
06-26-2007, 01:18 AM
It was exactly what everybody had said it would be. Great, glittering balls of light like fireflies sparkling against the pitch black canvas of space. Glimmering swirls of rock and ice floating about. Orbs in painted mixtures of orange and red, blue and white. The majesty of space. At least, the beauty was everything I'd expected.
I had always wanted to know more about where I'd come from. My father had not been mine from birth. I knew the story, though it was hard to imagine any life without him or Lluvin. Years ago, when I was still just old enough to walk, there'd been a raid. They'd come and plundered my home. They'd killed my parents, and everyone else in the area, but somehow, I survived.
Lluvin told me I'd snuck on board somehow. They still don't know how. I guess I must have, because I know my father wouldn't have hesitated to kill me along with my family. But once I was on board...well, what harm could it do to keep me? Besides, Lluvin took a fancy to me-- he needed a playmate. He was only a few years old himself at the time, not much more than a child.
We grew up together amongst them. They were a ragged lot at best, my family. Scoundrels the lot of them, but I didn't know any better. I learned to fight and they kept me safe. Father got attached after a while, and wouldn't allow me to be put at risk. Lluvin was the only one who understood my desire to prove myself. It didn't matter that I was a girl, I could fight with the lot of them. He'd been given his first real chance at twelve, and even when I was fifteen I had to stay planet-side.
The boys always told me stories about their adventures, though. I grew more and more desperate to join them on their exploits. I was tired of staying behind.
I worked so hard to get to space, too. I spent years practicing, training, begging. My father refused. He said that it was too dangerous. For years I worked to prove myself worthy. Lluvin helped. He got them to take me on missions planet-side. Small raids, nothing big. Nothing really dangerous. At least, not as long as he was with me. He always protected me.
He told me about space. He'd been there before. I thought that somewhere as magnificent as space must hold all the answers. It was so vast. There were so many people, so much left still unexplored. And the stars...the stars were so beautiful from Yitik, they must be more beautiful from the bow of a ship.
The poets wrote about the song of the stars. How beautiful it was to hear their voices. How listening to the stars made them at peace with the world, gave them insight into the condition of it. Gave them inspiration.
I spun around on the deck, dancing in the starlight. Beautiful as it was, though, I heard no song. No secrets of the universe were divined to me. I understood the world just as well after bathing in the glory of the cosmos as I did before.
I realized that in the end, all the answers I was seeking had been right there next to me all along. I knew who I was and where I was going. I knew what I needed. I had to find him. He was out there, somewhere. While I danced amongst the stars, he was out there searching for the truth.
I had carved my name in the stars, so to speak. It had only taken a few years before the Elite knew my name.
Unlike my father, I focused on them. I wanted to take from those who had more to give-- from those who denied others their due. I stole from an Elite Elder once. It was probably what got me my name as a Great. They upped the bounty by 700,000 Dina, then.
I told him
I don't know why I told Lluvin about the Light, though. I guess I just found the story so intriguing...it must've been an accident. I knew, even then, what he would do. I'd never have told him if I'd been thinking clearly. It was like something came over me, though. I started speaking in a language I didn't know I understood, and he yelled. He'd never yelled at me before, but he looked furious. I couldn't understand what he was saying, but it wasn't good.
He wasn't one of us. He didn't understand.
He asked me what I'd said, and I told him, though I hadn't thought I'd known. It hadn't made sense when I said it. His eyes got so wide. I hadn't seen him since I'd gone to space, and then, a minute after I saw him, he left. He just...ran off.
I was mistaken.
I know he's going after it, but he can't. It's too dangerous. Even for him. Even for me. Nobody could get to the Light except the Gods Incarnate, and that's just a myth anyhow. Bells, I'm not even sure the Light's real.
I must fix my mistake.
But I have to go after him. He'll destroy the world if he takes it away.
I have to stop him, whatever the cost
I can't let him...but I don't know if I can stop him, either.
I must find the others
But I have to do this on my own. If I get help, Lluvin could get hurt.
No. I must find the others.
I must...
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