`~-Ok, so the deal is me and my now boyfriend have known each other for like 4-5 years now, we've been together as mates now for about a year or so even though we both have really liked each other for a long while before that (not love at first site, but you get the point). It's a long distance relationship, he's in Northeast Ohio (east of Cleavland a ways) an I'm in West central Illinois! The distance gets to us a lot, me more so I think. We try really hard to see each other as much as we can via webcam chats and MSN/Yahoo IMs, and when time/money premets he comes over here to see me. Sadly this means I only get to see him in person for about a week every 3-5 months. Thats not enough.

I feel so Void and empty without him beside me, feeling his off beat heart and his big blue eyes...ummm. I have no will or drive anymore, I feel so dead inside right now. I'm moving threw the moshones day to day but the joy just has been sucked out of EVERYTHING. I can barely find the power to get my art orders done for my shops...video games I love have lost their luster, I don't even feel like eating anymore! D 8 <
(and Hiei-chan love her some Bacon...but not any more... ; m; )

If I could I'd move in with him right now, I'd pack my shit and be gone like that. But mom is got me chained down here. at first it was "get your drivers license and when your 18 you can go where you want". but now that I have a stable relationship with some one she magically wants me to finish college before I can move out. Not that I don't want to go to college, thats really the opposite! I want to go to college real bad and go all the way (Masters anyone? c : )! I mean mom wouldn't even let me go see him over spring brake because, get this, she was afraid I couldn't come back to finish college. She told me this, to my face with a strate face. nar.

He can't move up here, nor do I want him to (Ok, that was a lie. I want him to but I could never tell him that...theres nothing here, not even jobs). Theres no work here for him, other then driving buses and he's told me of his 'dislike' of buses. Also he knows no one up here, not that he can't make friends (he's REALLY outgoing) but that takes time. Don't even get me started about rent in a university city. And the worst, by far is that my 'Best Friend' said she'd cry rape on him if he EVER came to see me again. Wonderful.

So for about 4 years I'll have a gaping void in my life, woo hoo. Por the Champagne.


Anyway, anyone have some thoughts on how I can feel a little better?

You are eighteen. Move out. Stop being so dependent on your mom. If you really love him, move in with him and get a job out there. There isn't a single thing that your mom can legally do to hold you back. And if she does and she disowns you, then she is a really bitchy parent who needs a kick in the ass from life.

I went many years in a long distance relationship without getting to see my boyfriend, then a few more years with only getting to see him once or twice a year. I know how much it sucks. The first several years, we were teenagers and couldn't just go see each other because of our age and parents. Then when we were adults, we could visit each other but always had to go back home for college. After quite a few events occurred with my boyfriend's father ending up not having enough money to continue paying for his college, my boyfriend finally moved in with me in February of this year. He still doesn't have a job which is frustrating, I think this is mainly because he hasn't tried very hard to find one. His father keeps wanting him to come home so that he can make him go back to college, even though we both are doubting that he could even pay for it, so we feel like that is a bad option, and we are looking into him possibly being able to finish up his college here. I've told him over and over that he is an adult and he does not have to go back home just because his parents want him to. They can't force him to live with them. The same is true for you, if both you and your boyfriend are adults now then you have several options to be together. You could have him move in with you and try to find a job there, maybe with enough looking he would find one, or you could move in with him and either go to college there, or, if out of state tuition is too much you could see if you could attend a college in your own state through online classes. It wouldn't have to be a permanent situation for either of you, just until you figure out where you both want to live and have the money to get your own place or something. If you lived with him, you could go back home and visit your mom every now and then, as long as she wouldn't try to force you to stay.

I understand that you must feel you are dependent on your mother. I'm in a similar position. However, you need to realise that you're an adult now. Your mother can't STOP you from going to see your boyfriend a few states over. It's only a few states over!

It's the old saying - where there's a will, there's a way. If you REALLY wanted to see your boyfriend, you wouldn't be sitting here, you'd be going out and doing it the first chance you got. It sounds like you've already missed a chance or two. Why is that? Is it because of these circumstances, or is that just what you're telling yourself? You just said that the relationship is really hard on you. Is this forming some kind of block in the way of advancing the relationship?

I hate to go all psychologist on people, but I'm speaking from personal experience. If you talk endlessly about wanting to meet up with your LDR boyfriend but never really make a move to, there's some problem there outside of physical circumstances. At least, from my experience. I could be wrong.

Anyway, hopefully that might give you a little extra to think about.