The year is 2012... And the world has been taken over by zombies!!! Onoz!!! :O What will possibly happen?!

I awoke to my cat clawing my face.

"OH GOD! OW! AGGGHH!!" I grabbed the cat and held him up to face level "Mr. Kibbles...I hate you" With a throw, he flew out of the room. landing perfectly in a toilet with magic. "I need to make some kung pow kitty someday"

I grabbed the remote from the bedside table, the TV flicked to life a reporter screaming into her mike.

"THE WORLD IS DOOMED! ZOMBIES! THEY ROAM THE EARTH! TO EAT THE LIVING WE MU-"

I changed the channel quickly. "Boring...Now..Let's see...AH! HERE WE GO!" The TV flicked on to show the Teletubbies, the greatest show in the world. "AHAHAHAHAHA!!" I slapped my knee, laughing hysterically at the antics of Tinkie Winkie, La-La, Dixie and Po.

I walk into the room and see him watching the Teletubbies.

"What the crap?" I say. "His name is DIPSY, not DIXIE. It's British, for Christ's sake!!" I shake my head. "Listen, we have a big problem. THERE ARE ZOMBIES IN THE GARDEN, EATING MY PRIZED PETUNIAS!" I pull a fish out of my hammerspace and smack him upside the head with it. :feesh:

"TO HELL WITH YOUR PETUNAS WOMAN!" I shook my fist at her, dropkicking her fish out the window. "I'm a man, we care for one thing: TELETUBBIES! so don't mess with my show, I don't care if we're invaded by aliens. I WILL NOT MISS THIS SHOW!"

I turned away from her, returning to my happy place with the lovable teletubbies. suddenly the TV went to static.

"What?!" I looked horrified at the screen, I ran to the window, yanking it open. I fixed my gaze on the satellite dish to see a zombie contently chewing on it.

"WHY?! YOUR A ZOMBIE! YOU EAT BRAINS!" I shook my fist in rage at the zombie, how DARE it ruin my teletubbie time.

All I got in response was a quick "Brains!"as the zombie returned to its meal.

"I WILL END YOU!" With my battle cry sounded, I took off my shoe and threw it, fire surrounded the shoe as it collided with the zombie. It exploded into rainbow confetti.

"These Zombies..will fear the day they mess with...ME!" roaring loudly afterwards.

"Holy sh*t, Batman!" I cry. "It's time for me to shift into MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE!!"

I pull a pen out of my a**.

"SILVER MOON CRYSTAL POWER!! MAKE-UP!!" At once, a bright light surrounds me as I sprout wings and transform into Eternal Sailor Moon.

"THE LOVELY FIGHTING SCIENCE LEGEND!! IN THE NAME OF THE MOON, I WILL PUNISH YOU!!"

"Henshins?" I scoffed. "Who needs those?" I walk into the closet, I exit carrying a ladder. I place the ladder aligned with the zombies as I cup my hands around my mouth.

"HEY! ZOMBIES! YEAH, YOU! uhh...YOU LOOK FAT!" Grinning to myself at the amazing taunt, I noticed the Zombies stand up, petunas dangiling from their mouths.

"HOW DARE YOU! WHAT MAKES YOU SO GREAT?!" The zombies stare at me in rage, I grinned at them.

"L'oreal, because I'M worth it" I flicked my fringe nonchalantly. Sending the zombies into a blood rage to which they walk under the ladder.

"HAHA! LIKE SUN TZU ALWAYS SAID! IF ENEMY NOT SMART, USE LADDER!" I patted my chest proudly.

The zombies just looked at one another "He never said that" one declared confused.

"Yeah, when I was alive I was a literary scholar!" another declared in unison with the first.

"Well...SHUT UP! YOU WALKED UNDER A LADDER THAT IS BAD LUCK!" I stomped my foot aggressivly.

"Pft, who beleives that?" The third scoffed, shrugging his shoulders.

Suddenly three consecutive lightning bolts rained down, destroying the three zombies.

I looked up at the sky and let out in a booming voice "lol"

I fly onto the scene. "Wow!" I said. "You managed to beat them! But look!" I point into the distance. "There are more zombies attacking the city! I'M GOING TO GO SAVE THOSE POOR CIVILIANS!!" So, I fly off to protect everyone.

I find myself in the middle of a city street full of zombies. I pull out the TIARA from Kilala Princess. "I always knew I would find a use for this thing!" I take it and pull the gems off, one by one, and throw them at the zombies. "LOL"

I drive down the road, sat in a Lamborghini, the hydraulics bouncing, as I blast Metallica out the windows. I drift around the corner like Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift, skidding to a halt.

"No! IT'S A CROWN! WHY ELSE WOULD IT BE ON THE "CROWN" OF YOUR HEAD?!" I banged my head on the steering wheel.

"Your gems are not effective, they're only making them become fashonistas" Points to the Zombies eyeing each other gems, declaring them "fantastic" and "majestic".

"Any more gems and they will try to invade London! AND ENGLAND IS TOO IMPORTANT! THINK OF THE FISH AND CHIPS!" I suddenly noticed a large group of zombies surrounding my car.

"IF YOU EVEN SCRATCH THE PAINTWORK, YOU WILL GET THE BILL!" A zombie stepped forward, his face alight with glee.

He spat on his hand and smeared it on my hood, triumphantly he declared "roflmaololburgercakes"

I let out a furious scream, pulling out my most dastardly weapon. In my hand was a CD, I placed it inside the CD player. Suddenly "Friday" by Rebecca Black burst from the speakers, every zombie in the vicinity exploded into rainbow confetti.

One zombie fell to his knees "THIS S**T IS INSANE!!!!" and fell asleep.

The car ejected the CD and it smashed to tiny pieces as it collided into a building.

I was knocked out in the passenger seat, however I was narrating still through SCIENCE!

"OMG!" I said. "I've always wanted to do CPR!!" I got on top of him and started breathing into his mouth. However, I got distracted halfway through and started Frenching him passively!!11