...About my boyfriend's best friend. Well, he is..or was my best friend too. I'm just so disappointed in him! He encouraged me in keeping my virginity since I thought he was like me and wanted to save his. But now this....girl comes along and they haven't even dated for 6 months and he slept with her. I'm SO disappointed. I feel so much rage and disgust! I know most people will read this and think "oh, she's being too harsh about it" or "oh, it's none of her business" but...I don't rightly care. He let go of his morals and left me all by myself. I already feel insecure about dating a guy who's been around the block and up the alley, so to speak. Now I'm all by myself. Again. Stupid humans. Foolish humans. I don't know why I even try to make friends. I'm only going to be disappointed again. I'm so angry...so very angry. I dunno what to do. My boyfriend must be distraught since his...friend is like a brother to him, if closer. But..I just cannot bring myself to look at him. I feel betrayed. I'm all alone again. Everyone in my group is not a virgin and pollutes themselves with alcohol and smoke. I'm the only one who's like me and it's so lonely! To have to skip parties because all their parties consist of is them being idiots and getting hammered. What's the allure in that kind of life anyway? Especially when they complain the next day about how awful it is. What's so special about sex anyway? What's the rush to have it? Why are humans so weak to emotions like lust? I feel like I'm an endangered species here. Morals don't seem to mean anything to anyone these days. The common theme in society appears to be "If you like it, do it. If that's what you prefer, then fine by me." What kind of mentality is that anyway? Am I supposed to just spread my legs if I feel aroused by something or eat compulsively if I feel like eating?? I hate society, I hate people and their destructive ways. I wish I could become a hermit. Like seriously. This world sucks. I'm so disappointed.

It sucks to feel lonely. It arguably sucks even more to feel that way even when you're with your friends. I feel for you, there.

But as for going ON AND ON about how stupid, foolish, weak, and destructive you think people are based on the fact that they have sex, drink alcohol, and smoke? Come on. These are your FRIENDS you're calling "idiots." It's just not very nice.

And you're right, it IS none of your business. You get to choose when you're ready for sex, and so does he. If you're going to drop him as a best friend because he had sex with his girlfriend, it will reflect far more poorly on you than it will on him.

They're not my friends. c.c They're people I just know.

I'm not going to drop him. Or her...I'm just staying the hell away from them until I cool down..

I also don't rightly care how something reflects on me. <3 No one's opinion but my own matters to me in regards to me as a person. I know how I can be and I accept it, so if I accepted every judgement/criticism I get...well...I'd be even more miserable, neh?

Just because a person's morals are different does not mean that they are inferior or nonexistent. :yes:

I know that it seems like a huge deal right now, but I'm willing to bet that you and your friend have much more in common than just your (previous) beliefs about premarital sex. You hung out with him for a reason, right? So unless he and his girlfriend begin doing the dirty right in front of you everyday, then sex is just a part of his private life. As long as he is being safe, then it isn't hurting him any. Sex could even help him become closer to his girlfriend and experience emotions that he has never felt before.

Not everyone is suited for certain lifestyles - Premarital sex and alcohol may not be for you, but that does not mean that everyone else is suited for abstinence. I think that it's time to just step back and realize that everyone is going to follow the lifestyle that suits them best.

c.c...I don't really hang out with him and if I do..it's because he happens to be in the same room as my boyfriend. We never had much in common, I didn't even know him until I started dating my boyfriend, so...-shrug- Me talking to him about such intimate things really...meant alot to me. >< I assumed that he felt the same way, he gave me that impression and he often encouraged me and told me he agreed with me. So, I just feel like..."Well, damn...I guess he lied."

I also don't agree that you need sex to bring you closer to your significant other. I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year now and we're so close to each other that we can read each other's thoughts and we're just such a natural pair that everyone looks up to us(which I'm not entirely comfortable with. c.c) . We didn't need sex to make that happen.

Nope, I never said that you need sex, just that it helps some couples. It's another way of expressing your emotions and getting closer to one another, but it's definitely not the only way. Just like abstinence isn't the only way. :yes:

Why not still keep talking to him? I don't think that he ever lied. People change, situations change, and sometimes it just isn't possible to hold the same beliefs all of your life. I'm willing to bet that he is still able to talk with you about virginity, what it feels like to keep it, and now he can even talk with you about the other side of the fence - What it feels like to finally begin having sex.

Please don't think of him as losing something. Losing your virginity has such a negative connotation. He has simply begun a new phase of his life and is only adding more to himself. Now you have more to talk about and you also have the opportunity to begin exploring what other things you may have in common besides all this sex stuff.

I don't WANT him or anyone to talk to me about something that personal. I'm not interested in sex. c.c At all.

I cannot help but think of him as losing something. If something happens between him and her, he just gave away his virginity for nothing. Hmph. I feel like I've been lied to because for once I went out of my comfort zone and thought I had found someone who was like me. That made me feel less alone. And it made me feel like I could unwind alittle. I feel betrayed, knowing that he's no different from everyone else. >/ It's upsetting for people to look down on me for my decisions....I thought for once I had someone I could lean against. Well....he wasn't my friend anyway...he was my boyfriend's friend...

You're right, he's no different from anyone else.
Neither am I.
And neither are you.
We're all human beings here and have a great deal of things on common.

But what's stopping you from still leaning on him for help and support? He still went through many of the same experiences as you, understands why a person may wish to retain their virginity, and what it feels like to struggle with those thoughts. He may have made a choice that you disagree with, but that does not discount his entire life previously. He probably still have a whole well of thoughts and experiences about virginity that you two can talk about. Just because he is not currently sharing in your struggle doesn't mean that he has suddenly forgotten what it is like.


Yet just let me point out one more thing - You say that it's upsetting when people look down upon you for your decisions, yet aren't you doing the exact same thing? Aren't you demeaning people who choose to have sex, drink, or smoke? If you wish to be respected for the lifestyle that you choose, the first step should be respecting those around you. :yes:

I can't rightly express myself and I don't think...you quite understand my dilemma. I guess I feel like...he's left me. c.c Not even my boyfriend understands how I feel about this, though he respects and appreciates my decisions. I don't have anything more to say to him because...I just don't. I'm not as upset anymore, but..I'm still bothered by it. I'm more worried now, I guess that something bad will or could happen to him. c.c I mean...I guess I trust her and what not, but...if she becomes pregnate, what then? Eh? They used protection I'm sure, but anything can happen, I don't really believe there is such a thing as "safe sex". There'll always be that tiny percentage. -sigh-

I know I sound no different from them, I don't really mean it. I mean..yea, I wish they would stop doing to themselves what they're doing, but...that's their business. I only get truly upset when they try to push it on me[which happens frequently, I might add.] Or when they make devastating comments, then I'm just like..."why should I give them any form of respect?" I get especially frustrated with certain..."friends" like this asian guy I know who's a healthnut..but...he smokes. And he's always telling me how out of shape I am and how badly I eat....but he smokes. So...like...what the hell? It just makes me uncomfortable, that kind of atmosphere. I can't go to any of their parties because that's all they do. Have sex, smoke like chimneys and drink. So..I mean...Idk. They're not all bad, it's just alittle aggravating sometimes when they get like that. I'd like to be able to have fun and stuff without that kind of garbage. c.c There's maybe....2 people I actually consider friends out of a group of maybe 20. That's including my boyfriend, btw.