Ooh, you're painting, Lon?

i'm all done! finally. whooo that took forever. we finally finished on... tuesday? hubby kept finding more and more to paint. :P

I want a mcDonalds Parfait please... mail it to me :P

haha ok zephikins! *mails it*

*anxiously waits by the post office for a smelly package* XD

bahaha it'd be pretty rotten and smelly by the time it got to you. :rofl:

It sure would... I don't think I'd eat that. Probably one of the few things that I wouldn't eat. In my book, there are a few categories for food:

fresh
good stuff
ok
kinda old
still edible
rotten

I had a sammich that I forgot at work for a week cause it was "still edible"

ewww i wouldn't eat anything past ok. :P *barfs a little in her mouth*

My husband can hardly eat anything past fresh without getting sick to his stomach. :rofl: I have a stomach of iron. Musta been all thet time in Afghanistan... but maggots still make me queesy...

ewww!!! maggots!?!?!?! :O

Kimby is going to the psych ward again tomorrow. Just visiting like last time. Still nervous even though I did it already, but I don't know how I'm going to react or if I'm going to be able to keep my emotional boundaries functioning. I did pretty good last time. I am there to help but also to help myself. And to keep an attitude of gratitude because it could be me on the inside and not all that long ago I was.

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Originally Posted by llonka

ewww!!! maggots!?!?!?! :O

eew eew eew eew eew

Spiders and snakes don't bother me much but maggots are just creepy!!!

how did it go kimby? i hope well!

Spiders aren't so bad if they are minding their own business, I'm mindful for snakes cause if I go in their home, they might be there. Like if they come in my home, I'd be pissed off too.. maggots are just a no.. plain old no..

Yes kimby, how did it go? Were the girls receptive again? Did you end up staying as long as you were hoping that you would stay? :)

I did ok while I was there. This time I stayed longer. 3 hours? I managed to keep it together, keep up some kind of emotional boundary. I am not sure what is going to be most helpful. If I keep my boundaries up I'm no different from the therapists right? But that's what I want to be eventually. But the reason I keep getting invited back is so I can learn to deal with intense emotions being beamed my way from others. I know they aren't really beaming at me but thats how it feels to me.

So I kept it up, and mom and me are heading back to the car, she is telling me how I really did a good job and I can't wait to get in the car and shut the door so I can SCREAM!! This boundary stuff doesn't block out the emotions, it just saves them up so they can all hit me at once when I can't keep it up anymore. I didn't have any restraints so I had to pretend the seatbelt was locked. =3

My therapist says this empathic response is a gift. I am trying to learn how to appreciate it and use it to help myself and others. I'm not afraid of it anymore but that doesn't make it any easier.

I can't talk about the specific feelings I picked up from some of the girls. Maybe when I've processed it more but right now, let's just say it was intense and it took me the rest of the day Saturday and all of Sunday to process it out. I hope somebody felt better, or had some hope from my contact.

I totally just flipped off my bike :XD

Wow kimby, if you do want to be a therapist, it definitely does sound like a gift because you'll really be able to connect with your patients, you know, when you want to. Hopefully you'll learn how to control it so that the emotions aren't too overwhelming or you feel like you're going to burst at the wrong time, like when you're still with the patient. I'm sure that the patients would appreciate it as well. it's better to have someone who really knows what you feel and can really sympathise with you than someone who just nods and writes stuff down and then puts you on some kind of perscription meds. :| Personal is better, but not TOO personal.

oh no! are you ok zephi? :lol:

glad your visit went well kimby!

Yeah, I definitely felt like I should ahve been on jackass or something. I don't know why I thought that me on bike vs. bush would have me winning. The bush totally kicked my butt. And to make it worse, it was right by a traffic circle. I stopped traffic as some guy rolled down his window and was like, "......are you ok?" I just gave the thumbs u from hunched over and tried not to make eye contact. I mean it was funny, but embarassing as hell :XD

oh no zephi! how embarassing!! :oops: i would have been ballin my eyes out! i've fell into bush before, it sucks!

@zephi you shouldn't post to mene while riding ur bike! Just kidding sorry!

Now that I can talk about it... the thing that set me off and stayed with me on Saturday was one girl who just had this sad look like I don't belong here, get me outa here pleeeeaaase??? She didn't seem violent or anything but there she was in restraints and I am trying to figure out what to say to this sad, crying girl. Because she's ME - that was me for sure, confused, out of control emotions, just can't make anyone just UNDERSTAND ME!! That was me for sure, yes I will say it again me for SURE. It felt shallow to say to her yes I do understand, because I know from her perspective, she will not believe me. And I know what she will have to go through before she believes, and that she has to go through it all by herself. Just like me - I wanted somebody to fix me, cure me, pull me out of the fire. But I had to crawl through it slowly and painfully... naked in restraints. Ok I'll stop now:P

I'm ok really!!

Ahaha.. i wish that I could be that talented, but then again, of course I would probably fall off and flip off more often. I'd like to avoid that. Especially by busy streets. XD

So, you saw yourself in this girl? Or were you thinking of you when you were there. She might be the one that you can connect with the most, and help when you go back. People never take good advice until it's too late. We all have to find out the hard way. it's just a part of life, and that's the only way that people know how to learn. It's sad but true.

*sigh* i miss my hummy: and my Zephi: how come i always miss everyone? :(

and then i'm getting to where i don't what to say so i just don't reply. so that's why i haven't really be around. :sweat:

Oi, maybe we need a change of subject then? llonka are you gonna be on this weekend? I have tomorrow off cause of the Holiday. I'm so happy :D But then again I have homework due tomorrow that I haven't even started... so.. who wants to do it for me!? :D Any takers?!

we'll get back into things this weekend, llonka♥.

Hummy what are you doing this weekend? ^^

i should be around, not sure what all my parents/cousin/in-laws/hubby have planned. :lol:

i feel like i need to get a plastic backpack for the nascar race next weekend... and some sunscreen.