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Fortis Silas
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#1
Old 06-26-2010, 07:35 PM

Ugh...family. I love them to death, but really? How immature and closed minded can you get?

My girlfriend and I have been together for a while now, and the entire time has seemed to be a battle. Not because of herself or I, but because we were born with two separate skin colors.

I fought with my grandma over the fact that she openly insulted my girlfriend for her skin color, and that was okay. My best friend had to fight with her own mother because her mom wanted to kick me out for dating a black girl. Not too long ago my other grandma was talking about how someone at her work was warning her to "think of the children," and that I shouldn't date her because we may have mix-raced kids.

My grandpa did it, too! He's always been there to back me up and even when he didn't support my choices he would do his best to respect my wishes. As he's driving me back to my house from putting my car out to try and sell, he gives me a speech about how I'm setting myself up for heartache, that we shouldn't have kids because they'll be mixed race, and how he "doesn't think we're very serious" and "just friends" in an attempt to keep himself from realizing that I'm dating someone of a different race.

I'm just sick of it. "Not that serious"?

How would he feel knowing that when I get back to the city and wind up with a place of my own we were talking about living together? I love this woman, and she's somehow found a special place in my heart I never thought could exist after the last time I loved another. We're happy, and I'm stubborn enough that I'd rather get shot in the head than give in to their demands, but it's just...

...sometimes I wished they stopped caring, even for a second. Not because I need their support, but I'd appreciate it.

Grr. I can't wait to get back away from these guys and go back to the city. I need to clear my head of all this muck before I wind up putting a hole in my wall. ._.

Last edited by Fortis Silas; 06-26-2010 at 08:37 PM..

zazabar
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#2
Old 06-26-2010, 08:35 PM

I'm sorry that you have to deal with such racist family members. So many people shout about equality and leaving them alone, but when it happens to people they know, suddenly they change their tune. Do what is best for you man!

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#3
Old 06-26-2010, 09:15 PM

That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Well, not really, but you get the picture.

In this day in age, "mixed race" is so common that it's oftentimes hard to even notice! There is no heartache for these children, and there never will be. We're not in the 1950s, and even in the deep south things have shifted. A bit, but there's hope.

I just don't understand people. Especially white people. And I'm white, for sake of a better branding. I don't see what skin color has to do with love, let alone friendship. Or borrowing a cup of sugar.

I hope you get back to the city ASAP. :heart: You deserve understanding, and in my eyes it's safe to say that you're more likely to get the appropriate sort of understanding in densely-populated areas.

We can hope for the best, but there's never any changing people. No matter how backwoods and neanderthal their viewpoints are in the modern world.

Keyori
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#4
Old 06-26-2010, 09:43 PM

If that were my family, they wouldn't be invited to the wedding.

Tough on them.

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#5
Old 06-27-2010, 06:12 AM

My parents would rather I marry someone who is also Puerto Rican simply because they want me to get married on the island but they wouldn't make a big stink out of it. That and I probably won't ever get married anyway so whatever. Just keep your chin up, babe! Fuck what everyone else says, you're happy so they can suck it.

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#6
Old 06-27-2010, 05:29 PM

Good for you for standing your ground.
Just don't let them get to you, and remember to always defend her even if you're tired of fighting.
[You have told them this is the 20th century right?]

Anyway, I hope things work out for you, and that they maybe come to their senses and realize you're happy and wish you the best. :]

Fortis Silas
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#7
Old 06-27-2010, 09:23 PM

I've done my best to try and get them to see my way, and it's obvious they won't. That's okay, though. I've let them know that I'm not going to stop dating her just because they don't like it.

Apparently people seem to forget that one of the mixed race children they're so hellbent on preventing is our President. When I remind them of this, they brush it off with a "That's different."

:\

Maybe they'll figure out how serious it is eventually. Probably when they first pop 'round my new place and realize she'll be staying with me.

That'll be a fun surprise.

Iishii
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#8
Old 06-27-2010, 11:22 PM

Wow... just wow. =___=;; Some people just can't seem to get with the program. I've been seeing mixed couples here and I'm happy for them, just as I am happy for everyone else. Race alone has nothing to do with general interaction, we're all human last I checked.

I wish you and girlfriend the best of luck. ;-; <3

The Enchanted Tiara
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#9
Old 06-28-2010, 02:36 PM

These are probably older people. Am I wrong for thinking that? Because you have to understand, race equality has taken huge leaps in the past 50 years or so forward and some older people will remember times when races weren't so equal and have trouble believing that in such a short period of time things have really changed so much. Also, old prejudices that you were raised to have are sometimes hard to shake off completely, even if you're trying to really hard.

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#10
Old 06-29-2010, 08:43 AM

ah thats horrible! I guess it is hard for your family to adjust to the idea of their child getting together with another person of a different race. I think that mixed kids turn out to be beautiful and theres a chance of not interbreeding.. lol.. sorry just wanted to put it out there..

I hope you will have the strenght to solve all of this. If they your family do not understand about you and your woman, then you should just follow your heart and do whats right for you and not them.

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#11
Old 06-30-2010, 05:01 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Enchanted Tiara View Post
These are probably older people. Am I wrong for thinking that? Because you have to understand, race equality has taken huge leaps in the past 50 years or so forward and some older people will remember times when races weren't so equal and have trouble believing that in such a short period of time things have really changed so much. Also, old prejudices that you were raised to have are sometimes hard to shake off completely, even if you're trying to really hard.
This.

Old, ingrained prejudices ARE very hard to overcome. The same could be said for many things really -- just like if you can think positively, life will improve. It's all about changing your mindset. :yes: Unfortunately, that is harder to do than it is to type. XP

I'm sorry that your family is acting this way. I know this situation from my own life -- I also have family members who pull the race card on the regular, call people nasty names, etc. I do not approve of their way of thinking, but unfortunately they are too old to change their ways at this point.

Race relations have come VERY far in the past 50 years or so, and while the younger generations may have accepted this, those who are older have not. You kind of just have to ignore the mean, nasty comments and move on with your life.

If you end up marrying this woman and inviting your family to the wedding, they can choose not to come if it makes them uncomfortable. But you have to be sure they know you will not stand for any sass about it if they do decide to attend. :yes:

 


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