I used to be anorexic because I wanted to be thin. I thought I looked good, but when I look back at pictures from then I realized that I looked like a sickly skeleton. I had no energy and always felt terrible.
The thing is a lot of times these sorts of things stem from internal issues that you are holding on to. I had a low self esteem and it wasn't till I had gone through therapy that I started to love myself for who I am and be ok with the way my body is. I found that I wanted to be healthy and happy even if it meant that I wouldn't look like skelator anymore.
One thing to check out if you want people to talk to who are going through the same issues you are, but you don't want to tell anyone close to you would be
Overeaters Anonymous. They are a group similar to AA but they deal with eating issues, whether it is anorexia or binging. You'll be able to find a meeting in your area and you can go and sit in and not say a word if you want. Just check it out. What you will find is a lot of people going through the same issues you are and willing to talk, listen, and lend a helping hand.
If that doesn't seem like something you'd like I would really suggest seeking some form of therapy, whether from a hotline or through your insurance. Eating disorders more often then not stem from more than just the need to be skinny.
And if the thought of having a little healthy fat on your body sounds scary then here is a little fun consolation for you. Test have shown that women who have some healthy fat on their body age better than skinny women who don't. They get less wrinkles and can look up to 10 years younger.
With that whimsical thought I leave this to rest. Please look somewhere for help because you are worth it.