Name: Kirin
Age: 16
Strengths/Likes: basketball
Weaknesses/Dislikes: he is a closeted homosexual. He hates himself at this moment in time more then anything else
History: Kirin is the star on the basketball team at his school, but he is failing math and might not be able to play if he doesn't get his grade up. So he is assigned a tutor by his math teacher.
Appearance: Six foot tall with shoulder length black hair and hazel eyes.

twotickets: Here you go

Name: Jake Carovan
Age: 16
Strengths/Likes: Jiu-jitsu, Star Trek, computer programming, school subjects
Weaknesses/Dislikes: Being put on the spot/surprised, bullies, and ridicule of anyone, sports of any kind, running, reflexes. He's also terrible at music but attempts it anyway.
History: Jake has moved around a lot thanks to his dad's job in the Army. His parents love him and support him despite the fact that he's not an alpha male type like his dad. He has an older brother, Philip junior, who is everything his dad wanted in a son, and a dog. Jake is new to his school and incredibly lonely.
Appearance: Jake is about 5'9'' with short, sandy-blond hair and dark brown eyes. He's thin but not scrawny (his dad would never allow that).

Kirin heads to the library after school for his first tutoring session. He isn't sure who this Jake kid is that he's been assigned to. He knows the kids knew, and openly gay. Just great, what if he found out his dark secret. Nobody knew that Kirin, the star of the basketball team, was gay. It wouldn't go well if they did. He also knew his father would kill him, or at the very least disown him. He didn't have a mom in the picture, but who knows his mom probably would have disowned him as well. His mom had died when he was still a baby and his dad had never remarried. He walks into the library and looks around.

Jake runs his fingers through his hair for a third time, trying hard not to fidget and failing miserably. Mr. Norris has told him that tutoring is the best way to make new friends at a new school, and at the time, it seemed like a compelling argument. Now he can't remember why.

This guy Kirin he's meeting is some kind of jock; if they don't get along, he's going to get labeled as a nerd, or worse, and no one will talk to him again.

He doesn't have too much time to worry about it, though; he can see a tall, dark-haired guy standing by the library entrance, looking lost. Jake has to admit he's kind of cute.

Kirin spots a young man who fits Jake's description. With a small sigh he heads to the table where the young man is sitting. He had to admit, if this was Jake, he was good looking.

"Jake?" He asks when he gets to the table.

"Um, I'm over here," Jake says as Kirin walks past him and to another table. He didn't even notice that other guy. "Sorry, I guess I should have had a name-tag, or something."

Jake tends to talk a lot when he's nervous. "So I hear you need help with math, yeah, and Norris said you're on a deadline or something, so I brought these books. You can tell me where you are in them, and what's being difficult for you, and then we'll go from there."

He pauses, but not long enough for a response. "I saw you playing ... uh, shooting hoops, or whatever, a couple days ago. You're really good. I can't wait to watch a game. How long have you played? And what, um, position do you ... play."

Jake really needs to stop talking now. He presses his nails into the palms of his hand and takes a deep breath. "Sorry, I--"

He figures he's already said enough.

Kirin just stood there listening to Jake ramble. It was sort of cute. Hell Jake was sort of cute. Though he quickly and silently reprimanded himself for thinking like that. It took him a moment to realize that Jake had stopped talking.

"I just don't get any of it." He says honestly. "I also don't see how I'll ever use algebra in my real life."

Jake hoped Kirin would have some idea of where to start, but he should have known better. He found out a long time ago that people sometimes got overwhelmed when learning something new and then just let everything sail over their heads.

He sighs a little and smiles. "All right, then. How did math go last school year? When did you start having major trouble?"

There is a distinct possibility that Kirin won't know, and if he doesn't, Jake will have to just start from scratch. He hopes it won't shake Kirin's faith in him as a tutor.

"Last year in math I did alright. Solid B average." He said. Though it was during the summer that he had come to realize things about himself, and that had set him off and things, like math had started suffering. He was actually very amazed that he didn't need tutoring in other subjects. Though his dad did work with him on science and he had always enjoyed languages.

"So I guess we'll need to start with the beginning of the semester and work our way forwards. That doesn't sound too bad. We're only a few weeks into the semester, anyway."

Jake grins. He's pretty sure that he'll be spending a lot of time with Kirin in the near future, and he doesn't mind that prospect at all. Too bad so many jocks are straight.

"Do you want to set up here, or is there somewhere else you like studying better?" Jake isn't sure why he says that. Studying does tend to go easier when the student is comfortable, but the way he's asked it makes it sound kind of like ... like he is asking Kirin out. Which he isn't (although he would in a heartbeat, if he thought Kirin would go for it, which he wouldn't).

Jake is about a second away from tearing a hole in his brain.

"Oh anywhere is fine." Kirin says. He is very aware of the other boy. More then he would like to be. It was driving him crazy and he knew it wouldn't matter where they were. He drops his bag on the table. He wondered if it was possible to get his grade back up before basketball season. A part of him doubted it but he would still try. He knows his coach would kill him if he didn't at least make an effort.

Jake sits back down and opens his book up to the first lesson they learned this year-- graphs and linearly related data.

"The first thing is to learn to read graphs." Jake points to a simple graph with one straight line. It details the 1:1 ratio of how much some dude named Horatio spends depending on how much he earns. "What does this one tell us?"

Kirin sits down next to him. He tries to concentrate. "I..." He is distracted by Jake's cologne. "I'm not sure." He mumbles. He really wishes he weren't so attracted to this young man.

Jake is starting to get worried. "Okay..."

He shifts away from Kirin just a little bit, noting the boy's discomfort, and tries to act casual. "Right, well, there's the x-axis and the y-axis, and they work together to create a plane."

He watches Kirin's face for signs of comprehension. "Here, the x-axis represents the amount of money Horatio could make. What does the y-axis represent?"

"the amount he can spend?" He asks. Before he can get an answer he leans over and kisses Jake. He has no idea why he did it. But it just seemed like a good thing to do. Well maybe good isn't the right word. Kirin just knew he had to do it. He really was tired of hiding who he was. And while he couldn't come out and say he was gay, cause deep down he knew he was though he wouldn't admit it even to himself, he was hoping against all hope that Jake would see this as him struggling to come out. Man he hopes Jake doesn't take this as a cruel joke.

Jake is completely at a loss. Kirin's lips are a little rough against his, desperate. It feels good, but they're in a public place, and he's known Kirin for all of ... five minutes?

He puts a hand on Kirin's chest and pushes hard; Kirin's taller than he is and much more muscular, but Jake's sure he'll get the message. When he can breathe again without panting, he tries to meet Kirin's eyes.

"Man, I had no idea math was such a turn-on." He knows even as he says it that the joke will fall flat. "You were right, by the way. Horatio spends as much as he earns."

That is when the reality of the situation catches up with him, and, as usual, Jake's approach is to babble incoherently until he remembers how to stop. "It's not that I don't-- well, I mean, do you? But we've just met, and I-- it was good. Very good. Quite ... good. But I'm not-- I don't-- is this a date? Because that changes things-- except, well, it's a library, and I've never ... in a library. We should-- I mean, I should-- stop."

Every word ratchets up the tension in Jake's body until he's standing by the table, fists clenched, breathing like he's just run a marathon.

Kirin moves back when he feels Jake giving him a push. Kirin feels himself start to pull into himself. Tell him! He can help you! His mind screams at him. "Look, just forget it o.k.?" He feels like such a fool. "I need to use the restroom." He says standing. He rushes out of the library to the nearest boys bathroom.

Jake watches Kirin go with a strange combination of frustration and pity. He's not quite sure what to think.

He's pretty sure he just blew it with Kirin on three different levels-- as a tutor, as a friend and fellow student, and ... with whatever else they might have had.

"Stupid," he berates himself, whispering because it's a library. "That kiss was good."

He sits and stares at the stuff Kirin left behind.

Kirin comes back a few minutes later. He has made a choice, he's going to talk to Jake. He has to tell somebody. If he doesn't he's afraid he's going to burst.

"Hey sorry about that." Kirin says sitting back down. "Jake can I... can I talk to you about something?" He asks softly. He's scared but he knows he has to do this.

"Yeah," Jake says, matching Kirin's tone. "Of course you can."

He doesn't know how to say how relieved he is that Kirin's back, so he just tries to look encouraging and shifts his body so it's focused on him.

"Shoot."

Kirin stares at his hands. "I... I think..." He takes a deep shuddering breath. "I think I might be gay. And it scares me to death. My parents, hell they support a straight camp. And I know when they found out, that's where they will send me." He has to admit it feels good to have gotten this off his chest.

Jake takes a deep breath. "Wow."

He doesn't know where to start. He wants to find Kirin's parents and punch them, but he's pretty sure that would just make things worse. Unfortunately, so would kissing Kirin, probably.

"I'm pretty sure you know I'm gay," he starts. "I've been pretty open about it, but then, my parents would never do something like that."

He casts about for anything encouraging or reassuring he can offer. He comes up empty. "What you do-- or don't do-- about it is up to you, Kirin," he says finally. "And I don't think it'll be very easy. So please, let me help. Whatever you need."

"I'm tired Jake, tired of hiding but I have to hide. I just... I don't know what to do." He buries his face in his hands. "I just want to disappear." He mumbles into his hands. He takes a shuddering breath. He couldn't let himself even entertain the thought that had just entered his mind. Even though he's sure the only person who would care if he was dead was Jake, especially once it got out he was gay. But he has to be strong.

Jake can't keep his distance anymore. He leans over and puts his hand very carefully on Kirin's back.

"I know," he says. He doesn't know. He rubs Kirin's back in soothing lines, like his mother used to do when he was sick. "I know this is hard, but it won't always be. This one thing doesn't have to define you."

He's not sure where the last sentence came from, but once he's said it, he realizes it's true. Kirin is awesome at so many other things; Jake has to clench his free hand to deal with his anger that anyone would make Kirin believe that one choice could make him worthless.

Kirin gets a text message. He checks it. "Oh no." He whispers. It was from his parents somebody had heard something or seen something of what had gone on and had told his parents. They were furious and wanted him home right away. "No..." The phone slips from his fingers.