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lizzylizzleliz
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#1
Old 01-03-2008, 01:25 AM

My mom is a second grade teacher and is starting a mystery unit for her class, all the kids will have to write a mystery story that can be scaring, surprising, or funny. She asked me to write her an example trying to stay in the second grade level. So here it is, what do you guys think of it?

I took a deep breath as I entered the pizza parlor, something smelled fishy, partly because the group next to me was eating a shrimp pizza. Yet, there was more, in the air I sensed something afoot. I asked the manager if anything weird or creepy has happened.

As I was listening to his story, I grew bored. He said nothing interesting, “so and so ordered this, so and so ordered that.” Then I spotted him. He did not look remotely different from other people. His clothing was normal, he wore the latest styles, but I did not like the look on his face. He was up to something.

I could think of a million better ways to spend my birthday, but this guy was pretty suspicious. I knew that as a contribution to my town, I should find out what was up. So I decided my birthday would have to wait, this was a case I could not pass by.

I followed him all day long. He did the usual things, ate a pizza, went shopping, talked to friends and other normal stuff. Just one thing got me thinking, at the gift shop he bought something he tried not to let me see. Suddenly I got a new piece of mail.

As I opened my letter, I found it was from my friend, Gabby. Even better, it was an invitation to go to her home. Now, I wanted to go to my home, for a birthday party, but friends always come first with me!

I walked into Gabby’s house to find all my friends there. As I walked in the home
they all shouted “SURPISE!!” I was shocked to find the mystery man there! He explained to me that he was trying to keep me away from Gabby’s home as she set up the party! I was SO happy! From that moment on, I know that I will always keep making friends and keep all my friends I have!

lizzylizzleliz
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#2
Old 01-03-2008, 01:30 AM

My mom also asked me to write a harder one as an example of mysteries. I tried to keep it kind of easy for the little kids, heres what I came up with.


How great it is to be governor! William thought as he pulled up the driveway and entered his home. “Put dinner on!” he barked at Francis, the butler. To his maid, Beatrix, he asked “So, where’s the family?”
“Cassandra, sir, is at her friend’s dinner party. Elizabeth, sir, is at tutoring,” Beatrix stuttered, she was always nervous when directly confronting the governor.
“Oh yes, that’s right. Well then you might as well have the evening off,” responded the exhausted governor.
“Oh! Thank you so much, sir!” Beatrix curtsied and left the room.
William will have to live with eating chicken tonight, thought the butler, its all we got left.

“All right,” Inspector Houston accused, “you all must already be aware that you are the suspects for Governor William’s murder.”
Cassandra Gasped, Beatrix looked pale. Elizabeth looked heartbroken, and the grouchy butler looked amused.
“Do any of you have anything to say for yourselves?” interrogated the inspector.
The butler immediately began, “It wasn’t me! I was preparing the governor’s dinner, like he commanded, quite harshly I must add, me too!”
Beatrix looked incredibly nervous “I was…in the garden. William gave me the evening off, as no one was home.” Cassandra shot the maid an accusing glare.
“I was at a dinner party, remember, I was still there when you called me here! The dinner party was too far away for me to come here and get back,” Cassandra declared.
“And what about you?” Francis growled at Elizabeth.
“I-I was at tutoring. I w-would have n-never killed my f-father,” sobbed Elizabeth.
Interesting, thought the inspector, they all SEEM innocent. Aloud he said, “Okay, you all have acceptable alibis, but your motives are just as true. Cassandra, you and William had an argument last night, which turned out really bad, I’ve heard. Elizabeth, your over protective father does not approve of your boyfriend, which you hate him for. Francis, you blame William for your tiny pay check and believe that he is thinking of firing you. Beatrix, you are incredibly horribly treated and also get paid close to nothing. Have any of you anything to say to that?”
Francis and Beatrix both shook their heads, suddenly silenced. Cassandra cleared her throat “Ahem! My husband’s and my fights have nothing to do with the likes of you! Nothing serious went on and all was forgiven, now please stop accusing me of murdering my very own husband!”
Elizabeth nodded her head in agreement “I, also would not kill family, I do not care that he doesn’t like Fredrick! But, honestly, I would not kill my father! I doubt mother wouldn’t too!”
Houston stood up and left the room. As he walked across the hall to the dining room, where William’s body still lay, he pondered about the previous conversation. As he entered the dining room, he saw a dish towel and a set of keys on the ground, and the smell of burnt chicken wafted through the air, after watching blood drip down from the knife in William’s back he immediately knew who the murderer was.

Solution
The criminal was obviously Francis, the butler. His immediate answering of all questions and satisfied look supported this idea. Francis did not like his pay check, as he admitted in silence.
As for the evidence, it just supports the idea it was Francis. Francis, being a butler, had a set of keys to each and every door in the house, keys were found near the body. A dish towel found in the dining room shows that, along with his keys, Francis dropped it after making sure William was dead. The steak knife is William’s back shows that Francis would have easily thrown it across the hall into the awaiting victim’s back. All Francis then had to do was call the inspector, being the only one home he must had made the call, attempting to look innocent.

 


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