Maybe it's just YouTube catching onto my viewing preferences, but I'm seeing a lot of documentary and news coverage on transgender individuals coming out very young. I'm going to ask pretty much the same questions as everyone asks, but I want your thoughts and opinions. Especially from those of you who know any transgenders or are transgender.
Why are parents becoming more accepting of letting their children live their chosen
genders?
Why are the numbers of pre-pubescent transgender individuals coming out going up?
How likely is it that media attention is causing children to switch to a different gender because of it gaining them more attention or more love?
How likely is it thay parents are intentionally or unintentionally encouraging their children to come out as transgender?
Lastly, but slightly off topic, I have a personal question. If a parent says, "I don't like the sexuality you have chosen, but that doesn't mean I don't accept and love all of you." Does that make you feel wholely accepted? I look forward to your responses.

Originally Posted by AmyHeartXVIII

Why are parents becoming more accepting of letting their children live their chosen
genders?

I think people in general are becoming more acceptable of everything to do with being human, and any and all our differences that make us special, unique and human.

Why? Because of education, breaking down of ignorance and stereotypical views, and that is partly to do with the media and the internet, opening peoples eyes.

I am a parent of two gorgeous girls, and that love I have is unconditional, and I will love them no matter what, and I hope that attitude is passed onto them when they have children too.

Why are the numbers of pre-pubescent transgender individuals coming out going up?

That is to do with people being more accepting, and so it is 'easier' (not easy) to do so, and there is more support out there, for those that do, or those that are not sure, or don't, there's is more help to identify themselves. And every person who does come out as transgender, bi, gay or straight or whatever, there is one more person, who can understand your difficulties.

How likely is it that media attention is causing children to switch to a different gender because of it gaining them more attention or more love?

Very unlikely, there will always be a very small minority of people who will do anything for attention,(there's probably easier ways to get it)
But for someone to be transgender, it is not a choice, if someone believes that then I feel sorry for their ignorance.

How likely is it thay parents are intentionally or unintentionally encouraging their children to come out as transgender?

Do you mean to come out if they know that' they are, as opposed to the parents trying to make them transgender? If parents are more supportive and understanding about their children, they will support them in whatever they do, if that means coming out, then that's what they will do, so as society becomes more open, there will be more people being less afraid of what they are.
I'd you mean are parents encouraging children to become transgender? That's disturbing?

Lastly, but slightly off topic, I have a personal question. If a parent says, "I don't like the sexuality you have chosen, but that doesn't mean I don't accept and love all of you." Does that make you feel wholely accepted? I look forward to your responses.

surely, in my opinion at least if someone doesn't like the sexuality you have chosen, I can't see how they can really accept someone?

Obviously I am speaking from my view, and the views of my love of my children. We all have ideas about the future, and how our children will turn out, and sometimes can be shocked. but to be honest what they choose, or who they are.... I really deep down, know it's not going to change my love for them, and I will support them with my dying breath.

Originally Posted by BrotherOfDarkness

Do you mean to come out if they know that' they are, as opposed to the parents trying to make them transgender?

I was referring to parents who encourage their children to come out as transgender when the child actually is not. For example, in one of the various YouTube vids I've watched, their was a transgender girl who asked her mother, "Would you be mad if I wanted to be a boy?" Her mother was shocked and tearfully replied that she would support her daughter whatever gender she felt comfortable with. The mother was scared to think that she might have been influencing her daughter to be something she wasn't really comfortable with being. But I believe you answered this question at the same time as answering the one about children pretending to be transgender. Thank you for your thought out responses! ^_^

The thing is though I never had to think about a thing, it is all emotional response, which sometimes can be ill informed, and wrong, but in my case I am simply thinking about the feelings towards my own children, and that those I guess are something that you don't care if the responses are wrong? I usually do try to think about what I am posting, but then sometimes emotions and feelings are what make us humans, and not robots? But you have asked some questions that bring up so many points, a real minefield topic, so brave of you to do so.

I'll address each question individually.

Why are parents becoming more accepting of letting their children live their chosen
genders?

My question is, why haven't they been before? This isn't some new trend, trans* people have existed for a very long time. It's been treated as an illness in the past, which it is not. It's not a defect, there is nothing wrong with people being trans*. I suppose people are more accepting now for the same reason so many other things are being accepted. This is a new generation of, for the most part, more open-minded people. We have more understanding of a lot of things than we did in the past.

Why are the numbers of pre-pubescent transgender individuals coming out going up?

That's actually a pretty simple answer. There is more support now for young LGBTQ people than there ever has been. Of course, there still isn't as much support as there should be...but I guess it's a start.

How likely is it that media attention is causing children to switch to a different gender because of it gaining them more attention or more love?

Not only is that unlikely, but I find it absolutely offensive and dismissive that anyone would actually believe that. You don't get more love for being trans*. Trans* people have to deal with a lot of really horrible things when they come out. There is a big issue with trans* people being raped and sometimes even killed just for being who they are. No one just wakes up and decides they want to deal with being mocked, raped, or beaten for their gender. Children have a better understanding of the consequences than you might think, they know their life will not be the same as a cis person's.

How likely is it thay parents are intentionally or unintentionally encouraging their children to come out as transgender?

Honestly, I don't believe this happens. If it does, it's really rare. Back to my last answer, no one would force that life on their child. Any parent who knows what trans* people have to deal with wouldn't do that. What they will do is be supportive, if they are good people.

If a parent says, "I don't like the sexuality you have chosen, but that doesn't mean I don't accept and love all of you." Does that make you feel wholely accepted?

Well, if it were put that way I don't feel it would make me feel very accepted. That statement implies that we choose our sexuality. I don't believe that it is a choice at all. You feel what you feel, love who you love, and are attracted to certain things. None of that is by choice. That being said, a parent saying they love and accept them is still very important. We all need a support system in our lives, it's even more important when the rest of the world seems to be completely against you.

Originally Posted by AmyHeartXVIII

Lastly, but slightly off topic, I have a personal question. If a parent says, "I don't like the sexuality you have chosen, but that doesn't mean I don't accept and love all of you." Does that make you feel wholely accepted? I look forward to your responses.

I'm just going to comment on this part, as I'd just be repeating what's already said better on the rest.
If said parent phrased it like that. . . no, not at all.
It's not a choice. It's who you are.
But that doesn't make that parent's love invalid, either.
Of course, I'm a bit spoiled in the sense that my parents really would love me regardless of my sexuality.
They understand that it's not a choice, and though it would really weird one of the two out (he'd never admit it, but it would), they'd accept it.
I have no doubt of that.

Originally Posted by Clomp-a-saurus

I'm just going to comment on this part, as I'd just be repeating what's already said better on the rest.
If said parent phrased it like that. . . no, not at all.
It's not a choice. It's who you are.
But that doesn't make that parent's love invalid, either.
Of course, I'm a bit spoiled in the sense that my parents really would love me regardless of my sexuality.
They understand that it's not a choice, and though it would really weird one of the two out (he'd never admit it, but it would), they'd accept it.
I have no doubt of that.

In response to the part bolded, I have to say this before I continue (and I'm not responding to all those questions either, just this part-ish!).
I believe a parent loves their child no matter what (hopefully in some way!) and when a parent phrases it "I don't like the sexuality you have chosen, but that doesn't mean I don't accept and love all of you." then I can see they're actually trying and that is something I hope to see more and more.

But it's not love to the child to start pushing them away because of gender. Honestly, to put myself in a transgendered person's shoes with these sort of parents? I would call it hate. No matter what. I believe there are more and more accepting parents out there, but there are parents who would kick their kids out for being gay and transgendered still..I definitely don't call that love. :/

Originally Posted by KittyCat18

In response to the part bolded, I have to say this before I continue (and I'm not responding to all those questions either, just this part-ish!).
I believe a parent loves their child no matter what (hopefully in some way!) and when a parent phrases it "I don't like the sexuality you have chosen, but that doesn't mean I don't accept and love all of you." then I can see they're actually trying and that is something I hope to see more and more.

But it's not love to the child to start pushing them away because of gender. Honestly, to put myself in a transgendered person's shoes with these sort of parents? I would call it hate. No matter what. I believe there are more and more accepting parents out there, but there are parents who would kick their kids out for being gay and transgendered still..I definitely don't call that love. :/

I don't believe that's universally true.
A parent should love their child no matter what. In a perfect world, they would.
But I don't disagree. They're trying. That's good.
But I would not feel accepted if my parents made a point to tell me they didn't like that I'd chosen something that wasn't actually my choice.
I would feel like they're trying, and I'd appreciate that, but I would not feel good about that conversation.

I would not be so quick to call it hate, though.
For a lot of people, that initial reaction of "I don't like that/can't accept that" is a lack of understanding and the fact that, for them, the situation is so completely unexpected. Some people can't immediately bridge the gap between their abstract idea of what "gay" or "transgender" etc is and of who their child is.
Some people just need a little time and/or education.
I've had friends get kicked out of their house when they came out.
I wouldn't even always call that hate, though much of the time it is straight-up rejection and the word applies.
Sometimes it's a very sad situation for everybody. Some people just can't handle it, and though it's not fair to the child at all, I think people are too quick to use the word "hate" when rejection is involved.
Sometimes understanding is needed on BOTH sides.

Love isn't always pretty. Sometimes it's twisted or misunderstood. Sometimes people evoke what you call "tough love" for the wrong reasons, hoping a lesson will be learned when they're in the wrong all along. But just because there's rejection involved, or because the person trying isn't what you need to them to be. . . it doesn't mean it's appropriate to assume hate.

Originally Posted by AmyHeartXVIII

Why are parents becoming more accepting of letting their children live their chosen
genders?

Well I'm not a parent, but I feel there are a few reasons. The first being that there is much more support for people of the LGBTQ community. There are plenty of resources to help them feel like they actually have a place in society, rather than back then. Many of these communities support the parents as well.

Another reason could simply be that parents just want their kids to be happy. Just because they let their child live their life does not mean they are whole-heartedly accepting of it, though. I'm not transgendered, but I am bisexual and my family knows. My mother "accepts" the fact that I am attracted to both but would prefer me to be in a relationship with a woman and my grandmother completely ignores the fact (though I think she's coming around to inwardly accept it.)

Originally Posted by AmyHeartXVIII

Why are the numbers of pre-pubescent transgender individuals coming out going up?

Once again, there is more support out there for transgendered individuals and with the rise of the internet, there is almost no reason to feel alone as a transgendered person. I feel that there have been plenty of people that were considered transgendered back then as well, but it was taboo back then.

Originally Posted by AmyHeartXVIII

How likely is it that media attention is causing children to switch to a different gender because of it gaining them more attention or more love?

Highly unlikely.
You don't just "switch" genders. It's much deeper than that. As far as I know, transgendered people feel that they were born in the wrong body. They feel more comfortable in the opposite gender's clothing and feel that they are more comfortable living the opposite gender role.

A man does not wake up and decide he wants to be a man, just as transgenders don't wake up and decide they want to be the opposite gender.

I'd also like to add that this is not something that is garnering more "love." There are many people who find it repulsive. Times have changed, though. We're allowed to learn things about people, and the only way we'll learn is through exposure.

Originally Posted by AmyHeartXVIII

How likely is it thay parents are intentionally or unintentionally encouraging their children to come out as transgender?

Now, this I can't say for sure. My best guess would have to be two seperate answers:

• Intentionally: Probably unlikely
• Unintentionally: Moreso likely

The reason I think it's moreso unintentional is because of circumstantial living situations. For instance, a boy being raised by a single mother would be more exposed to feminine qualities than masculine, unless he seeks out a father figure. That's not to say this is where it stems from, but I feel that it could definitely affect someone's attitudes towards their own gender role.

Originally Posted by AmyHeartXVIII

Lastly, but slightly off topic, I have a personal question. If a parent says, "I don't like the sexuality you have chosen, but that doesn't mean I don't accept and love all of you." Does that make you feel wholely accepted? I look forward to your responses.

Well I did sort of cover this earlier, but to answer your question of how it makes me feel: No. It's a hard question to answer, but at the end of the day, that statement is a paradox. A person's sexuality is part of who they are, and if someone doesn't like that about you, then they don't love you whole-heartedly. That's just my opinion, at least.

Originally Posted by Clomp-a-saurus

I don't believe that's universally true.
A parent should love their child no matter what. In a perfect world, they would.
But I don't disagree. They're trying. That's good.
But I would not feel accepted if my parents made a point to tell me they didn't like that I'd chosen something that wasn't actually my choice.
I would feel like they're trying, and I'd appreciate that, but I would not feel good about that conversation.

I would not be so quick to call it hate, though.
For a lot of people, that initial reaction of "I don't like that/can't accept that" is a lack of understanding and the fact that, for them, the situation is so completely unexpected. Some people can't immediately bridge the gap between their abstract idea of what "gay" or "transgender" etc is and of who their child is.
Some people just need a little time and/or education.
I've had friends get kicked out of their house when they came out.
I wouldn't even always call that hate, though much of the time it is straight-up rejection and the word applies.
Sometimes it's a very sad situation for everybody. Some people just can't handle it, and though it's not fair to the child at all, I think people are too quick to use the word "hate" when rejection is involved.
Sometimes understanding is needed on BOTH sides.

Love isn't always pretty. Sometimes it's twisted or misunderstood. Sometimes people evoke what you call "tough love" for the wrong reasons, hoping a lesson will be learned when they're in the wrong all along. But just because there's rejection involved, or because the person trying isn't what you need to them to be. . . it doesn't mean it's appropriate to assume hate.

Oh I'm not saying a parent will always love it's child. I know there are parents out there who truly don't give a crap about their kid. Who are homophobic or transphobic (right word? Sorry if it isn't XD ) to a point where it's truly hate.

But put your shoes into the people who DO get rejected by their parents. Parents who are very anti gay and reject them the moment they say "I'm Transgender or Gay". Rejection to you or anyone outside the shoes might say it's just parents not willing to try and accept..that it's confusion over the topic and refusal to understand. And maybe you wouldn't feel like it was hate, but there are many that do. But rejecting your child, kicking them out of their house because their gay or transgendered? If my parents had done that to me, I would have called it hate. Absolutely without any thought.

It's a matter of perspective whatever way you put it. Breaking it down and trying to be logical about the meaning of hate on our end doesn't reduce the feeling of being unloved, rejected or even hated by the people being unnacepted by their family. I'm not saying that all feel hated for not being totally accepted. I have a friend at college who's parents dont accept her being lesbian at all. They are trying to accept her, but they show favortism with their straight daughter. It hurts my friend, but the fact her parents are trying to understand and accept helps. So while I do agree with what you're saying that it isn't nessicarily hate all the time, I just think it can be seen differently sometimes by the person being rejected.

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