraction then I think white is white.
I think it's stupid to limit oneself by going on what the package looks like, they may miss out on the love of their life who just happens to have a different ethnicity.

Why would you have to put something like that in your profile? Yes, it is perfectly acceptable to say, "I have never been attracted to men who were not *insert race here*," or "I've only ever been attracted to persons who were *insert race here*." But you can put that in your profile, and just ignore guys that don't fit the bill, or you can be open-minded and say, "I haven't experienced this yet, but I'm open to the possibility." I just don't understand why you would put something that personal in an open dating forum. All that's gonna do is get you spam from people who will automatically assume you're racist, no matter how you phrase it, and guys that want to "change you mind." (Speaking as a gay woman on the last bit. You wouldn't believe how many guys think they can "show me the light." *chuckles*)

In any case, no one really knows but you whether or not you are racist.

Personally, while I have preferences involving skin color and the like...they're not requirements at all. If someone of any race comes along and I like them, sure, I'll go out with them - I'm just more likely to be physically attracted to someone who looks a certain way, and that's what I saw in general in that thread you mentioned as well.

However, it's true that some people really do care about racial purity, and honestly...though I can't say I like those people at all, there's really nothing that can be done about it. I don't think it's okay, not in the least...but unfortunately there will always be people like that. Of course, if you just find a certain race's features unattractive...then hey, that's your problem; nothing really WRONG with it except the fact that it could make you pass up someone great - in which case, it's your loss. The only time I ever see it as wrong is if you're looking at one race specifically for the sake of racial purity.

I came to the conclusion that is is acceptable for people on a personal level. So if they are Asian and want purebred Asian kids...No problem, they limit their dating to these people..I used to think this was morally wrong.

Now I think it becomes wrong when they force their views on other people. When they shun people with mixed marriages as "bad people" or cut off family for marrying outside of their race.
I saw someone admit they refused to cut off their mixed race relatives and it was a flame fest on that place where people valued pure races. It was interesting for me to lurk seeing what a huge issue this was to these people.

In the meantime one of my northern European relatives has married and had children with someone right out of Africa. I never gave it another thought until I read this stuff.


KaiCalan, that's really funny how some people feel they can convince you to change your sexual orientation.
Hasn't happened to me yet, though not many people are interested in me in driving distance and I am hesitent to put my sexual orientation up on a dating site. Not many people attracted to asexuals.

Personal preference IS racism, if you prefer one race over the other. First of all, you are assuming one race looks a certain way, which is often false to begin with. Not all Asians have the same face or same skin, and the same is true for people of any race. "They're all the same" mentality is racist.

Whenever you generalize and judge people solely only a predetermined quality, you have already pre-formed your opinion of them, and that in its very essence is prejudice.

There is NO SUCH THING as pure-bred anything, besides pure bred HUMAN. A lot of race is social construct and has no biological basis.

A low opinion of dark skin is usually the result of years of imperialism and cultural dominance by white people, NOT because people just happen to think dark skin is ugly. More people will automatically say they prefer Caucasian qualities because that is just how they have been affected by centuries of history. Most people are not even aware of this impact, and have no basis for self analysis. They have no idea why they think certain things are attractive and falsely assume that they "just like white guys better."

This absence of critical thinking is very detrimental, and to dismiss this as just some personal preference is dismissing an important part of humanity.

I can't believe anyone here actually thinks there is a "just cuz" reason for people's low opinion on a specific skin color. You know, maybe in some very progressive place somewhere, there exists a person that finds something attractive, "just cuz." Until the day that racial equality is truly equalized, we should question everything instead of offering this complacent explanation.

Ohhkay then Gossy, I'm racist, was raised racist, and am proud of being racist. Even though there's a bit of everything in my blood ['cept asian], I don't like blacks. I asume they're called blacks because they have a skin color darker than overall latino people. Well, I don't find that attractive. It could be some kind of trauma since I've lived among latinos, chinese and blacks my whole life, so I end up finding gringos, europeans and japanese attractive. Or maybe because the majority of them blacks, latinos and chinese have a cultural background I dislike.

I'm still going with my philosophy though, that if I'm happy and it doesn't hurt anyone, then it's not bad.

I've always sort of thought this was interesting... and I've thought less of people who I've heard say, 'I wouldn't date a/n _____ person.' I don't think racism plays a huge role in this choice though. I mean, when you start talking about 'purity' like you're trying to breed a damned stallion, perhaps, but in general I think a lot of people, whether they'll admit it or not, have racial preferences that go hand in hand with other physical preferences. Everyone has their 'type'.

I would draw the line at 'I'm not looking for a black guy' vs 'I would not date a black guy'.

It's not racist to not really consider a certain race, but I think it is a bit racist to refuse them for the sole reason that they are a different race. Having a preference makes sense, everyone has their type, and some stereo types do hold consistent. A lot of black men in my area for example, (A generalization and location specific), are 'gangsta'. They swear and degrade women, wear their pants around their knees, and they don't seem very bright. Of course there are a few black guys I know that are totally different, but most of the black men at my school follow this stereotype to a T. And that... that just isn't what I'm looking for, so I probably wouldn't aim for a black guy, given what that tends to imply when it comes to the area I live in.

However I don't believe this is racist because if one of those particular men asked me, I'm not turning them down because they're black, it would be because they swear, dress stupid, are stupid, or degrade women. If a black man with nice clothes, some manners, and some things in common with me asked me out, I wouldn't turn them down because they're skin happens to be darker than mine.

I guess the level of 'racism' depends on the true issue, are you turning them down on the race, or the things that tend to go with the race?

Of course, I'm not saying all black men are gangsters, or that all of any race is anything, I'm not that narrow minded, I promise. All I'm saying is that generalizations are common, and especially in highschool, people tend to follow stereotypes. I am quite aware that people are people no matter their race, but race often holds true to culture, and not all cultures are perfectly compatible with each other. A lot of people will say they aren't interested in a specific race based on the generalizations that go with it, but I don't think this is being racist unless they truly fail to realize that not all people follow a cookie cutter mold.

As a final note,don't call me a racist. Just don't. I don't believe any race is superior, I don't judge by skin color, I judge by actions and habits, and on some level, such as clothing choice and changeable aspects, appearance. Just because I don't want to date someone doesn't mean I hate them.

I think I am a bit racist when It comes to dating, I usually don't care but I don't think I'd date a Indian or other middle easterns. Black.. I'm not sure.

Not saying it's good or bad.... I do think that people being honest about what they're attracted to saves a lot of people from wasting time with someone that can not and will not love them because they are of a different race. I'd rather not waste my time and energy on a complete asshole and get my heart ripped out...

It's your life and your happiness. When it comes down to it, you don't pick someone based on a checklist of physical attributes. At least, I hope you don't. You pick a person that you love and who works for you. Does marrying someone make you racist against every race that he/she is not? No. Does being heterosexual make you homophobic? Not necessarily.

Frankly, I think that much of this racist hysteria is overblown. And when it creeps into your bedroom, it has definitely crossed a line. You date the person you want to date, and marry the person you want to marry. You have a right to reject any person for any reason.

Wow, this seems to be a very mixed topic.

People will always be 'racial' when looking for their 'best friend' because, although you must be mentally attracted to their personallity. You must also be physically attracted to the person.

Not necessarily. Sometimes only physical or mental attraction matters. It's usually good to have both, physical for short-term relationships, or mental for long-term relationships.

Well, it really depends on the person as well, I guess.

But the thing is, I think that you have the right to decide for yourself whom to marry. I mean, you can say that white is "pure", or white is white, but it's just two different perspectives.

You could say I'm "pure", but that's only because my parents are first-generation immigrants from a society that has little or no foreigner integration.

Sometimes, it does bother me a bit, but I think, "Why does it bother me? What if I were them? How would I feel to be forced away from my love?" So I think, just let 'em be happy. :3

The thing is, if only non-random mating (people did not choose whom they wanted to love) occurred, evolution would not occur. :\

As long as you are open about it I would think it is okay. It's your own personally preference. I mean as long as you aren't hating people of that race. If you just don't feel comfortable dating someone of that race I see nothing wrong with it. However, If you did disregard race, you'd have more of a chance of finding someone you really like. I personally don't date by race.

The point is, I think that people should be loved for being people, not because they're some certain appearance or culture (and that they shouldn't be not loved based on the same reasons...)

Of course, I mean, you can believe what you want, but let others believe what they want, too...it's basically like gay marriage, in my opinion. Everyone's titled to their own choices, but they shouldn't discriminate against people based on first impressions like sexuality or culture.

Note that I don't use the word "race". Why? We're all people, here. :3

There is nothing wrong with being attracted to a skin color more than the other.
It's like being attracted to blondes and not brunettes.

Being racist is something entirely different.

Well, being racist is valuing a race more than others, so if you value people of a certain race more than others, then it's not good either way.

In example, someone might want to marry a white wife. So, the person is not important, over the skin color or ethnicity. That's just absurd.

Marry the person for the person, not for his or her body.

some people are still extremly prudish, and racist.. to each there own.
My father was the same.. "never bring home a black guy, they beat there women. dont marry an asian mad, there dogs get treated better than there women.. the only right men out there are british or irish. something white." well i do not care what race they are. i decide by there person ality. my boyfriend who i have know for almsot 4 years now. dating at distance 3 1/2 years dating officially and liveing with for 6 months now is half black and im half irish half spanish (my mother is half and half and surprizing ly so is my biological father). my dad is not too happy but it doesnt matter cause i love him.. and the truth is any one from any race can be a bad match or not treat a woman right.. i feel it is mean to discriminate when it comes to dating... and some other things... but again to each there own...