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Aquilla Claringbold
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Old 10-04-2009, 07:15 AM

Okay before you start reading, know this, there are drug references in this and I censored the story so there's kinda swears in it. It was written while under the influence, so yeah here it is.


Once there was this guy named bob and he totally got baked. This is the tale of Bob.

Bob sat alone in in apartment and looked at the clock,
which he did quite frequently. Bob arose from his laz'y-boy
recliner, walked into the small kitchen that was
attached to the living room and opened the frige. He
looked with dismay as he had run out of tequila. he
groaned and turned to the door.Bob stood there and
pondered whether or not a trip to the liqueur store was
worth it.He sluggishly turned his head to the fridge and
then back to the door. He took a few steps across the dingy
uncleaned carpet and turned to open the coat closet.
He reached into the closet and pulled out a light jacket and put it on.
he turned and opened the door and took a step out. Bob then turned around,
pulled a key out of his front left pocket of his dark green sweat pants
and proceeded to lock the door. He then walked out of his apartment
and turned left at the corner, he took a couple dozen steps
and turned to the left. He put his hand on the railing and
started making his way down the small set of stairs to the front door.
He took a step out. Bob then covered his hand over his eyes to help him adjust
to the sunlight. He turned and started walking down the street to the
small grocery shop down the road a few blocks. Bob began walking sluggishly
down the sidewalk. He stopped at a cross walk and looked for incoming cars.
Bob then crossed the cross walk and continued down the block. Bob then passed a person
on a petal bike, Bob shortly after realized that, that was his neighbor that was on
on the bike. Bob then continued walking and came to another corner, and out of nowhere
Vance motherf***ing Stubbs just like jumped out and shoved a piece of space cake into
bob's mouth. Bob felt every bone in his spine crack. Vance then randomly yelled
"Have fun mother f***er! Vance motherf***ing Stubbs is out!"
Bob then stood and wondered what the f*** just happened he looked at his shoes
and continued down the street. Bob then crossed the street into the small plaza.
Bob walked to the grocery on the other side of the parking lot. Bob walked to the doors
and they slid opened. He then walked in and walked to the section at the back that had liqueur
in it. He walked past the small selection of beers and stopped beside a small refrigerated area
that had the tequila. Bob grabbed a bottle and walked to the counter, He then payed for his
liqueur and walked out. Bob walked back to his apartment building and walked to his apartment.
Bob shifted the grocery bag to his right hand and pulled his key out of his left pocket.
He then opened the door, and closed it behind him. Bob walked to the kitchen and took the Tequila out
of the grocery bag. He then walked to the cabinet beside the fridge and pulled out a small shot glass
bob looked at the shot glass again and it turned purple before his very eyes.
Bob looked around and everything started becoming more mellow, he looked at his pink and orange Laz'y-boy
recliner and went and sat down. Bob then realized he was f***ing baked. Bob then looked
at the counter and realized he had forgotten his Tequila but still had the shot glass that had now become
a redish-orange color. He stoo d up and walked to the counter, he grabbed the tequila and walked
back to his lime green and yellow Laz'y-boy chair. Bob then put the shot glass on the table in
front of him. he then opened the bottle of Tequila and poured a shot glass nearly full.
Bob quickly downed the shot and slammed the shot glass on the table up-side-down.
He then sat back in his chair, Bob looked around the table and noticed a full bag of chips in grocery bag.
Bob didn't even realize that he has purchased chips. He walked to the counter and grabbed the bag of chips
and walked back to his red and purple chair and sat down. he opened the chips and began to eat them
'F***,' Bob thought 'these chips are f***ing epic.' All of a sudden Vance motherf***ing stubbs
then jumped in through the window and landed directly in front of Bob. Vance got up in Bob's face and yelled
"Mother f***er! I'm Vance Motherf***ing stubbs!" Bob stared at Him with a confused look on his face.
Vance then continued to yell, shouting "mother f***er! your f***ing baked" Vance then pushed his forefinger
into Bob's forehead, bob then felt his skull crack down the middle. Bob fell back in his chair as
Vance Motherf***ing stubbs jumped out the window screaming out "Vance motherf***ing stubbs is out!"
Bob then fell out of his chair, cause Bob fell over dead because of Vance motherf***ing Stubbs.

The end.

 



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