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juniper_silver
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07-06-2009, 12:14 AM
I've been having financial problems lately...I'm nearly out of the money I had saved up and I need to get a job. This is the first time in years I've ever been so short on money that I'm not spending any money on anything but my car and health. I applied to be a library page (my dream job), but they didn't try to contact me, so after a few weeks I applied for a job that my friend referred me to when she had to quit (because she found a better job). She thought I was the only one applying, so I've been thinking it's a pretty sure thing.
She texted me today to see if I wanted to do something and I asked how much it was and told her that I was having financial problems right now. So she told me how much and asked me if I'd applied for any other jobs. I told her that I hadn't and that thinking about having to apply to work in retail again was giving me terrible panic attacks (I've been worried about the job (among other things) because I applied over a week ago and still haven't gotten a call). She said "I think they interviewed someone else last week so you might have to (apply for retail)".
That really upset me. I have the feeling that I'm overreacting (hence trying to get other people's opinions to balance my own). I'm glad that she told me that someone else had an interview last week. I'm upset about the other part, telling me I might have to apply for retail when she knew thinking about it was currently causing me panic attacks. My panic attacks are horrible and I felt like she was basically saying "oh well, get over it and apply". It makes it worse that she couldn't find a job for 2 years and every time she complained to me or talked about crying over it I was extremely sympathetic and never told her that her standards were too high even though she wouldn't work in retail either. I don't think she's had panic attacks before, so she probably doesn't understand exactly how bad they are...but still. It really hurt my feelings that she didn't take my feelings into consideration as much as I did for her.
Am I overreacting? Should I try to bring it up somehow or should I just try to forget about it?
Last edited by juniper_silver; 07-06-2009 at 01:01 AM..
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d2hiriyuu
(。・ω・&...
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07-06-2009, 12:22 AM
I feel like the stress from the finacial side is causing you to over react, try and get a job, and also talk to her a bit about it if you think there is a need. People these days are stressed with the issue of finances over there head, so both of you might be trying to help, but causing the other one to be stressed.
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juniper_silver
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07-06-2009, 01:05 AM
Thanks for the advice, I'm glad to hear that I'm probably overreacting. I'll probably calm down after a couple days and won't even need to talk to her about it if that's the case. I think you're right about the stress being the cause of my overreaction too, knowing that I'm beyond stressed right now is what made me think that I'd better ask for an unbiased opinion before talking to her about it.
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Meltastic
(-.-)zzZ
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07-06-2009, 06:03 AM
If you confront her on this, I can guarantee that there will be a fight. To her, this is a simple thing that she didn't even realize she was doing. If you mention it at all, be sure not to be aggressive, or things will end badly.
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Racheal
the Lost
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07-06-2009, 06:44 AM
I have no experience about panic attacks, or the like so i dont know where you are coming from with those, however it sounds to me from what i've read that it was your fault that you didnt get the jobs. My roommate made the same mistake i think you made. Applied for a job and waited for a call back that never came. I have had several jobs in my short life so far and i've gotten every single one i've applied for except one.
If you want a job, dont wait for them to call you. They wont. YOU need to let them know you're serious about working for them. If they say they will call you thursday then call them wednesday. Dont wait. Companies want people who will take charge and take initiative. Never assume you are the only one going for a job, its never true, and there is always someone better for that job then you, its YOUR job before getting hired to dress yourself up and make them pick you over the other people. Dog eat Dog.
I live paycheck to paycheck so i know financial problems as well as the next girl but if you blame your friend for you not getting the job then you need to think again. If your mad at your friend for being cold and uncaring then take a tip from me. I'm 3 grand in the hole with over 100 grand worth of medical bills coming my way in the next 5 years. My roommate, who hasnt worked a hard day in his life has 120 grand sitting in the bank and he rubs it in my face everyday (Not on purpose, of course). Ignore everyone else when it comes to money, you are all that matters. If you need help, then ask, but dont expect it. If you want a job, then take it, dont expect it to be given to you. If someone does help you, then take what help you can but dont rely on them because they have there own problems.
I do apologize if this was insensitive or cruel sounding. It was not my intention. My intention was to guide and teach with no malice. I was in the same situation you were when i was 14. Ever try getting a job as a 14 year old when the minimum working age is 16? Sucks, but i did it. As far as what to do with your friend? I say ignore it. If she is your friend then just let it pass. Life is too short to stress about the little things and too long to let them slow you down now. Just pledge to yourself that tomorrow and everyday after you will be better than you were the day before.
Go and try your best Juniper_Silver, i'm rooting for you!:hug:
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juniper_silver
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07-06-2009, 12:58 PM
Yeah, as I said I think that I was overreacting and will probably calm down once my panic attacks calm down. If I don't feel any better about it after I'm less stressed, I'll confront her. I'll make sure that I do it in a non-aggressive way though. I know if I did confront her, she'd just apologize. In the past we've usually brought it up rationally if we had a disagreement and have been able to work it out.
Oh, I think I worded that part badly Racheal. I should have added they wouldn't contact me and that I tried to contact them. The person who answers the phones was really friendly, but said she didn't know about the position so she'd have someone call me. After not hearing anything for a few days after she said that, I called back. A different secretary picked up and told me that the position had already been filled. It's possible that the position had already been filled before I called the first secretary and she just didn't know it, but honestly I didn't wait that long.
I'll admit that I didn't call the job that my friend recommended me to, and maybe I should have. My friend told me that her manager lives out of town and that she would call me whenever she was in town for an interview so I didn't want to call her and bother her first. Maybe I should have. I don't think they advertised the job, but they must have gotten some more applicants by word of mouth.
I absolutely do not blame my friend for not getting the job, I'm extremely grateful that she thought of me when she knew there was an opening. The reason I was upset was because I felt like she wasn't being considerate of my feelings. It felt like it was the equivalent of her calling me crying saying that she's worried she might have to apply for retail and me just saying "yes, you might" rather than trying to comfort her at all or give any suggestions. My panic attacks are actually more stressful to me than crying because they build pressure rather than releasing it. I guess maybe she doesn't know that though if she's never had them before. I'm sure she wasn't intentionally trying to hurt my feelings.
Thank you both for the advice, I appreciate it.
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Izumi
イズミ
Penpal
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07-06-2009, 03:23 PM
Lets face it, as said before, it's a dog eat dog world and you have to take that approach when job hunting. I wouldn't of automatically assumed you would be a shoe-in, as any smart company would check around and make sure they've got the cream of the crop for the position and not just hand it to an employer's recommendation. I would not blame your friend for the position, or get all up in arms over your friend recommending you apply elsewhere - she's just being realistic.
Also about her not being emotionally comforting, that just might not come to her naturally and perhaps this is a difference in personality (and apparently more of a 'male' trait, for those of you who are into reading about the differences in sexes) and she automatically looks for a solution, rather than comforting you and asking if everything is ok.
Last edited by Izumi; 07-06-2009 at 03:25 PM..
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Dream Weaver
wandering echo
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07-14-2009, 11:47 PM
If retail is causing you panic attacks then try to apply for something different. You cant count on getting any one job you applied for. If your finances are in bad shape then you really need to apply for other jobs. You may want to try a temp service of some sort. They will examine what talents and other work youve done and find temp positions for you. A lot of times if you are working out this can lead to a permanent job. But in the meanwhile a temp position allows you the choice of going back to that particular job or not.
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Fabby
KHAAAAAAAAN~
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07-16-2009, 04:04 AM
I used to have panic attacks quite often, and I'm still anxious much of the time, so I understand where you're coming from. Still, I don't think a lot of people understand the severity of panic attacks... I wouldn't be too hard on your friend. She was only trying to help by telling you to apply elsewhere. Realistically, you shouldn't ever count on just one job application as a sure thing, because there's ALWAYS other people who want the job as well. I don't think she meant any harm, honestly.
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Silverbeam
Baby Godzilla
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07-18-2009, 06:04 PM
Once you get past school and the have to retail, it just feels like a horrible step back. Times are tough and work is scarce.
Look for the best you can and still work....
Like Factory kinda work, or day care etc. There are usually those kind of jobs and it's a (tiny) step above retail.
Apply everywhere anyway. Do the ones you think you could stand the most first. Make some goals, and do some research and looking about town.
I hate retail and It never worked out for me. I don't have the stamina etc to do that kinda stuff.
good luck!
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