hello i rea;;y need some tips on writeing im not very good and would like to get better

here is a sample

"sora" he spoke my name with ease like nothing happened "we might not meet again"
riku no dont leave me,i tried to speak but nothing could come out so i pleaded with my eyes.he walked over to me his pale fingers brushed me cheek"sora" his voice was pure velvet like he was not even hurt at all"i have to leave you i apologize" he wraped his arms around me in a hug "gomen" he slowly started to fade as he walked away from me.

RIKU my arm shot out as i tried to catch him, my fist clenched grabbing his non-existent image, i droped to the floor landing on my knee's i felt something warm blood probably, whos i dont know and i dont care tears of blood ran down my cheeks leaving crimson trails behind. riku riku i know why i ran around the worlds to find you and i will do it again if i have to but but its because i love you riku i love youi love you i-i-

"I LOVE YOU"

heres another

naruto was bored he had nothing to do at all,so he called up some friends and asked them to hang out and of course he got some replies all who was coming was lee,shikamaru,neji,gaara,sasuke, and kiba.
once everyone arrived he tolded everyone to think of something to do...after a while they decided on truth or dare.
"so who is gonna go first?" kiba said happily
"why don't you sine you picked the game"spoke naruto ' but don't forget if you reject and question or dare you owe us all 20 dollars"
everyone groan at the idea.
"but wait thats 120 dollars"
'oh im so glad you can do math,lee" obviously annoyed " but are we gonna start?'
"ok' spoke kiba still happy "Naruto truth or dare"
"um...dare'
'i dare you to walk around the block boxers only"
naruto sighed 'really kiba really?" he took off his coat then his undershirt then his pants.
sasuke analized the blonds body
"NIPPLE RINGS???"
"uh...yea i got then when i was drunk one day" said the blond as he took them out
kiba coughed and said 'so gay"
"whatever kiba" naruto said as he walked out the door
a little while later naruto walked in and said "crap it was raining"
sasuke fought the urge to have a nose bleed,how just hot did the cute blond look so HOT.
naruto grabed his clothes and walked in the bath room to change his underwear and put on his clothes.
when he came out he sat back down next to sasuke "gaara, truth or dare?"
"truth"
"is it true you're gay?"
gaara blushed and mumbled something under his breath
"what was that i cant hear you/'
"i said yes" he said just loud enough to hear
"wow gaara just as i thought"
"lee, truth or dare?"
"i will choose dare"
"i dare you to jump off the top of the apartment's"
"will do i shall be back" and those were his last words ...............in the room that is.
everyone looked off the balcony and sure enough they saw a flash of green as lee passed buy.
a while later lee showed up in the room after he sat down he said "neji, truth or dare?"
"truth"
"is it true you like tenten like you want to date her?"
"not at all"
"aww poor tenten"
"what she likes me?"
"ha! you don't know"
"well yea"
so obvious'
BACK TO THE GAME" shouted naruto.
"ok ok fine, shikamaru truth or dare?"
"truth"
"is it true your a stoner?"
"nope"
"kiba truth or dare?"
"truth"
"damn to many truth's any way you ever kiss a girl??"
"uh no'
"aw sucks for you"
"whatever, sasuke truth of dare?"
"dare i guess but i was finally asked thank god"
"ok,make out with naruto!!"
"what!!!!" they both shouted
"you got 120$?"
"damn" sasuke looked at naruto "Well"
'just get it over with please'
sasuke pulled naruto in close for a kiss surprisingly his lips were soft.
it shocked everyone when naruto wrapped his arms around sasuke.
sasuke seized the opportunity to fit his tongue in narutos mouth.
"uh...guys......hello....guys?"
"GUYS!!!!"
sasuke and naruto pulled away blushing a bright red they looked at all the other guys shocked faces"um did you enjoy that?" kiba said disgusted
naruto did nothing but blush, but sasuke glared at the boys "and what if i did? would you have a problem with that?" sasuke said disgusted.
naruto looked at sasuke and back over to the shocked boys"can you guys go i need to talk to sasuke alone'
everyone just left with nothing else to say.
naruto look at sasukes angered face " sasuke....w-why did you say...that? did you really enjoy it...."
sasuke looked at the confused blond .
'yes i really did"
"but sasuke im a guy and how did you enjoy it?"
"because its what i wanted for so long i love you naruto i really truly do"
naruto gave sasuke a stare mixed with to many emotions to count " sasuke' i dont know what to say i really dont"
"just tell me what your thinking"
sasuke i-i dont love you...............but i think i wanna start i wanna learn to love you"
naruto dont force your self'
"im not i-im not forcing sasuke i just just......" narutos words were taken by tears , sasuke held the boy letting him cry in his arms not wanting to ever let go

its just something quick i wrote any tips i will take and use so please give me some cuz there really really bad

Is this for roleplaying?

Honestly, I'm not sure how to go about this without being mean, but my first hint would be to spell correctly, use proper grammar, and refrain from using blinding fonts. :I

mk is there anything else? you can be mean

Try an original story? Refrain from using characters from other anime/manga/books/tv shows/etc. If you develop your OWN characters, chances are, a story will start to unravel too. Original characters + Original plot and story = the ability to entice readers with your own unique imagination. :)

I have a few suggestions:

1) Use a word program. It will help with spell check and grammar and know how to USE spell check and grammar. I see a lot of people who just go through spell check and don't make sure it is changing to the word they WANT.

2) Correct punctuation always helps a reader understand what you're saying. This site could be helpful with punctuation. Also, correct use of capitalization is nicer to read.

3) If you're going to write use more DESCRIPTION. Dialog is good but there's no meat to the second story. We don't have a feel of a setting or the people you are using. It helps when you describe the person, where they are, the kinds of expressions YOU imagine would be in their face when they are speaking.

I know my grammar's not perfect but there are many resources on the internet that can help you.

I know you might not be asking for THIS sort of help, but the fact remains that poorly written stories tend to be a turn off for some people (like me). So, I suggest starting with that.

I'm going to move this on over to Lit Spot/Writing Discussion & Story Help where it belongs. :yes:

thank you people ^^

Someone up there said to use your own characters... I have to say that's not necessary. I've gotten quite good at writing though fan fiction, if that's your preferred medium. It won't help you at all with making your own characters, but if you really get into it, you can do just about anything you want with it.

mk

Using your sample...I'll make some improvements.

"Sora." He spoke my name with ease like nothing had happened "We might not meet again."

'Riku! No don't leave me!' I tried to speak but nothing could come out, so I pleaded with my eyes. He walked over to me, his pale fingers brushed me cheek.
"Sora," his voice was pure velvet, like he was not even hurt at all. "I have to leave you, I apologize." He wrapped his arms around me in a hug. "Gomen." He said as he walked away from me, slowly fading.

"RIKU!" My arm shot out as I tried to catch him, my fist clenched, grabbing his non-existent image. I dropped to the floor, landing on my knees. I felt something warm, blood probably, whose I didn't know and I didn't care. Tears of blood ran down my cheeks leaving crimson trails behind. "Riku, Riku I know why I ran around different worlds to find you... And I will do it again if I have to but but its because I love you Riku! I love you! I love you... I-I-"