Huge wall text... Will anyone read it?
This is about me and my boyfriend. We're together since October 2007.
We've had ups and downs, but everyone has them, right? But lately he's been more incisive with what he doesn't like about me. He said over the phone last wednesday: either you change the way you act towards those things or I don't want to be your boyfriend anymore.

Those are some of his "demands":
He wants me to go over his home more often. I don't like going there mainly because when I need to come back to my place. If I stay until the time of the day he wants me to, I can't come back alone. I live in a big South American city and it's dangereous out there for a 21 year old girl. He's even concerned about his older sister, saying she's afraid of getting raped by one of the drug users there are not far from his house. His mother/older sister can drive me back home, but only at the time they're available. Sometimes this happens past midnight, which upsets me and my parents, which's more important.
Another reason that makes me not want to go there is his family. They're always screaming,fighting at each other, cursing, being sarcastic with me, annoying me on purpose because it's "cute", his mother treats their dog on a way I strongly disapprove. I feel bad at his home. Really bad.
His sister always complains about the way I dress up. And he supports her. I know I don't dress up as most of people expect someone my age do, but I'm comfortable and happy the way I am. And he makes it a big deal. "You don't want to look good for me?", as if I don't put any effort in it.

He also wants me to take our relationship more seriously. I admit I don't help much with it. Many times he tries to talk about something other than what we usually do and I deflect. I always try to make up a funny thing to say to break the ice and go back to day-to-day talk and I can understand he's tired of this. It must be annoying. It is a flaw I have, but I made a big improvement on that point since we started dating. I rarely talk about my emotions to anyone, but I could enter a bit on this subject with him. Apparently it isn't enough.
When he said about taking it more seriously, he also stated that, in order to make advance he wants us to have sex. I do not want this yet. I feel really unconfortable even discussing it. He's respected my option so far, but it seems he won't wait any longer.

But what hurt me was the message he left on msn while I was offline. "I want to make it very clear, I only did this to make you change. I know you wouldn't change from night to day, that's why I did it... I want you, 2 weeks from now, to answer to this question: will you be more serious about our relationship? Will you argue with me about your problems and with your parents when my parents want you to go out with me? I don't want to make this separation definitive , so don't make it that way. But it all depends on what you'll answer me two weeks from now. And I don't want a simple 'yes', be warned... I sound like a jailor talking like this to whom I love so much... but I feel you would never change unless I did that. Hope this is not a good bye. Good night."

He expects me to change in those two weeks. But I know I won't. And if I do, it'll last for a month or less. And we'll be through this all over again. I don't want him to go away from my life like that. I like him very much, but he wants more I can give him. I really don't want to disappoint him, that's why I'm thinking of letting him go. Maybe it's better to put he thorugh this now and save him from a greater pain in the future.

Any word of advice?

Oh girl, definitely let him go and don't think twice about it. Loving you means loving YOU, not loving an idea of who he wants you to be. Of course every couple has their ups and downs, but demanding that you put yourself in danger, make serious changes to your personality, AND lose your virginity to him is not okay. You don't need to have sex to move forward in your relationship. Plenty of people wait until after they get married! And, while that is not the route I went, I did wait and say no many times until I found the right person. I actually found that people respected me for waiting. If your boyfriend cannot respect you enough to love you as you are, he's not worth your time.

I couldn't say it better than the post above me.

If you're not with someone who loves you for who you are, then what's the point? While it may be hard to let him go, and out of your life, it's probably for the better. He shouldn't be pressuring you to do things that you don't feel safe or comfortable doing. It's not right.
You should leave him, and wait for a guy who WILL respect your wishes, and who WILL love you the way you are. Someone who wont pressure you to change yourself, or do things you don't want to do. You'll be much happier with someone like that, I am certain.

Honey drop him. One he admitted to trying to change you, that alone I would leave him for. If your happy with who you are, how can he say differently? It shouldn't matter to him.
I sometimes feel awkward at my boyfriends place, cuzz I have a bad habit of dressing up to much, and they're so casual.
To expect so much from you, he can't possibly love you. The only redeeming quality I saw in what you told us, is that he respects you on the sex issue, but for how long.
Leave him. Tell him to find a different girl to change, cause you are who you are.

He obviously isn't happy with you for YOU. Nobody can change your personality, only you can, and only to an extent. If he doesn't like the way you are, then he doesn't like you at all on the inside.

My advice, don't just change your way of thinking to fit his benefit, do whatever makes YOU happy. If you don't want to go to his house because his chaotic family bothers you, don't. I you don't want to have sex with him just yet, don't. It's that simple. And if he has a problem with this behavior, then he can find someone else. It is probably hard to just let go of this person that you seem to care about alot, but honestly, you deserve someone who will be happy with your opinions and not want to change them. Especially in a time period of two weeks, what bull. I have an ex, that when we were dating, I couldn't stand his personality. I spent months trying to change him, not knowing that it was how he just was, and it did nothing. In the end I just broke up with him and I was never happier in my whole life. My point is, just do what you want and if he doesn't like it he can leave. It might be better for him as well as you if you split up. Good luck and feel better :)

leave him!! if you cant decide what to do that means you need to leave him. if you dont know off hand when someone asks you, then its not worth it and probably never was. if a man cant except you for who you are and doesn't want you for your goods and bads whatever they may be then hes not worth your time. move on sweety and dont look back!!!

Let him go. You are not happy in the relationship. If you are not willing to give more at this point and he cant respect that then it might be best to let go. Maybe with some time apart you can discover what you really want from him and with him. Just be kind about it. There are going to be hard feelings enough.