*hopes for good news with, Chi, too*
hang in ther, Izumi ♥!

@Chi - It's more along the lines of bizarre and creepy. I'm just logging on during my lunch break, so I will give the abridged version. Basically the ex-wife has told my husband that she's concerned about her health and made him promise that if anything happens to her that we would let them finish up the school year up there. He of course said sure, but has no intentions of letting them live full time with just her boyfriend. We will definitely let them visit him from time to time without any problems, but the moment she passes away we are taking full custody of them, no questions asked.

It's weird because she has made no attempt to go to a doctor due to not having any insurance (and once again no job), and she KNOWS she has a family history that is stacked against her when it comes to female reproductive issues (I think cancerous, I don't know the extent). Rather than get checked out, she's basically chosen to die kinda mentality. I mean I can understand to a certain degree, but I think it's absurd if you KNOW something is definitely not right and it won't 'get better with time' to sit on your laurels over money issues. :/

Wow. Do you think she's actually sick? O_o

Those poor kids. Honestly. Hopefully she has legalities in order. At the risk of possibly sounding odd, do you think she's considering suicide? That's a little odd behavior to come out of nowhere, but I know people deal with sickness and possible death differently.

You know...I never really thought about that...I should mention it to Aaron, as I do find it odd. I had to do a double take when he told me.

I'm getting nagged at my husband to call the doctor, by the way, due to having insomnia. It's stress related, and it doesn't help that I was drinking coffee last night then went to Mio Energy last night. I'm sure I'll nap here soon.

Definitely go get checked out. It's not surprising me with the general stress, and it's coming up on one year since your brother died, right? But rule out any sickness, too. :(

Yah that whole one year anniversary thing has been weighing pretty heavily on my mind recently.

I just generally hate going to the doctor as the past several times I've gone up they've just tried to for instance tie it into my weight saying I need to address it. I've done that, and my diet. I also don't want to be put on more medications if I can help it. I really don't want to pay $30 to be told it will go away on it's own or there's really not a fix for this.

Weight does play into a lot of factors, and you can feel comfortable with my saying it because you know I'm in the same boat as far as chubb goes. But I've also been there where I can't have a sniffle without someone telling me I'd be perfectly healthy if I were thin. Well, no, I won't. Over time they've been proven wrong with all of my food and chemical sensitivities. Those won't go away--period.

I'm not a doctor. I do know how stress screws everything up. You've been under a lot with having to juggle a lot of hours at work, on top of your brother's death anniversary stress and heartache. I think it's normal to have issues sleeping.

Have you tried exercising? I don't mean heavily. I will say that even short walks will help the brain release some feel good chemicals. That can help begin to reset your body.

If you don't get better soon, I would go to the doctor though because sometimes vitamin and mineral levels can be low and set you off whack. It would be nice to go and have them say it's just a multivitamin you need, hey? You can refuse any heavy medication anyway.

If it's been a while since you had a general checkup, you may want to just to rule out any small things that could be messing up your system. (Speaking of, I have blood work tomorrow. On the weight thing? I've skyrocketed for no reason.. no change in diet/activity, and I keep gaining. He thinks it's my thyroid, and up until now I've been the only family member to avoid it. We'll see. It's either that or insulin resistance.) In short, I DO need to exercise more. I'll probably try a low carb diet for the time being. After Terra was born I ate a pile of carbs because I was on my own most mornings/early afternoons and with a newborn you grab what you can get. I didn't know that I needed a lot of protein. I was probably only getting half of my recommended amounts. I do think this is why my milk supply was so low, and why it came back up after I found the research on my own.

Before I found out, though, I ended up having anxiety attacks for no reason whatsoever. It was my blood sugar. After I switched back to eggs in the morning and heartier (in terms of protein, I mean) meals all around, it went away. My point is, after this ridiculous ramble, is that sometimes whatever is going on with us can be fixed with dietary and habitual changes. Sometimes not though, which is why you should consider getting to a doc!

i adore your posts, Chi.
i don't find them ramblesome at all.
i wish i was as good at expressing myself as you are.

Sorry for not responding, Chi. I get it. And if it continues to be an issue I will go. I just want to make sure I try everything possible FIRST before seeking their help, so if they say "You gotta try this" and it's something I can do without a prescription or referral to another doctor I can tell them I've been there and done that. I really don't want them to give me some half assed answer and walk away.

Since I've been watching my caffeine intake and making sure to cut it out at a reasonable hour, I've found that helps. I've also have found myself not as stressed out, but I have found a 'natural remedy', that when used sparingly helps a lot. Others may or may not approve of it, but my take is that everything in moderation and even things that are considered right can be abused. (In other words: Bite me.)

Don't mind my crabbiness right now. I'm alright, and will get through the day. It's just that work has been causing issues. They've been borking servers and I seem to be stuck on a particularly bad one. Wish they'd write me off on a tech day and I could go relax.

@hummy
<33 Thank you!

@Izumi
Hey, I'm all for natural methods. I hate when most things are approached with, "Here, take this pill." What is your method? Or were you referring to the caffeine consumption being cut back?

Hopefully work got better!

Someone I school with said her agency is looking for a part-time case manager. I'm going to see if it's still open and ask details. Not sure what I hope for at this point!

good luck with the job, Chi.
i hope it's a good fit for you and your family.

I'll have to check into a lot of components. Right now we're all under free state health insurance, and if I made too much and we lost it, it may not be worth it. It's risky from now until graduation where I know I'll be working in a place that has great health benefits.

Either way, I won't know 'till I hear back! If it's meant to be it's meant to be. :)

Heh lets just say it isn't legal in all states. It isn't something I do every day, and when I do in very small doses. I'm very much functioning just fine, without all the stress and wound up feeling. I am a VERY high strung individual and all it takes is something stupid going wrong at work to get me all bent out of shape. Just to get through it on Tuesday, because it was so bad, I got it out and just had enough to get me through that night. I seriously felt like crying as management were being really jerky about the clients server issues, and were EXPECTING us to run at full capacity even though the latency was making our job very difficult. We have to take multiple chats at once, and a lot of people don't appreciate the fact, so when you get a bunch of people getting antsy and going HELLO???? it makes you kinda get pissed off....it's not like you're sitting there with your finder up your butt, and I definitely know it isn't an issue with my typing speeds.

GAH.

Anyways I'm on my break and I should be relaxing, not spazzing out. :XP

i hope your server problems are fixed.
i'll remember that next time i chat online with any customer service person.

You're holding down a job, functioning... so do what you gotta, safely. :)

Hopefully work stress goes down soon!

*screams*
i forrgot you had a jelly head, Chi.
very scary.

@Chi - That's exactly how I see it too. ;)

@hummy
I think it's cute. :XD


Hmm.. I got an email back, both from the daycare and the supervisor of the job I mentioned. The daycare thing looks promising, so I set up a time to take a tour. I'll call the supervisor once Terra goes down for a nap. I hope it's something that fits my schedule!

Chi, do you have or know someone who is selling a Purple Flight Commander Cap?

Nope, sorry. :( I didn't get extras of the auctioneer items. I didn't think it would be fair as they were limited enough as is.

it's fine. And yeah, I'm kicking myself in the rear for not trying to get the cap when it was released. But gold was a bit low and I didn't think I'd really use it.

I try to keep up with them, but it's hard. Gold is more difficult to get unless you're an active poster and gamer. I wish I had more money to donate for CIs and sell them. >.>

Yeah, I know what you mean. And same here with having the money to donate. I used to be able to donate $10 a month but money got tight. I think this month is the first month in nearly a year that I was able to donate.

I could do $5, but I'd just keep the set for myself. Though I may have a new job lined up that will leave us with a little bit excess. We have a LOT of credit card debt to take care of, but $5 or $10 a month wouldn't kill us.

Depends if I land it though.

That's good to hear. :) And yeah, we just paid off roughly half of the credit card debt we have.

I got faith in you. :)