You are driving me crzy lately. I can have a really good day then a horrible day the next. I cannot believe I lost an old friend... she has truly changed. Please stop being on your period and just regulate so I can have a good summer. Please... pretty please.
Dear C___,
Well... I guess you really do hate me for no reason at all. It was a misunderstanding... get over it. I came to you very maturely in private and you put it out in public. yeah what a good friend. I am not mad as much as I am hurt that you of all people would decide to up and leave. I have been there for you through thick and thing and you were my best friend until you started changing. Why did you change? I miss the old you and now we will never talk again... because you are so immature and ridiculous.
I also cannot believe that you invited Mari to the homestuck prom knowing she would tell me. How low is that? First you stab me in the back, break my heart, drive me crazy and now you want to drag me through shit don't you? I hope you know it didn't really bother me... Well... I guess this is it and the leaf has torn for good.
YOU, you sir
tick me off beyond belief.... to where you would do that to a friend? i cant beleiev you...i thought if i took a break from hanging out with you maybe things would be better but no you throughly ticked me off tonight i have lost so much respect for YOU
dear cuntstupidbitch,
Seriously what the fuck? are you really going to hold a grudge over me like that? i didn't even fucking do anything to you you petty little shit.
I will forever be the opposite of you all. You all have some rather unnecessary habits that ruin your own lives on a daily basis and cause our family to be stupid. I will never understand your need to "escape". I'd rather you face your problems instead of distancing yourself from them. I can't connect to you anymore. I won't try and change what you do and what you believe, but I will not succumb to that behavior. I will not change myself- as I will not change you. I will be s.x.e. forever. and I'm serious about it. I can only count on myself at this point .So I just hope that I won't end up like you guys. I was born this way- and I'd like to keep it that way.
Don't suggest that we go out on Saturday and then change your mind the next day, using the excuse that you were "drunk and sad" when you were speaking to me. :stare:
Your version of O Mio Babbino Caro had me gushing tears at work today! Just... wow.
I can't get over, how this kind of music really speaks to my soul. I don't even speak that language, and I had to look up the lyrics - and wow. The overwhelming sadness of them, just blew me away. I mean a woman throwing herself off a bridge, because of love? I don't know why it struck me so hard at this point in time, but it did. It took me to a place, where I imagined life without my husband, and the truth is I really don't think I could go on - simply because my heart would be so broken.
I know so many people would call me weak for it, and say you shouldn't let someone else define you - but I think it has less to do with my husband, than it appears. I think I'm just that kind of person, who gives her heart and soul away completely to one - and only one person. Maybe it'll make my life tragic, and make others think I've gone completely nuts, but I do understand the forlornness of this song, and the marred beauty that has been captured within these lyrics.
I've hidden my love for opera for a long time. Now, years and years after losing my grand mother I understand why I love it so. Not only because it reminds me of a person who I miss deeply, with each passing day - but because listening to it makes me think, long after the sound has fallen silent. To search so deep within myself, and touch on subjects so close to my heart... Most songs don't draw such after thoughts out in me. Thank you for your beautiful voice, a true gift from the Heavens, to be able to listen to you.
Dear friends, especially most of my online friends.
I am so sorry that I've been so out of touch for months, you might think I'm avoiding you, not wanting to keep in touch or something similar to that. It's not that at all. I've been so exhausted, I still am terribly exhausted because of... this house.
It hurts me so badly, I just want to break out in tears everyday since my health is really bad right now, I actually do cry sometimes but I'm a bit embarrassed over it. I never feel completely awake and I have had so many anxiety attacks I've lost count. I should've contacted this lady last year so that I could've moved to a flat by myself, not now when it's too late. I could've avoided ending up like this but I'll just hang in there until I move out within 3-4 months.
I'm the type of person that struggles to keep in touch with people when I'm drained. I just need to be alone to recover, how is that even possible when I become drained everyday in this house and haven't had a good nights sleep for over half a year? I'll never be in touch with anyone. Actually I was over at my sister's place and those 3 nights were the best nights I've had since I could sleep undisturbed until I woke up by myself. I could cry tears of joy because of her.
I'm still trying to keep in touch with my friends, maybe it will be fine. I just hope you don't think I dislike you.
I don't understand why you've brought your wedding date forward a year? We planned to try for a baby within this time, so it would fall before your big day, but now your wedding is a week before my actual due date. To say I'm shocked is an understatement. You want to be God Mother to our baby, and wanted to be there for the birth, but it's not going to be possible now. I know nobody is perfect, and I've been crap to you in the past - but cutting us out of your wedding really sucks. You were my maid of honour for a reason... My husband and I went out of our way to accomodate you, and your partner especially. You were doing that in the start for us too, but why have things suddenly been brought forward?
Your fiancee doesn't have a job at the moment, so you're paying for it out of your own pocket alone. So waiting until he gets a job makes more sense, than putting yourself through such a tough time financially. Then when I broke it to you that we wouldn't be able to come, as husband and I didn't want to risk the baby's health - you said sorry you couldn't change the date... Are you serious? Yes you could have, and yes you still can. I know it sounds so messed, to be complaining. We're only just one couple at your wedding, but I thought we were pretty much best friends? I guess we're not after all. It actually really hurt, when you told me you were shifting your date back to December this year - because I told your husband there would be no way I'd fit my brides maid dress anymore - and he just said "Ohh well, that's you cut out then." Like it didn't matter at all. It has actually really hurt my feelings...
Your fiancee told you he wanted to have another baby, and when I asked you when you were going to try again - you said when he gets a job. So why isn't it the same with your wedding? I just have a really bad feeling about you choosing December, when you've known for months and months now, that our baby was due in December too. The more I think about it, the less I want you as our baby's God Mother... You know how much heart ache husband and I had, trying for a baby for over a year. It was humiliating being asked all the time, what was wrong with me. Why I was so young, and seemed healthy, yet couldn't conceive. You were there every so often, seeing just how much of a challenge it was. Just how heart broken we were. Then you were with us when we lost our twins at 5 weeks. You saw how devastating the miscarriage was for us... You know just how important this baby is to us, but still to go ahead and drop your wedding on top of baby's due date. It's really upsetting. I feel worse when I think about the other three dates, you were going to go with. Dates that would have accommodated us.
Husband came home last night, and said he'd been thinking about it all day too. I revealed that I had been too - and I told him I was having a hard time understanding why you've done this - and he said "I remember when she went through that real selfish phase a few years back. It's just the selfishness coming back" and you know what? Selfish is a harsh word to sling around, when someone is planning their wedding - but it's freaking true.
I got to thinking about all the times you were a complete and utter jerk to me. Like asking if I wanted to hang out, and you'd say you'd come and pick me up. Then when you'd show up, you'd throw a massive fit at me, about having to pick me up LOL! Even our other friends said you were out of line, because they were there when you offered the ride. The time we drove to Burger King, and I had left my wallet at home. I asked if you'd purchase me one cheeseburger, and I'd pay you back as soon as I grabbed my wallet, and you said no. Proceeded to purchase a meal for yourself, and a cousin, and eat it in front of me. The time we went to Burger King again, and you'd forgotten your wallet, so you went through my glove compartment, and took out my parking meter money to pay for your meal - and refused to pay it back. When you walked through our house recently, and grabbed my toys that I'd put out of reach, of the kids - and gave to your daughter to play with, without asking. I sure as hell wouldn't be going through your belongings, and giving them to my kid, without asking first. There have been just so many times, you've done really horrible things...
Selfishness. When it comes out in you, it comes out in a big way. It just makes me remember why back then, I was best friends with A, and not you. Granted she's a douche head now - back then she was a lot more thoughtful than you. It really makes me want to change baby's God Mother, because do I really want somebody so selfish as my baby's guardian, if something happens to us? For you to just take our years of friendship, and shrug it off so easily is so wretched. I told husband last night I want to change God Parents, and he said he'd have to think about it. That's your saving grace at the moment.
I've never met you.
Seven years of dating your father, and all I've seen of you are photos passed along by your grandmother.
The one most prominent in my mind was taken when you were four. You wore a hula skirt and a fake banana-leaf bikini top for Halloween, and your dad knelt on one knee beside you, his arms around you and both of you with the same exact eyes, the same exact smile.
Fast forward twelve years, and you're almost a woman grown. Almost a woman, with questions.
Questions about your biological father.
He's been waiting, year upon year, for you to ask about him, to - dare he imagine it? - speak to him.
I've been given to understand that it's your mother who has barred you from speaking to him until you turn a certain age - and I also know that you've disobeyed that order by coming to speak to your dad, and that you show you're a good person by asking everyone involved not to tell your mother and step-father about the visit. I have nothing good to say about your step-father, so I won't say anything. Rest assured plenty is said when you're not around.
Ever since the time I was told that you want to have a relationship with your dad, I began to harbor a hope that maybe I would finally be able to meet you, and that we would have such a relationship that I could ask you to be one of my bridesmaids when your dad and I finally are married.
In the meantime, since we've been talking about moving in together, I've been looking at apartments. Always, in my searches, I keep you in mind: Every apartment I look at, I consider whether there's room enough for you, in the eventuality that you may want to come and hang out, or even want or need a place to crash away from the rest of the family.
Right now it seems as if everything in our lives are in limbo; we're both waiting on job applications, and we're both waiting until the day almost three years from now, when you can openly have a relationship with your father.
I can't describe just how much I'm looking forward to that day. I can't even imagine what it will be like, or what the intervening years and months will see.
OKay. So I love talking to you. But ever since that thing happened, you haven't really talked to me as much as you would like? Or as much as I would like. I guess it's because I moved and I'm lonely and have no more friends. Oh well. Whatever , I can deal. But it's like you only ever talk to me to update me on the NEW girlfriends that you have! Wow, thanks! As if I couldn't feel any more alone. Seriously, if you are mad DEEP down inside somewhere and only wish to make me miserable then CONGRATS! You succeed, and you've been hiding it very well. Because you act SO NICE to me. But it's like EVERY TIME you touch base on your current relationship status- you STOP TALKING TO ME! OH WAIT! you STOP talking to me once you have it clear that i'm "single" or still alone, so that it makes yourself feel better, and THEN you stop talking to me. Well sure! whatever. I can't really complain, because at least you talk to me- which is more than i can say for some...
Dear -----,
I'm sorry i can't talk to you easily over (even texting)! but I guess. YOU just didn't really appreciate me. YOU EVEN SAID THOSE EXACT WORDS TO ME! How do you think it feels to be not appreciated by someone you REALLY cared about and THOUGHT they cared aboutyou the same way? Yeah. We are just not the best friends that everyone thought we were - or even I thought we were. It's a real shame how I can keep in touch with that guy MORE than you! THE GIRL. I really have some way of making friends with dudes than chicks. Or maybe I just suck at making friends in general.
hmm i know this was like a month ago but regardless what you did still lingers and i cant remove it from my mind at all... you basically held a metaphorical shotgun to my head pulled the trigger! because of you im afraid to date...afraid that if i try im going to get crushed like nothing once again...i dont want this....i want to be normal...the pain has left slightly but it still sucks to be so afraid...you took my self esteem and just destroyed it..it doesnt exist because of [email protected]!!!!!
Holy crap! Seriously? ... Kids grow up fast these days ... All the stories about huggy crap, footsie games, and internet kisses lol. It feels a bit shocking to read all this sheite being said on neph's page. Or am I just old? LOL! FB wasn't around when I was 12, would my page have been like that? Flirty 12 year olds, what a scary thought X___X OMG! If I feel this way about a neph, who doesn't even see me as an aunt really, how the hell am I going to cope with my own kids growing up!?
I am the nail tech, NOT you. When you scheduled her appointment with me, you made her MY client. I have every right to want to consult with her on what she wants. You? Have NO right whatever to try and interfere in my client interaction. In fact, you have no right at all to interfere in the daily movements of our client schedules. WE are the ones who know what to do; WE will figure it all out on our own, with NO help from you.
Thank you ever so much for your lack of consideration.
Do you realize how ironic it is that I'm comforting you about someone you like dating someone else? I mean really? After we broke up, you went on loads of dates, and even went hot tubing with one guy, and I was again the one comforting you after you got broken up with. :(
Not to mention you and I for a while there. . .
And then when I started dating my fiance you were really happy for me, and I felt like I'd been a prick for being jealous of you when you were dating.
And at the moment I'm feeling like a prick again, for not being totally objective about the whole thing. You're an awesome friend, and I wish you the world of happiness, but with this guy, it wouldn't happen. That's just not the kind of relationship you guys have. I know you've liked him forever, I mean hell, you liked him when we were together, but that doesn't mean it would work. :( Ugh.
*Sigh* I'm sorry.
Dear God,
What's with the weird dreams? Why was I talking to that one. It was so random, and so. . . calming. :/ Should it have been? And why did I dream about the other. . . It was a similar dream I realize now. Does it mean anything?
Don't count me in on anything. I'm happy being me, not what you and your friends want me to be. I thought we hated the world together, but that's not the case. The world loves girls like you.
I could make you laugh. Always. Even now, I think. But I was replaced by a dozen other people. You must be busy; is that why you don't call? The hours you spend with them will only replace one with me. Do you enjoy wasting time?
Stop feeling depressed. You should be happy that you finally have a job that is in your degree field. You should be happy you can finally move out of the house. Stop feeling depressed about stuff.
Dear....
Sorry i've been reading your rants/thoughts for awhile now. And i can't help but think, your still lusting over someone else. I dunno if this is the same person you consistently talk about, or a multitude of different people. But anyhow i think i better stop reading your stuff before i start asking you some serious questions. All i can say is, you better not hurt my friend. And stop talking about other chicks, girls from your past and all that shit. Who cares about your past, it's a past for a reason. Move forward, settle down, and screw your damn head on. Seriously it makes me want to strangle you.
Dear world,
Wow lots of changes going on in the company at the mo. I so regret not applying for the MDP. I prob wouldn't have got in anyway. But i shoulda tryed. Im starting to feel like i really wanna move towards being a manager. But i guess thats going to take much more dedication & giving up my spare time. Hmmm, decisions, decisions. But anyhow, i guess theres a reason that i am where i am. Coulda had the chance to be a TL, but moved outta credit. Dunno how this always seems to happen to me. Opportunities open up as soon as i leave lol. Man just my luck!!
I hope things settle down for me in finance. Have been making a few too many mistakes. And not because i don't know how to do things. But because im rushing things, and not thinking before i do something. Gotta get my mind in it, and do a thorough good job, instead of a rushed average job. Can't wait for the payrise, i really hope it's good. I've been trying my best to send out good vibes.
Think clearly about the next steps you're going to take... You're knocking back so much of your student loan, and managing to save money. Sure, working is quite tiresome and stressful - but you are growing a fricken human being! So it's not like the physical aspect, of feeling drained is always going to be there. Work sucks for now, but it'll get better in the future. Plus the chick who fell pregnant and left before me, is always being brought up by the boss. So he obviously would open a door - if you approached him after the baby is born.
Full time child care is around $525 per week - and that's more than you make in a week. What would be the point of working, so all your money could go towards child care? Living on one income will be tough, and it'll be hard to throw in everything I've worked so hard towards. Not to mention the friends I've come to make at my job... but a mother is an incredibly important role too... Just got to sit down, write out lists, think it over, try to anticipate what is best for everybody... To be a working mother? Or a stay at home mother?
Dear Colorado,
Your liquor laws blow. Hard.
You can't even buy 3.2 beer after midnight. Wtf is that?
Back where I'm from, you can walk into a Walmart and buy whatever you want, whenever you want.
We might be rednecks, but at least we can get good booze. :talk2hand:
Regretfully,
The short girl with glasses who really wanted to get a little tipsy tonight
i dont know what you hope to accomplish by telling me you have a new bf, or that you are buying some "hot" short shorts. are you trying to make me jealous because i decided to back out? because at this point all you are doing is making yourself look like a fool and just being an annoyance.
You are my best friend. I love you and would do anything for you. I don't know what I would do without you. But for fuck sake please stop punishing me for going out with Chris. Okay, I know I made a mistake going out with a psychopathic pathological liar who can't keep it in his pants. I know that I shouldn't have sided with him. I know better than anyone I shouldn't. I lost most of my friends because of this. The fact that my entire relationship and sex life was so public also just adds to how much I regret everything. I don't need reminded constantly of what I've done in my past.
Please, can we just stop bringing everything back to Chris? No wonder it took me so long to move on. You, Cahal and Lewis won't let me forget that I was with him.
I appreciate that you and Cahal like going down memory lane about your time together, you're still on good terms with each other. I was fucking shoved through a mangle by that toxic relationship, so I don't really like chatting about the old times. I'm well aware that he had pictures of another girl on his phone, that we got amorous if we were drinking, that he lied to me about everything, that he made me cry and that he hit me. Okay, I know that.