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Saiyouri
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Old 08-14-2009, 02:41 AM

The following is a short story I made some years ago. I was wondering if anyone could tell me what they think. I want to try to write more and I would like some ideas on how to better my writing. This is copied exactly as I originally wrote it.

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Old 08-14-2009, 02:42 AM

It was a brisk cold day in early December. The snow started to fall lightly early in the day and as the day went on the snow got heavier til it was almost like a blizzard.
In a tiny cottage built of stone, there lived a little family that was of poor income. It was a mother, father and a little girl named Tammy who took care of her very sick mother and who herself was sick.
Her father Tim was a farmer, but for the last few years hasn’t sold any crops and had to rely on friendly neighbors for hand outs of food and clothing and medical supplies to support his family.
The draught has been so poor by his farm that the soil is all dust that blows away, no plants, grasses, trees grow and their chickens rarely lay eggs and the cows barley give milk.
Tammy was five years old and never learned anything yet. The next day was her sixth birthday and was about to start school soon. But they were too poor for her to go and learn. She didn’t know how to count or her numbers or her alphabet. But their neighbor, who was a little old lady, came over once every few days and tried to teach her something, Mrs. Gillians would give her a treat. A piece of candy and a five cents piece.
Mrs. Gillians cam over on Tammy’s birthday and gave her ten cents and some bread and a new warm blanket for her mom.
Soon it came close to Christmas and Mrs. Gillians cam over less and less because of the snow fall and cold. But when she did, she taught Tammy about Christmas and Santa.
Tammy began to think about what she wanted for Christmas. The next time Mrs. Gillians came over was the day before Christmas Eve.
Tammy was still not smart enough for school or as the children at her age but she knew just enough to know what to ask for Christmas.
When Mrs. Gillians asked Tammy about if there was anything she wanted for Christmas, Tammy told her what she wanted and now can she ask Santa and make sure he comes to her home.
Mrs. Gillians told Tammy how and what to do. That night Tammy and Mrs. Gillians set everything up, after Tammy put her mom and dad to bed.
Christmas Eve day went by normal and exciting for Tammy. Because unlike every year since her family became poor, her father found a way to maker her a present and one for her mom and Tammy always tried to do something for her parents. But this year her father found some work, helping a neighbor move things around his home and fix it up a little, so her could go to the store and buy Tammy and her mom a gift and little food too.
That night Tammy went to bed a little earlier and finished what had to be done for that night for Santa.
The next morning, Tammy woke up earlier than normal, for this Christmas was different than the others.
Tim propped his wife in the rocking chair near a fire to open up gifts. Tammy received a new pair of shoes for father had help to get for her. Time came for Tim to open his present from Tammy. He untied the bag and found a lot of money in it. The money Tammy got from Mrs. Gillians.

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Old 08-14-2009, 02:42 AM

Tim didn’t really want to accept it but Tammy insisted. Tammy began her daily chores for the day and she began to search for the gift from Santa and soon she began to give up and lose faith in Santa.
But a knock came to the door and Tammy ran to get it. There stood a doctor asking for her mom, because he received a letter during the night from a guy calling him Mr. Claus telling him about Tammy’s mom.
Tammy let him in and when she was about to close the door, she noticed the gift she was asking for.
Inside a beautifully wrapped box was a package for Tim from a neighbor and it was an advansement payment for a job he got in a nearby town. The owner of a business heard of their situation and wanted to help. For Tammy’s mom was some medication that she needed to get better, so better that within two days her mom was about the house and talking. And for Tammy were school books for her age to learn what she needed and begin schooling.
No one knew how the miracles came about, but Tim and Susan with their belief of Santa renewed.
Tim started to teach Tammy her schooling things and her mom began to get better and better each day to take over her original chores Tammy took over and Tammy began to go to school when the next session of school began and she was put in the grade she was to be in with her age group if she orginally went to school.
Tammy saw Mrs. Gillians two more times before she passed away and when she did, in her will, she left everything to Tammy and her family, since she never had a family of her own.
Tim and Susan kept the house and most of Mrs. Gillians belongings, but sold the rest. They stored the money for things they would need and for a later date when they deceided what to do with it. For they were now rich in the eyes of people around them. They did pay back their neighbors who were so kind to them during their hard times.

 


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