Don't kill me because I created a new thread, This one is different. Kind of the Same problem kind of, Just. Worse? T_T

Hi there! I'm Atta, and I'm sorry if I sound a little off at the moment, But. I just found out I'm pregnant today, And I also found out that my dad doesn't care. I'm also trying to figure out if I should let the bloody thing live, and ruin my body, or possibly kill myself, Or if I should kill the tiny thing, and have everyone that know's about it hate me forever! :)
Yay. I absolutely love my life at the moment.


Oh, Yay. This has to be The best day of my life so far. :sarcasm:

I'm not here to be judged, or asked questions. I'm here for help really. I just want to know what you think I should do?
My friends keep telling me It's all my fault, That they don't care if I die or ruin myself, and I should atleast give the little thing a chance at life. T_T

By the way, I don't think the doctor-lady-person-thing liked the fact that I walked straight in, found out, then automatically said 'Abort. Abort. Abort.'

She went on, and on, and on about how many other people were so fucking eager to have a kid that they'd be happy to watch a Thirteen year old girl go through with a pregnancy, and the pain of birth, Just so they can snatch the kid up as soon as it's out and run off like a happy family! Making the kid think that it's actually their kid! Raising him/her to never know who their fucking mother was, and making me go through all that, just to run off and act like I never existed! =D
Oh. I absolutely love the world right now.


I need help before I go crazy ^^'
I have a feeling I've started already.

Just, Tell me what you think would be good for me to do?
I would love to get rid of the poor thing, But. So many people are pressuring me into keeping it, and I don't want them to hate me... D:

Are you only 13? If that is the case, I'll be cynical, and doubt that you'll be able to give the child what it needs. You are still a child, yourself.

Carrying a baby at 13 is also dangerous. You are very young and your body is not fully matured. Maybe abortion would be for the best, for you. If you are very morally opposed to having an abortion done, however, and prepared to go through with a pregnancy, you could always put the child up for adoption. Don't think of it as someone snatching your baby, but more like someone providing for your baby what you cannot, and you giving them a gift that will last forever. People who adopt may not be able to have children themselves.

You have to stop worrying about what others think/say/do, and listen to your own needs and thoughts. Remember, also, that people probably wont hate you forever, if you make a good and well-considered decision. It is, after all, none of their business.

I know, I'm dying inside thinking about this. It already has a heart-beat, it's like. Murder..
But, I don't want to have to go through with it, but. I also don't want to kill the poor thing before it even takes it's first breath...

I'm really mixed up with my feelings on this, It's. Hard...

Originally Posted by Atta

I know, I'm dying inside thinking about this. It already has a heart-beat, it's like. Murder..
But, I don't want to have to go through with it, but. I also don't want to kill the poor thing before it even takes it's first breath...

I'm really mixed up with my feelings on this, It's. Hard...

You'd want to kill it after? Honestly, you have to be pragmatic about these things. You can't really think of it as a living thing. You have to think about it as a potential hindrance to your life. Animal instinct, etc. Do not listen to the fools who'll tell you it's murder, they honestly have no regard for the fact that you have to be able to live too. And consider the quality of life you would have to offer this child? You have no schooling to speak of, no means of supporting it or yourself, etc.

Personally, I would never have an abortion. But I've also been near hysterical with being safe when it comes to sex. And my parents are well off, so if I did have a child, I'd have their backing. Now I'm soon 22, and would be able to support myself and the child both, and I have a fiance, so we'd provide a stable platform for a family. I think, sometimes, it has become too easy to have an abortion these days.. But, considering your situation, I would say it's an alternative you have to consider, for your own sake. -- Remember, you have to grow up too, get an education, get a decent job. And with a baby on top of it all, that would be extremely challenging to do. Are you ready for it?

I think, seeing you so opposed to abortion, you should consider the option for placing it up for adoption. Do some research.

How far along are you?

If you want to abort, I recommend that's what you do. From your other thread and this thread, it sounds like your friends aren't very supportive anyway. It really is common to abort at your age, your body isn't ready to have a baby. It actually may be dangerous to do so. If you're going to abort though, you need to do it as soon as possible.

If you're not going to abort, I recommend adopting the baby out. I would hate to see you drop out of school so young and it doesn't sound like your parents are the kind of nurturing caretakers you could trust your baby to, even if they agreed to it.

If you are feeling like you don't want to have sex anymore, use this as a reason. It's a good reason and anyone who can't understand isn't worth your time.

Please, if you aren't going to stop having sex, get access to condoms and birth control. I'm sure I don't have to tell you at this point that the consequences of unprotected sex are real. It sounds like you're already talking to a gynecologist, ask her about it.

Where I live, I don't think abortion would be seen as too big of a deal, and if I were in your situation, I would probably get the abortion.
You said people would hate you for it, it sounds like they are more against abortions where you live. Its YOUR descision, don't listen to people who are against you, they wouldn't understand. It's your life. It sounds like your not wanting to keep it for yourself, or to go through the pregnancy and put it up for adoption, so the other option would to have an abortion. This was a mistake and you should learn from it, but you have the chance to stop it from happening.
The baby is in early development, it's not started it's life yet really and there are many people in the world getting abortions. Please don't make yourself suffer for feeling guilty.
If you did want to have an abortion you have to do it before a certain number of weeks. I don't know what it is for you, but don't leave it too late if thats what you want to do.

If you went through the pregnancy and had the baby and put it up for adoption, someone/a couple will be very happy as they might not be able to have a baby themselves. The child might be unhappy not knowing their real parents, but they will have a better living foundation than you can provide.

I agree 100% with Stormlick and juniper_silver.
I don't think your "friends" are at all fit to decide what you should do. Aren't they the ones who pressured you to have sex in the first place? It probably wouldn't be a loss if they hated you for having an abortion, if that's what you want to do. Your body might be physically ready to have a baby, but that is only a tiny part of having a child. Kids require a lot of time and resources that a thirteen-year-old simply cannot provide for alone.

I fully agree with all the others about how this is your decision alone. This is your body, and you have every right to be "selfish" when it comes to risking your own health - and that is especially true at this young age.

But the fact that you feel sympathy (and maybe the first bit of motherly feelings?) for the small thing also means that an abortion won't be easy on you. It's not like you go in there, get rid of it and then just walk out like nothing ever happened. There will be both physical and psychological consequences.
(If you're suggested/offered counseling, take it!)

So thinking about it for a couple of days might really be a good advice (though, follow Juniper's advice and don't wait too long), but just don't let others make the decision for you. Listen to them, of course, but you're the one who has to make a choice in the end. Those who will stay with you, no matter what you're going to do, are the only ones worth calling friends. Forget about the others.

And then, no matter what you decide on, be at peace with your decision. If you decide that abortion is the right thing to do (you don't endanger your own health and might even save the little thing a life as "unwanted child"), or rather want to go for the adoption (you make a childless couple happy and for all we know your child might lead a happy life with them) - it's always the right decision.

You can't do anything wrong here, as long as you follow your own heart and reasoning!

I would say you need to find a group of people going through the same thing you are experiencing. You are not alone, although at this very moment you most likely feel so alienated and terrified.

Whether to terminate or not is a very hard and scary decision, don't let anyone tell you it is an easy one. If you teminate, and there can be many good reasons to do so, you will still feel guilt. You are human and you will feel it. But if this is your decision then go for it but understand you will never forget.

If you decide to keep the child...again the road ahead is going to be hell on wheels. An unwed teenage mother has many roadblocks. If you have family support it is much easier.

If you decide to give the child away...sigh...you will still have memories. Listen those other people, the childless ones, are going through their own hell. And many of them feel they can't go on without a child to love and nourish. Many will not want the Birth mother in the picture ever, however, there are a rare few that do allow the birth mother into their lives.

None of the options are guilt or pain free. These are the things you must decide.
Can I carry the child to term without endangering my life?
Can I raise a child and give them a good life?
Does the father know and want input?
Can I give my child away and never look back?
Can I abort and go on with my life to become a bit wiser and better prepare to have a family when I am more able?

Whatever decision you make is yours and yours alone to make. I wish I could be there to give you a hug and encourage you. You need to hug yourself and remember you are human, be gentle with yourself.

I say abort it.

Seriously.
Think of how many people are born EACH DAY. The Earth is becoming overpopulated because more people are being born than dying.
*SHOT* (it's true, but not the point)

At 13, your body is not fully developed, but it is close to maturity. It's kind of dangerous to have a baby now, and given the circumstances, you don't have education, you can't support yourself, much less a baby, and your friends are trying to push you to have the baby. Some friends they are.. not to bash your friends or anything, but a true friend would understand if you want to abort a child that is an accident.

Scientifically, the freshly fertilized egg is called a 'fertilized ovum'. That's not really correct, I think it might be called a zygote around this time because it fulfills 4 things needed for life: metabolism, growth, reaction to stimuli, and reproduction.
Some time after it is considered an embryo.

At 10-13 weeks, it is considered a fetus :]

(I got that stuff from http://www.religioustolerance.org/abo_fetu.htm, and what I remembered from health class)

So, from what I just scraped up to tell you, you can use that to consider.. you know. abortion, keeping it, morals, ect

I would say abort it as well--for health reasons and the fact that it really doesn't sound like you/your parents can take care of it quite yet.

But if you really don't want to do it, then consider giving it up for adoption. Definitely think about it (which I'm sure that you are) if you feel divided on the issue (want to abort, don't want to abort, etc.). It's not your friends/relatives who'll have to carry this baby for nine months, nor is it the doctor that you spoke with today. If she continues to carry on like that, then maybe try to find a way to a more supportive doctor--at least while dealing with this pregnancy.

Good luck. <3

If you want to abort, then abort.

It is YOUR choice, and no one else's. Don't listen to your friends; they are not the ones who are giving their lives up for a baby. Remember, if you decide to follow through with your pregnancy you are sacrificing a lot for this baby. Being a teenage mother is not an easy thing... you'll probably have to quit school, try to find a job, etc. The outcome of your life is a much bigger deal than your friends (who don't sound like friends at all, from what I'm reading, anyway...) hating you. You can make different friends, you can go to a different school where no one knows what happened, but you can't just get rid of the baby once you decide to keep it.

Don't let them pressure you into feeling bad about aborting, either. If you think it's right and the best thing to do, don't let them change your mind. And if you DO decide to go through with an abortion, I strongly recommend you distance yourself from these people for a little while. It's not an easy experience, and having someone make you doubt your decision isn't going to make your life easier.

some friends you have! jerks, if you want to abort, abort! it's your decision, not their's! i think you should abort. but i can see your point about not wanting to abort, but your parents arn't exactly the loving, nurturing people a baby would need. hey, is it possible to get a c-section by choice? i'm curious, because if you can, i think you should do that. you won't have to go through regular child birth, and the baby would live! but if you can't, this could be dangerous! well, it could be dangerous anyways, because your like, my age! but if you decide to go through with it, you should give the baby up for adoption for sure. that way the baby will go to a loving home to kind people. whatever you choose, don't choose it just because somebody tried to pressure you into it. who's the fauther, anyway? i think he should have a say in this. choose what you want to do, and not what your friends want you to do. by the way, your parents sound like total jerks! what person dosn't care that his daughter is pregnant?! sick. my mom had a friend who was 12 and got pregnant. she had the baby and kept it, i think. but you should probably abort. or, have the baby and put it up for adoption. whatever you choose, choose it because you want it.

I'd just like to say that adoption is always an option. Yes it sucks that you're pregnant at such a young age! But...as a child of an adoption I'm glad that my birth mother gave me the option to live.

But I can't force you to decide one way or another. This is something that only you and your parents can really decide. Think about how it will affect you. But also consider giving it up for adoption. It's always an option.

Do you think I should learn a bit more about adoption, and birth, and all the complicated stuff before I choose? I feel... Like. I'm in love with it already O.o'
I know, This seems strange but, Like. I can't help but talk to my tummy... even when I'm not thinking about it, it just seems to happen....
I'm growing quite fond of the little thing even though it's like, Yeah...

But. I can't seem to get my feelings straight about this! D=
It's killing me, One minute I don't want it, Then I do, Then I want to just give the baby to adoption , Then I don't want to even go through with it. I actully got half-way down to the clinic today after school, Then I started thinking and just hopped off the bus and walked home... I live like two hours away from where I was, and it took even longer because I got hungry, Then I couldn't eat because I couldn't stop thinking, Then I just sat there and stared into space....

I haven't gotten any sleep either, and I just can't seem to do anything right at the moment...
I'm just.... Confused? Alot....
I don't know.......

Definitely.
It sounds like you're not totally sure of your decision, so looking at adoption isn't the worst idea. You don't lose anything by at least looking into the prospects of adoption.

You need to be 100% sure of your choice before you decide, or you'll regret it. Weigh the pros and cons of each and every one- make a list, if that type of thing will help you- and decide what is best for you. If you don't think you can go through with abortion, you can start trying to find someone who will adopt your child. Keeping it is also an option, but it's a HUGE responsibility and very few people your age are really prepared to handle it.

But it's something you need to think long and hard about before you do anything. And remember, your friends' opinions don't matter; only yours does.

There's nothing much to add to Fabby's advice, other than to get a thorough checkup. Knowing the risks to your own body can be an important fact to base your decision on. If you happen to already be fit to handle a birth it might even be easier on your body to go through with it.

(And I just wanted to say: I know this is making it even harder for you, but I really think that it's a good sign that you're starting to feel this way. It both shows that you'll develop into a caring grown-up and will help you learn from this situation, no matter what you'll decide on.)

Going by your first post ( haven't read the whole thread yet), I think you need to find yourself better advice.
People pressuring you not have an abortion has got to make the decision harder.
You need advice from someone who will be neutral and can advise you on different options.
Do you have a planned parenthood you can go to?.

If you don't want to abort it, maybe you can look for someone that wants a baby but can't have one (Like a gay couple or some lady with a bad ovary)? A lot of people do this and the adoptive parents will often pay for the medical bills.

i like Xrabbite's idea. if you give the baby to a couple that can't have one, it will all work out! but it's still your decision.

Atta, I'm really impressed that you're putting serious thought into it. I'm hoping you've discussed this with a medical professional. They'd be better able to help you understand your options, what changes your body will go through, and keep you as healthy as possible throughout. There may be some issues and possible solutions that haven't even occurred to you yet.

I'm really distressed that your dad doesn't care. You're really going to need a caring, supportive adult to help you get through this.

And tell your friends to put a sock in it. Even if, and I hope they haven't, been in a similar situation, this is an extremely personal, individual choice. You have to look deep inside yourself and be painfully realistic. That's hard enough to do without all the so-called help your friends are giving.

However most people may say abort, as your body isn't fully developed.... there's the option of a C section, which they cut the baby out and then stitch you back up, that way it's removed differently.

If you ask a doctor about it I'm sure they could give you a lot of info on it.

As for aborting, if you do, you're basically saying that you are willing to end the life of someone who is coming into this world because YOU got pregnant, I'm sorry if this sounds rude, but because it is, unless by rape of some sort, you have the responsibility to go through with it. Pleasure from intercourse comes with a consequence. It's called a baby.

Right now I recommend you have the kid, as it is as it seems your fault you are pregnant, and remain abstinent until you are truly capable of raising one.

I'm sorry if what I say is harsh, but I hope you think about it.

I had a check-up, then spent a pretty long time talking with the receptionist at the clinic... She told me about adoption, and how it would be a nice thing to do. She made me think about it from the Baby's point of view, then I thought about how badly someone would want a baby if they couldn't have one... Then we just talked, and talked, and talked, and... She was just really helpful, and she didn't judge me or anything.

I'm so glad you got to talk to someone! I really hope your checkup went well. I really think you should speak to someone about abortion too. Perhaps there is a phone hotline in your phone book? If not, I would be happy to help you find one. Please understand, I'm not voting for either abortion, adoption, or raising the baby. I just hope to be a voice of calm reason. For what it's worth, regardless of what your decision turns out to be, I, a complete stranger, will be proud of you because you're using your head.

I really think you should speak to someone about abortion too. Perhaps there is a phone hotline in your phone book?

I can't find one that would suit this type of thing, Most of them are all about Drugs, And addictions and all... =/