Sounds like he's in a vicious cycle. I wouldn't put it against him that he's really afraid of trying, too. What happened to him talking about getting a better job by spring awhile back?

Well the guy I was fuming about a bit ago is 52 and had a baby with a 24 year old SO yeah... as long as it's not like that.

Yeah taco bell doesn't really pay the bills on your own. Me and Russ are good because for one he's a manager and for two living together essentially cuts other bills in half so.

Oh, eww...my friend's baby daddy did that. Then came and got my friend pregnant a year later. Jackass.

Yeah, it's so much easier when bills go from 400 to 200 a month, etc.

yeah eeeew indeed the guy even "got her" on her rebound from a very serious relationship so he knew exactly what he was doing -.-

Indeed it is, I mean there's a few things that are a bit more because of him but over all still much cheaper to live together.

What about being a manager a taco bell Ser? maybe that would be easier then getting a whole new job. Plus even a studio that is all your own is an improvement over living with that

Mike is a manager ^^" The Taco Bells in Rochester suck.
Yeah, and the Taco Bells in our area, the managers there are paid the least in the area. Where I worked, the manager's starting pay is $11 an hr. Mike when he became a manager, he got a 50cent raise. He still makes under $10 an hr, has been there for over 6 years (though 2 of them he was there during breaks because of school), and he has been a manager since the Fall of 2010. He knows he's going nowhere at this place. But, this motivation he needs to have is constantly being shot down by the negativity of his home life.
I was afraid of this when he went home on Tuesday. I should have told him that I didn't want him to go home because I was afraid they were going to keep him down. :/

Yeah... About that. That was before all of this shit with his family went downhill. I do and don't see wtf is wrong with it. I guess I should actually go there sometimes during spring break and spend some time there to see what he means.
But, from what he's saying it's a mixture of a few things. I mean come on, wtf is wrong with mom telling you and your brother to make dinner 1 night a week each? first off, she's been cooking for you all most nights for a long time. She works till 4, doesn't get home till almost 5, I don't see a problem with that... I mean come on, the 2 boys who still live at home are 25 (mike) and 27 (the middle boy). There is no problem there. The two of them are old enough to be living on their own. I mean come on, what's gonna happen if they didn't do this and then went and moved out, the brother would be living off of hot pockets, instant food and some food he knows how to cook. Mike would be living off of Ramen, and a few things he knows how to cook from cooking with me. I can see a little bit of the whole him not liking how she would "ask" them. But, he needs to see it from her pov somtimes.
I guess I understand that a bit differently because I have been cooking in a sense since I was 16ish.

There are other things also, but he really doesn't talk about it which annoys me.

That is lame Russ makes 11.25 plus bonuses so maybe just bitch for a raise? Plus I'm not sure what cost of living is out there but like I said I did a studio in Denver on a fast food pay check for years, it's all about what your will to sacrifice. So if it's his mom cooking and cleaning for him that he's not willing to do then eeeh I don't know what to tell you.

I have been cooking dinner for my family at LEAST once a week since I was 14. Full on dinners with more than one course/dish, and dessert. If that's his only miff, then I'm sorry. What a brat. There must be something else going on with his family life, because if that's it...he lost a lot of my goodwill. This is why I say he's scared of something. Most likely he's scared of having to move on from his old life and grow a little. I get that, I do, but he's too old to still be stuck there.

Originally Posted by Bound Birdie

That is lame Russ makes 11.25 plus bonuses so maybe just bitch for a raise? Plus I'm not sure what cost of living is out there but like I said I did a studio in Denver on a fast food pay check for years, it's all about what your will to sacrifice. So if it's his mom cooking and cleaning for him that he's not willing to do then eeeh I don't know what to tell you.

Yeah... It's lame. They all don't make a whole lot (the "managers"), are expected to do a whole lot. He probably makes the least. I dunno what the other ones make. I just know he's not the only one who's planning on leaving. A friend of ours who is a manager is trying to get a job as a 911 operator. She's taking the Civil Service test for it in a bit. Cost of living kinda sucks in NY, minimum wage is $7,25hr-ish. The district manager for the ones in the area is a d-bag.

Originally Posted by ElysiumFate

I have been cooking dinner for my family at LEAST once a week since I was 14. Full on dinners with more than one course/dish, and dessert. If that's his only miff, then I'm sorry. What a brat. There must be something else going on with his family life, because if that's it...he lost a lot of my goodwill. This is why I say he's scared of something. Most likely he's scared of having to move on from his old life and grow a little. I get that, I do, but he's too old to still be stuck there.

Oh there's more to it than just the cooking one. He's fine with cooking dinner, it's just a lot of pressure for him to do good and the varied tastes they have. I know there's more to it, I just don't remember off the top of my head. That's just one of many things from what he's told me, and he says it a lot because he usually messes up somehow. The last 2 nights he's tried to cook, he's failed and had to either microwave (because of time constraints), or go grab pizza because everything burned. Major blow to his ego.

He is too old to be stuck there, he might be a bit scared of failing if he were to up and move out now. At least with me in the equation I could supplement costs. But, he also has this thing of how he doesn't want to do an apartment. I just want to tell him that it's a good option to start. But, oh well.

You should point him in the direction of "foodwishes" on youtube. If I weren't religious I would worship that man's skills. He has hundreds upon hundreds of recipe vids that are very easy to follow and replicate.

My mum won't eat anything. I just make her cook for herself... If I ever have kids I WILL be one of those moms who says "eat it or go hungry."

But anyway, I understand not wanting to waste money on an apartment, but if he doesn't want to do that then he needs to get a real job.

Yeah. I should show him stuff like that. I know when we're cooking together, he's awesoem. He feels more at peace and calm when we're cooking together or he's cooking for me.

Yeah. I know he needs to get a real job, he knows. I just don't know wtf is wrong with him with that. He talks bout not being motivated... I thought a- me being away at school getting my Master's would help motivate him to do something, b- the fact that in less than 2 years when I come home an finish my degree and would need somewhere to live would also help, c- spending the week with me would help.
UGH

---------- Post added 02-22-2013 at 12:52 AM ----------

That's why I'm a bit more adventerous with my food. I wasn't too picky growing up, and my mom was the one who told my brother and I if we didn't like it, too bad she wasn't making a separate meal for us.
That is how our children will be.

Yeah, he's got a very calming voice. It'd probably help him a lot. If foodwishes doesn't have the recipe, no one does.

Well you can expect a miracle after he's just spent one week with you, but he should be trying harder. It just sounds like he has bad anxiety and perhaps depression. He probably doesn't like doing that kind of "social" thing of putting himself out there and looking for jobs/interviewing. It's kinda something that comes with the territory of psoriasis and such.

Yeah, all that does play a part with him and his anxiety to really do anything social a bit.
He does go out, but putting himself out there for jobs and such isn't too easy because of a bunch of things.

I should look into them and then show them to him when I come home for Spring break in a few weeks

(=steps in and takes a seat= hey there!)

Jobs are a whole different kind of anxiety. Especially when you're applying for simple jobs and they still won't hire you.

Hey, Star. :)

Yeah I HATE job searching, some nights (or some pay days) I remember how much more I got paid for such less physical effort. But then getting a new one, that will still let me have all my perks like working with Russ and purple hair, would be a pain, pulse I'd have to re-figure out the school thing, so it's just eaiser to just stay and deal for now, till I'm done with these last 4- 5 classes.

Hey! Ahhhyeah I feel ya. Getting a new job, although it can have some pluses, can also be a major hassle. :(

Oh so do I. Which is why I'm a little paranoid of looking into this student assistant job in the library here on campus. But, it looks like it would be good and I need no experience... I'm a bit anxious over it, but I will inquire about it and take the chance and try to get it and get the f out of the job I have now.

Yeah, it's a lot easier to apply for jobs when you have a job already. Of course some companies will fire you for that...which is stupid because then they have to give you unemployment while you're looking for a new job.

Wait, they have to give you unemployment if they fire you for looking for a new job? I mean, I've never been in that situation but I had no idea.

They have to give you unemployment if they fire you, period. Unless you did something really wrong...like say, stealing money from the cash register, missed a lot of days of work without explanation, etc.

If you quit kiss your unemployment goodbye. This is why employers start doing shit to you slowly over time, like lowering your pay, upping your hours, making you work hours you told them you can't, just so you'll quit and you can't claim unemployment.

That. Huh. I seeeee. Excuse me while I go hunt down some people who seriously need to get a slap to the face with a fish.

Ex employers I take it?

haha yea. Some very rude ones that I had suspected that's what they were doing...but now I'm fairly sure of it? My last job, as soon as winter break ended I suddenly had no hours. They weren't scheduling me for more than 6 hours a week, but then they'd just try to call me in whenever.

But whatever. No big deal. If all goes well, I'll get to spend my summer working in London. At a high cost, sure, but I think it'd be worth it.

Living in London is always worth it. :)

But yeah, that's probably exactly what they were doing, unfortunately. Too bad it's too late to get them for it.

lol well they never did send me a W-2 for the last few hours I did work. Though in the end, it's still not like I actually care that much? I dunno. I just figure they're not my problem anymore.