Thread Tools

Ignorance
(-.-)zzZ
137.75
Send a message via AIM to Ignorance Send a message via MSN to Ignorance Send a message via Yahoo to Ignorance
Ignorance is offline
 
#1
Old 12-12-2007, 03:46 AM

A story I'm writing. o.o;

---

Infinity

'Fear is merely an apathy against time.'

A pair of sullen, downy feathers, exquisitely joined to form beautiful wings, the purest of white, but yet, there is something disturbing. It locks, engages, an apathy on human skin, fragile and growing, twists and locks its veins into their heart, and so, one cannot remove them, for if they did, their heart becomes intact and plunges out, ending their life. So many have fated this tragedy, a curse for a thousand years. And will there be a human, who will not fear this destiny?

Yes, these cursed feathers grant you the power of flight; but only sadness and grief befall those who contact with them. There has not been happiness achieved since these wings came;

Won't other people think wrongly of them? Ah, but my dear, only the host may see them, and that is why, you cannot cry for help, no matter what, and that might be, the absolute worst thing that can happen, if this tragedy falls upon you;

Chapter One, Farewell;

It is only the beginning of the book, how can it be time to say farewell already? My dears, this book is a tragic tale, nonetheless, if you are one of those people who are impatient, bored, and hate reading and would much rather be enjoying the sun; please do so. I have no need to force this book on you. If you are one who are only reading this simply for school, or because you were forced to, please, put the book down, I urge you, go play on your computer, or video games, I do not challenge those who are not interested in this book. Your mother might deny and punish you, but show her this, and if still not, please, pretend to read or read another book; if you have to be forced to read, I'd rather you not read at all.

Now, on the other hand, if you are one who enjoys reading, about serenity and calm, tragic tales, read on, read on. This is a book for those lovers, who enjoy surprises and twists, who love flipping endless pages about nonsense and words that make you go insane. If that is the reason you checked this book out, bought this book, or chose this book for any apparent reason, do so now, read on.

A fair warning; not all things are happy and carefree.

The Real Chapter One, Alone;

The deafening silence in the street offered little comfort to the shivering figure lying on its hard surface. Each tiny crackle, each gritty scratch, each hollow echo was heard and unwelcomed; each distinct noise reminded her of a number. The sound of sizzling hot meeting ice cold sounded came from a house across the empty street; A six that time. Minutes, hours, she could not tell, but a while ago the sound of billowing wind against harsh metal sounded; a distant 'ten'; the slight 'whoosh' of a fire dying out whispered 'nine'; the burble of boiling water laughed out 'eight', and the crackle of boot meeting dried leaf croaked 'seven'.

It was a countdown. A countdown to death? To liberty? She severly hoped the latter, but that was clinging on to an impossible dream. The child always turned her back on such things, but whenever following the road of life and meeting a crossroads, at the moment when she was facing sideways, able to see the future and the past evenly, she found her eyes always drew back to that abandoned dream. Dreams were like the wind. Always moving, never stopping unless it wanted to, and never doing so for long. One can only hope to cling to a wind, as you would cling to a dream, and let it take you anywhere it wanted to; either to your dream or to your nightmare, was for the wind to decide.

The sun was peeking out from behind the horizon, staining the sky a swirl of red, oranges, yellows and peaches. Her gaze followed an adult stepping out of his house, beaming at the sunrise. However, his smile disapppeared when his gaze settled on the frail figure. His eyes are so boring. Such a boring color. Brown. Chestnut met steely grey, and remained so for several seconds, before the man gave one last sneer and walked off in the opposite direction. Inspired by her tiny victory, she turned her head fully upwards, smile slowly working its way on cracked and chapped lips.

It was decided. When her countdown reached 'Zero', she would be facing against the wind, defiant, head held up high.

A sigh escaped said lips, the breath slowly making its way up to join the big winds. She smiled.

If no wind would come for her; she would just have to make her own.

---

All I have so far. xD
It sucks, yeah. I'm going to fix up Chapter One.
Critique, rate, comment, dunno.
Might be a few spelling errors, punctuation mistakes, eh. =x
Note: Edited & now, only part of Chapter One is there. xD

Gush
*^_^*
Banned
0.00
Send a message via AIM to Gush Send a message via MSN to Gush
Gush is offline
 
#2
Old 12-12-2007, 04:08 AM

Hmm.

Decent.

Then again, I'm pretty critical of literature. x]

Dramatic writing is hard, it's easy to over do it.

Bare that in mind, and I'm sure you can make it amazing.

Ignorance
(-.-)zzZ
137.75
Send a message via AIM to Ignorance Send a message via MSN to Ignorance Send a message via Yahoo to Ignorance
Ignorance is offline
 
#3
Old 12-12-2007, 04:15 AM

Thank you. =D

I think I'll edit chapter one, sounds too dramatic indeed.

 


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 

 
Forum Jump

no new posts