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Guitar Hero
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#1
Old 01-15-2008, 02:27 AM

This is a story I was working on with the help of a coulpe people. I know it isn't a lot, but please critique fairly.

Note: The name is just a forename; I have no clue what it's going to be at this time. And I'm not racist.

Ch 1

I hate him. I hate everything he stands for. I raised my hand to feel the lump on my head. It was still sensitive, so I quickly pulled back. I brought myself to a stand and looked around. Bookcases, files spilled about the floor… I had this room well memorized. It’s where my father threw me into after we had a dispute. Due to his lifestyle, we had quite a few. So accordingly, I had seen this room enough.

Trinitydoll
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#2
Old 01-15-2008, 02:55 AM

well..sounds good for a start n_n

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#3
Old 01-15-2008, 04:44 AM

Yea, I've been distracted lately.

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#4
Old 01-15-2008, 11:24 PM

Great job Hero! It sounds really nice, I can get a clear picture of that scene!

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#5
Old 01-17-2008, 01:51 PM

I really like the beginning and would love to read more ^^

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#6
Old 01-23-2008, 08:29 PM

This sounds REAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLY good. I hope you do more.

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#7
Old 01-29-2008, 07:14 AM

I love the beginning, I can really see that scene in my mind. Keep going!

 


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