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Caroline
stay gold
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05-12-2007, 04:01 PM
- Constructive criticism is greatly appreciated. <3
Seriously, don't be afraid to point out ways I could make the story better. :) I'll take all suggestions into consideration when I revise and edit for my final entry.
Nous sommes infini
The fabric draped off her bare shoulders and wrapped across her chest, softly hugging each curve and winding its way backwards again, snaking around her waist like a lover's embrace. The milky white sash was gathered up and held in place by a crimson plush heart, perfectly cushioning the area where her hipbone poked out. The remaining fabric brushed down against her thigh. Mabel ran her piano fingers along the length of the material, feeling its cool smoothness before it warmed up to her body heat. She had found this treasure in her elementary school best friend's Memory Box. Neither of them knew how it had gotten there among toddler drawings and secret diaries, but as eight-year-olds are prone to do with beautiful clothing, they had worn it in all fashions tied around their small bodies. The summer after elementary school ended, Mabel's father got a new job and moved the family three hundred miles away to the other end of the state. Mabel had received the sash as a goodbye present from her friend -- "For you, and only you. No one else."
Mabel sighed at the sweet memories the sash evoked. This had been over four years ago. She tucked the plush heart into her pocket and out of the way, and stepped outside her new high school best friend's room. Colin was sitting on a patio chair, looking into the dark.
"Hey," she whispered.
He looked up and smiled at her. "Let's go."
Colin walked up to the wooden backyard gate and opened it. The two walked out to the sidewalk in front of Colin's house. He grabbed her hand and they looked at each other. His eyes were bright in the moonlight.
"Come on."
The two friends ran down the sidewalk towards the beach, giggling as if they had never snuck out before. The salty breeze rushed around them, pressing their thin clothing against their bodies and bringing life into the little red beads trailing from the end of Mabel's sash. The beach was always prettiest in the twilight hours. The pavement below gave way to grass, followed by sand and rock. The couple's hands loosened as they began climbing the rocks, slightly afraid they would lose their footing in the dark and plunge down into the depths of the Pacific Ocean, but climbing on anyways, full of adrenaline.
They chose a spot at the very top, overlooking the ocean, and lay down. The stars hung above like deadly geometry, shining shrapnel that fell and graced onlookers with a glimpse of the prettiest suicide.
"Are you going to make a wish?" Mabel asked.
"I did," Colin replied with a smirk. One couldn't help but do silly things like wishing on falling stars when one was at [what felt like] the top of the world.
The pair lay still, side by side, staring at the skyscape above them. The only audible sounds were their soft breaths and the gentle crashing of waves against rock. Mabel pulled the heart out of her pocket. It felt warm, and her cold fingertips pulsed at the temperature change. Out of the corner of her eye, she watched her best friend. Everything was calm. Everything was beautiful.
Something amazing is going to happen tonight.
Pulse. Inhale. Pulse. Exhale. Pulse. Pulse.
Adrenaline can give people the strength to do things they normally couldn't.
"Colin."
The soft whisper woke Colin from his trance-like state and he turned around to face Mabel. Mabel hesitated for only half a second before doing what she had wanted to do since she saw him on the first day of high school. Their lips touched as awkwardly as Mabel had imagined they would.
The things you regret most in life are the things you didn't do.
He's still here, she thought. With you and only you. No one else. Something amazing is happening tonight. And in that second the awkwardness fell away; she placed his hand on the plush heart at her hip, and lips touching became lovers kissing. "I love you" transcended friendship. For once, Mabel felt an embrace as warm and loving as the gift sash, and the pulsing of two sets of cold fingers intertwined gave life to the plush heart.
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Caroline
stay gold
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05-12-2007, 04:01 PM
- Reserved for a second story.
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Caroline
stay gold
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05-12-2007, 04:01 PM
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Celeris
(-.-)zzZ
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05-12-2007, 05:17 PM
Your story is very well written and the description is awesome. I personally can't find anything to add to it. :D
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Caroline
stay gold
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05-13-2007, 05:57 AM
- Really? Thank you, Celeris. ^^
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