But he didnt sweat it. Never felt the need to be thankful for it. Like he never felt thankful that Reira was still beside him, despite the fact he had rejected her for all time.

He was used to women being all over him, he never faced rejection from the fairer sex. Perhaps, fate had given him this in exchange of his lousy childhood and home life. It wasnt in him to think about stuff like this. He just worked with what he had and saw.

That was it.

He presently thought that there was something he was forgetting. It was mid April and summer was still 2 months away in London.

-------

Nobu rushed frantically bumping his Guitar case on the wall at every corner he turned. Today, his strings were not his priority.

He panted, half cursing at how confusing the numbering of the hospital wards were.

After several minutes, he took a breather taking in all sides of his present location. Nothing pointed at the right direction or offered any clue as to where he should go. He should have guessed when he heard the ward number -707. It was the Devil's curse! Was he even on the right level of the building?

"Nobu-saaaan", he turned around when he heard a shrill voice. It was Misato or to be precise, Mai.

He let out a huge sigh of relief. He was saved!

Mai mildly rebuked him, " Nobu-san, where were you? We were all waiting!"

"Waiting? What about Nana? And Yasu and Shin? And Miu?"

Misato pulled his arm and led the way, " Yasu is waiting and calming Nana down. Shin is tensed also but Hachi is .."

Nobu stopped, stricken, " Nana? What about her? Is she alright?"

Misato pulled him into movement yet again, saying, "No, she is okay, just that...she is a bit distressed that the baby's coming two weeks early and Taku-" , she stopped and took a quick glance at Nobu.

She was in time to notice the passing spasm on Nobu's features but he quickly replaced with a somewhat unconvincing smile. Even, he knew, a woman would naturally ask for her husband at this stage.

He look forward and said , "Let's hurry."

-----

Honjo Nana was pacing while Yasu with a calm voice was trying to pacify her.

"That IDIOT!", Nana roared, " She's suffering for HIS mistake and he isnt even here for her."

Hachi was inside the ward waiting for her cue to enter the OT in a few minutes. Apparently, she was quite sensitive to pain so with as much energy that she had, she was also breathing in and out rhythmically to stall the baby a bit, gritting her teeth, she was asking for Takumi. The doctor had told off Nana H who seemed as tensed as Hachi, so for now Shin was holding Hachi's hand while she sort of spoke between breaths. Miu had an accursed job it seemed.

This is the scene that met Nobu's and Misato's eyes, when they reached ward 707

Ren peeped into Reira's room as soon as she opened the door.

Reira looked at Ren, puzzled.

" What are you looking for?"

Ren looked at her distractedly and then around again. As if hoping a second glance might reveal something, "Do you know where the leader is?"

Reira widened her eyes, why would he be here? He never isin her room this late at night.

" Ren?"

"I tried to call him, but apparently his cell phone is out of range. "

Reira replied, " He might be with Stella."

Ren gave her an inscrutable look and came inside to sit on the hotel room couch.

Lighting a cigarette, he couldn�t hide the fact he was bit... worried.

Reira was intrigued as she followed him to sit beside, " What happened now? I didn�t do anything and didn�t step out of line."

Ren smiled wanly, " Silly, I would tell you first if it was about you. This is about Hachi."

Reira bucked up, " Hachi? Oh! Does she know that Takumi isn�t being a good boy?"

Ren let out a puff, " I dunno but he's gotta know, she's giving birth right now."

Reira opened her mouth in surprise, " Ah? Ah! Ahh!"

" She wasnt due today", Ren explained, " so he might not have expected that she will deliver today."

"That Takumi! What do we do??? Have you texted him?"

Ren replied after a moment of thought, "I have. But its upto him to check it. I don�t think he has realized that his mobile is out of network. I will try again...", he took out his mobile and redialed Takumi's number.

--------

"Nana! Nana!"

Hachi felt a very familiar voice call her, but she was shutting her eyes in pain. Her bottom seemed that it would burst any moment and she could feel movement in her pelvic region. She could hear the pain like thousands of voices screaming in her ears.

"Nana! Nana!"

How long had it been since she had been called by that name...that voice...she felt too muddled to recall whose voice it was...but she felt a bittersweet feeling sweeping her body, somehow, the texture of this voice seemed the perfect kind to calm her down.

She felt someone wiping her forehead, as she was sweating profusely. She gradually opened her eyes.

Her vision cleared to show Nobu's face...bending on her, worry was written all over his face. his eyes, oh how she had loved his earnest look,...the pureness of his persona... she was in pain...and his blond head was hallowed by the overtly lights on top. She hadn�t realized she was being wheeled in the OT.

� I am sorry�, a nurse spoke in haste, � But we cant allow you in unless you are her spouse.�

Nana who was looking at Hachi struggling with a stricken face suddenly awoke to these words, � That ..�, she pushed Nobu through the OT doors,� is her husband!�

There was a momentary silence among the BLAST band members while the staff took her word for it and Nobu reverted from his shock at Nana�s words first and followed Hachi in.

I wonder through fiction to look for the truth
Buried beneath all the lies
And I stood at a distance
To feel who you are
Hiding myself in your eyes

And hold on before it's too late
Until we leave this behind
Don't fall, just be who you are
It's all that we need in our lives

- Goo Goo Dolls


�Push!! PUSH!!!�, the female doctor urged Hachi.

Hachi went with the call, sweating, heaving and panting and pushing.

Nobu was encouraging loudly to make himself heard above her screams of effort, He tried to hide his anxiety. Besides her screams, he couldn�t help feeling, she looked a bit too haggard, a bit too thin than she had ever been, her arms, her wrist was so thin, he felt her fragility while grasping her hand. Her veins were popping from her strenuous exercise. Her skin seemed a bit paler despite her sweating.

He felt a mixture of feelings running through him, because�.also with his tension�somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew. His being here was his privilege. Being here by her side. This was all he could do for now. For her. For the child. For the child which could have been �.. Or could be his�

----------

Takumi woke with a start when a sudden gust of cool wind blew over the verandah. He didn�t realize when had he fallen asleep on the chair. He felt the chill in his bones.

�Damn this weather!�, he couldn�t get used to the unnatural coldness of this place no matter how many times he visited. (A/N: He should have worn a jacket or something.)

He did not feel like going inside. He knew he could easily and smoothly brush off the female and return to the hotel. But, the sudden awakening brought him up with a lousy mood. He was reluctant to face anyone�.except�

He got up and put his hands in his bathrobe pockets. He slid the glass door noiselessly, trying to discern in the dark whether indeed Clarissa�s eyes were open. Or was her name Meg?

He didn�t remember.

He dressed up and checked his coat pocket for his cell phone. It was highly unlikely that he would receive any calls. He specifically told his manager not to call before morning, come what may, just for tonight.

He had received an email from Hachi the night before. He wasn�t much bothered by the fact he didn�t received any that day. This was Trapnest�s last day in UK after a tiresome recording which seemed like it would never end. They were to return to Japan the next morning.

The baby was due in next two weeks. The gynecologist assured him that there would be no complications, except that she might be a little too thin.

Takumi could detect when he left 3 weeks ago that Hachi might have gotten thinner but he knew she was selfish enough to take care of herself. She would never be as tiny as Reira.

�Oro�, his battery was dead. He had indeed gotten careless, perhaps his age was getting to him. He felt a stab of disappointment that he had left the charger at the hotel. Ah well, he would be there in an hour or so. He would have to have the reception downstairs call him a cab. Maybe, he would give a quick call to Hachi from there. She might be awake all night, waiting for him to call.

He gave a small smile when he envisioned her image lying awake on the bed, by her cell phone.

---------------

The baby wailed loud enough to wake the dead. Nobu watched goggled eyed at the reddened creature which was pulled out from Hachi�s womb.

Nobu knew he was not the father but he �.he was Hachi�s baby�s father for today.

He felt like crying.

�That!!�, NANA paused between her frantic pacing when the baby�s wail reached their ears. She felt a sudden elation jolt her, and she turned to Yasu and jumped on him, with a huge smile. Yasu held her and patted Nana�s head.

Shin picked up his downcast head, seated on the waiting bench and finally smiled, as if a ray of sunshine fell on him, he murmured, � Thank you, God.�

Misato/Mai broke into tears of relief. Miu who had come in between consoled her, her face eased to release her tension. She was much too involved to think about Yasu�s indiscretion. The BLAST band was overwhelmed.

----------------

Takumi puffed his ciggy in the NO-SMOKING lounge while he called home though the receptionist kept on casting disapproving glances at him. There was no other staff that night, she had an inkling that she wont able to deal with this man by herself so she cut him a slack. It was a 2-star hotel after all.

The ringing on the other end went on. No one picked it up.

He was loosing his patience, He had rung long enough to awake her if she was indeed sleeping. Why isn�t she picking up, was she angry with him?

--------------

The monitoring machines in the OT suddenly let off a warning sign. The doctor who had given a baby to the nurse, while Nobu thinking that Hachi went off to sleep let go off her hand and approached the baby turned to the mother in alarm.

One nurse informed in a tone of emergency, �Doctor, she has stopped breathing.�

Nobu answered for the doctor, � WHAT??�

He glanced at Hachi�s face which had turned a bit blue quite suddenly. He felt the ground slip off under his feet. He wasn�t one to assume the worst, he wasn�t built that way. But she looked totally unlike herself now.

The doctor was hurriedly checking the screens, trying to evolve the situation, and deciding what to do next.

One nurse shifted Hachi�s body a bit and let out a loud gasp. The sheet was drenched in warm red blood. Its edges were growing very slowly soaking in more from where it came from.

Nobu lost control and clutched the doctor�s arm, � Sensei! Sensei! What is happening? Why? What�s wrong with Hachi?? Tell me!�

The doctor yelled at a third nurse, �Someone, take him away from here�

It took all three nurses and finally a male nurse to pull him away from the doctor and chuck him out of the OT.

Nobu grasped a few words from the doctor as he was forced out, � How could we not have seen this?�

-------------------

And the risk that might break you
Is the one that would save
A life you dont live is still lost
So stand on the edge with me
Hold back your fear and see
Nothing is real til it's gone

Hold on before its too late
Until we leave this behind
Don't fall, just be who you are
It's all that we need in our lives

Goo Goo Dolls

� What do you mean the cab will take an hour to reach here?�, Takumi was on the verge of loosing his temper. This was not his entourage and he was sensible enough not to throw a tantrum here. He didn�t want to be remembered.

He couldn�t remember when he last felt such frustration. He kept it in his mind that he would make Hachi answer for her actions when he got home.

His irksomeness wasn�t totally her fault, the practical part of his brain reasoned. She was a pregnant mother after all. She needed lots of rest. But she � . was the only place where he could find a let out.

Junko rushed in through the corridor with two bags on both arms, she was in their hometown with Kyouhei (something she had never done for almost 3 years) .Hachi�s mother and older sister was following them. They set out to Tokyo after they heard that Hachi�s water broke. She was informed by Yasu. Junko made sure that at least Yasu had her number before she left.

Junko expected to see smiling faces but she picked up a strange heavy atmosphere when she neared the vicinity of the waiting people.

She saw Nobu was sobbing uncontrollably, with Miu covering his head with her arms. Nana was sitting on the ground with a shocked expression, Misato was crying and telling her something. Yasu was furiously dialing his phone. Shin had covered his face with both his hands and leaning on the wall.

The bags dropped off her hands, only Yasu and Miu looked at her.

�w hat j ust h appened h ere?�, she enquired in astonishment. Natsuko Komatsu�s hands flew to her mouth when she saw them.

� What happened to my Nana?�

---

Takumi reached his hotel room, and noted that Reira�s light was still switched on. He would have to remind her about sleeping early to avoid puffy eyes. But he wouldn�t visit her room in the night. Not without anyone around. He didn�t trust himself on it.

He unlocked his door, turned on the lights and checked the time. Tcheh! He was gone for five hours. Such a troublesome hotel and cab driver.

He had just taken off his coat, placing his dead cellular fone on the table when he heard a knock. He gritted his teeth as he opened his door.

� Not now, Ren, I am tired, tell me your problems in the morn-�

Ren was talking to someone on his fone, � Yeah, he�s finally back. OK, I�ll hand it over.�

He gave the cell to Takumi.

Takumi asked, � Who is it?�

Ren gravely answered, � Yasu�

Takumi raised an eye-brow. Normally Ren would reply with something like Baldy or �Darling�. This was uncharacteristic.

� Yasu?�

� Leave everything and come to Japan now. �

Takumi drew his eye-brows, Yasu didn�t usually joke like this.

� Did something happen?�

Ren walked passed Takumi apparently catching sight of something. He picked up the cell fone from the table, and tried to switch it on.

� Hachi just delivered a baby girl�, Yasu replied after a pause. He couldn�t quite say what he feared.

Takumi sensed a lot from his tone and pause. He felt an unexplainable apprehension as to what Yasu didn�t say.

� How�s the baby?�

� She�s fine.�

Takumi breathed a sigh of relief and replied, � Baldy, you almost scared a year�s growth out of me. Then everything�s alright then. �

He heard a jostle on the other end, there was a struggle it seemed there.

Then he heard the voice of one self-proclaimed enemy, she sounded distraught, � Your wife is DYING! YOU MORON!!�, she was crying and screeching into the fone.

� Internal haemorrage. Her weak constitution couldn�t handle the pressure. She was immediately operated on after they discovered it. �, Miu explained to Nao and Natsuko Komatsu.

Natsuko was sobbing ,� I don�t understand, she was alright a week ago. I was supposed to come over next week and stay with her.�

Yasu came to her and patted her shoulder, � Don�t worry, your daughter is a very strong woman.� There wasn�t much conviction in his voice, Natsuko buried her face in Nao�s shoulder who was in tears too.

----------

It was after some moments, that Takumi realised he was listening to dial tone. Reira had appeared at the door in front of him, looking anxious. Takumi cancelled the call, lowered his head, and lifted it up again, after taking a breath.

� I need to go�, he said. He turned and picked up his coat, inserting his passport retrieved from a drawer. It appeared Takumi was taking it very well.

Takumi pocketed Ren�s cell fone. And walked out the door. Oblivious of Reira.

So live like you mean it
Love till you feel it
It's all that we need in our lives
So stand on the edge with me
Hold back your fear and see
Nothing is real till it's gone

Hold on before its too late
Until we leave this behind
Don't fall, just be who you are
It's all that we need in our lives

Goo Goo Dolls

Takumi was a man who dealt with everything in the accordance to his priority. He had simply explained to Hachi that he gave 90 percent of himself to work and the other 10 percent to everything else.

Work was writing songs, work was arranging gigs and appearances, work was managing staff, work was giving interviews, work was Trapnest, work was Naoki, work was Ren, work was Reira. Work was everything that connected him to Reira. He could not go beyond. That was what he had planned almost from the moment he heard that he could form a band where Reira could sing.

He didn�t need anything else. He got everything a man could need being beside her. Wasn�t that enough? Wasn�t it all that he ever wanted?

As long as she was there, he didn�t care if everything he had was lost. He could win it back.

But the thing was, if he lost everything � wealth, fame � Reira would be beyond his reach. So he had to preserve a few things to keep his hold on her life.

It took everything in him to possess and retain these, and so much , that he never could offer love. . . in the way she wanted. If he did give in, she would not be the Reira that captivated him so many years ago. The one thing that he wanted to be unblemished in the world would join the filth of the rest of the world. He could never let that happen.

In ten years, the boy had grown into a man, but he never stopped following this principle. He only kept tools that helped to maintain his bond with Reira or maintain his sanity. He would let go if none of these criterion were fulfilled. Sometimes, he would sacrifice the latter if he couldn�t help it. Hachi had been such an option.

Your wife is DYING! YOU MORON!



Takumi looked out the Boeing window, his sunglasses on his nose. He was holding his chin in his hand. He had been in the same position for 3 hours unmoving. 9 hours to go. Some passengers were pointing at him.

He was heedless of their attention. Or of the annoying brat playing music loudly on his CD player seated beside him.

Your wife is DYING! YOU MORON!

Your wife is DYING! YOU MORON!

Your wife is DYING! YOU MORON!

Your wife is DYING! YOU MORON!

He collected his thoughts. He tried to collect his thoughts. If Hachi died, he would have place Sachiko under a nanny�s care. He would let go of the home at Shirogane. He would have to announce her death and arrange a funeral and her parents would�..

Takumi felt his breath constricted and he needed some air. Damn! these aeroplanes never had a window to breath out through. He needed a smoke.

The operation was supposed to be a long one. The strain of the child birth had put her in a more delicate state than she would normally have been. They had to operate on her carefully but quickly. All in all, it would take more than a few hours.

Not much of this piece of information went through to Nana. . . or to Nobu

---

Nana, ��..let me confess. I had hated you�.. I tried to. The moment you went on saying �Sorry� and wouldn�t say anything else. I desperately tried to hate you. Is that why�...you are punishing me this way?

Let me add, I could not.

I tried and failed. I can not�

I can--never---hate you�.

No matter what you say�.

I can not hate you�

No matter what you do�.

I can not hate you�

I �..have never �.stopped loving you.. and won�t ever�

�.even if you choose someone else�

..it�s okay, as long as you are happy�.

...and there was never any need for you to apologize� whatever you do, it�s okay with me� but if that�s what you want, I will forgive you � if that�s how you want it�.so please�please�. Don�t let go�.dont go beyond my reach�where I can never see you smile even from a distance...Nana�.. at least let me know you are somewhere breathing and alive�..that will be enough for me�.. I wont want anything else from you� I wont show you my face again�.Just be alive�.stay alive�.don�t disappear�please don�t�. stop existing�.

---------

�Hey! Hey!�, Takumi called to the passenger who just left his side. He left the CD case behind. Takumi gave up. That boy might just return for it. Even though the case looked as if it were broken.

He plopped it on the empty seat beside him. The booklet came off. He side glanced at it. It was not in Japanese. Apparently, English.

He distractedly picked up the booklet and flipped through the pages. An international pop artist. Pages and pages of lyrics. Presently, the name of one song caught his eye. He ran his eyes on the lines.

Send someone to love me
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe from harm
In pouring rain

Give me endless summer
Lord I fear the cold
Feel Im getting old
Before my time

As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doing all I can
To be a better man

Go easy on my conscience
cause its not my fault
I know Ive been taught
To take the blame

Rest assured my angels
Will catch my tears
Walk me out of here
I'm in pain

Robbie Williams

Takumi gave a wry smile. These words rang a bell.

How odd, he thought, reading the words of a different artiste and being in the business himself, he never thought about the soothing power of music or its words that he was so talented to pen down, with such a clarity as at that moment.

I have written so much music about other people that I had forgotten how to write about myself. Someone else�s lyrics had to make me realize that.

It is meaningless now. Now, that I feel so empty. . . I have no more words to describe what I feel now

Hold on before its too late
Until we leave this behind
Don't fall, just be who you are
It's all that we need in our lives

It's all that we need in our lives
It's all that I need in my life

Goo Goo Dolls

After 8 hours of painstaking waiting, the light bulb on the top of the door finally switched off.

Nana who had resisted the urge of (and been restrained from) banging the OT door, approached anticipatorily at the first person who stepped out of the theatre.

The doctor took off his protection mask from his face and shook his head. Nana started to feel the world close around her.

----------

Takumi stepped out of Narita airport at 4 am in the morning. The sun rays were cracking the night sky. But the heat was unrelenting. The night had offered no solace from the high temperature of the climate. The humidity made the air as stagnantly hot and thick to the point of making it unbearable. This with jet lag made him almost sway with exhaustion. But he was unmindful of that. He hadn�t even brought his bags. He pulled out the cell from his pocket and searched for Yasu�s number. He then realized after a momentary confusion that this was not his. It was lucky that Ren hadn�t password locked it.

� Yasu?�

�Takumi? �, Yasu was momentarily misled by the name that popped up on the screen when Takumi called up.

� How�s she?�

�St. Luke's International Hospital, 503�, Yasu shut his phone.

Takumi looked at the device in his hand incredulously, � That f#$& a&$�# hung up on me!!!�, he bellowed to the consternation of the people around.

Honjo Nana was resting on a hospital bed of the ground level. Yasu and Mai were beside her.

The baby was in the room which had protective environment for premature babies, at the time, off bounds for everyone but hospital staff.

All the others were outside the ICU, and were ushered away by the nurse. The doctor had advised them to let the patient rest. Thus, they were in the waiting room. Visiting hours were over. Only Nobu was allowed to stay with the patient , outside the ICU room, watching Hachi from beyond a glass window, as a �spouse�.

----------------

Takumi looked up the directions on the information board by the entrance of the hospital, and went straight in without consulting the reception desk.

He heard someone call behind him, saying, � Sorry, sir, but visiting hours are over�.

------

Nana, what will I do if you are no more? �. Is it too late to say that I am sorry I wasn�t there for you that night? ���. Is it too late to say that I will take your daughter to be mine, if you come through alive?... Is it too late to say �.please come back! I promise I wont disappoint you this time.

-----

�Nobu!�, Takumi�s deep voice rang through the corridor.

Nobu was touching the glass staring at the unconscious woman laid on the bed.

He turned at the perpetrator, and didn�t recognize him. It took him sometime to realize that this was Takumi. Partly because of his own daze and confusion, partly because, Takumi did not look like himself at all.

His face was drawn to show lines and they seemed to have increased multifold since the last time he saw him. He did not have the luster of his playboy personality. He did not look anything like Trapnest�s leader at all. He had grown old within the span of 12 hours.

� Where-�, then Takumi turned to look at the glass barrier and beyond, and his eyes widened. He dropped his coat that was hanging on his arm.

One hospital personnel came to them with two burly male nurses, � Excuse me, other than one close family member, we do not allo-�

Nobu waved a hand at them, � This is her real husband.�

He walked away with no further explanations towards the waiting room.

-----------------

Who is this woman?...how tiny she is...what are these huge tubes covering her?... why is the count on that machine reducing?...

Takumi pressed both of his palms on the glass with an incredulous look on his face. It was happening all over again.

Why does this scene look so familiar?...why does this scene keep recurring in my life?

Takumi felt he could press the glass and break it. Everything in that room looked so fragile as if the pressure of the normal world could shatter them.

It was abnormal. It was another world. A different world. One beyond his reach.

-------------

�The doctor said she is in critical condition and comatose but he didn�t say she wont be better.�, Nao Komatsu assured her mother who was looking down covering her mouth with red, puffy eyes. Miu spotted Nobu coming in.

�Nobu? Why-?�

Nobu sat down without looking up. He was very tired and so were the others.

�Takumi is here.�

Hachi�s mother looked at him at these words. She looked a bit more stricken.

Nobu closed his eyes, � It should be fine...for now.�

----

You know, Nana, the first time I went back to your place. I was mighty pissed with Nobu. I went for the heck of it. I thought that overzealous brat should be taught a proper lesson. I would steal his woman. That was how much space I had for you.

Hmmph.. I have seen women get angry at me, lashing back, ignoring me even. Women are such self-possessed creatures.

But�

You�

You didn�t complain, you didn�t call me to come that night though you were waiting.

. . . .(pause)

That night, when I said those words, I wont give you to any one, I meant it...

...Maybe if I hadn�t come back that night, your story might have been different� you would have been that immature shortie�s woman...

...that boy...that you love so much�with stars in his eyes�such a childish love�how far could you both have gone before you ... or even he realized ... it is impossible for you two to live together...

Nana, you live by the moment, you incline towards anyone kind to you...it wouldn�t take you long to wander away from a guy who only has dreams to offer you... this materialistic side of yours...yearning for so many things...without working for it...

...Did you see me as a path to that, woman?... or in those few days, did you mature enough to see beyond it all... was it only for the baby...

...our story was possible?...

...maybe...so...

...after all, �.

..I didn�t have you in my plans �.

..Yet, somehow, �. I have been drawn to you�.perhaps, it�s because I found you the easiest to read�.nonetheless, I never understood why you never called me ...why did you need me to come to you...why you never came to me...you still don�t ...you worry about everyone in the damn kingdom...you wag your tail to anyone... you should worry only about me!

...you still don�t trust me...your husband... I am still the last to know ...when we �broke up�...at Reira�s party...and now, this...I have always brought you back...but...this time...how...do I bring you back?

The scorching sun of the late morning had disappeared behind the long traveled clouds which finally reached destination. A thunder-storm was brewing, it seemed as the sky lost its golden colour and turned to a bright white then gloomy grey. Distant rumbling reverberated and mirrored the glum mood of kith and kin of the room 503 patient.

Takumi�s mind was as silent as he was. He was trying hard to come in terms of the situation. No matter, how much he had rehearsed, assessed the situation, he gradually felt the overwhelming helplessness of his childhood returning to him. It angered him to the point of thrashing at the glass, but he wasn�t a middle school delinquent anymore.

----

At the waiting room, no one could be convinced to leave. Many of them had the mental solace from the fact that Nana H was resting in subconscious relief of the situation.

� Why did you leave her side?�, Miu asked Nobu quietly out of earshot of Hachi�s family now being cajoled by Junko to get some rest and sleep. � Didn�t the doctor said, that these few hours are the most crucial for her to revive?�

� Takumi..�, Nobu said in a distant manner.

Miu looked at him quizzically.

�Takumi didn�t even ask about the child.�

---

Hey Nana,�

�.Why is it that what I want and what I need are not the same ?...

�..why is it that I can�t show my true self in front of whom I love and show my real self to one I don�t?...

��.. and why is it that I am always torn in between Nobu and Takumi?...

�.. I know that now�..

�.they both are the extremes of your personality�.

..you have Takumi�s practical side, but like Nobu, you are true to yourself�.

�. I understand many things now�I know more about me now�

.. I know �.that I will never be afraid of showing my real nature to Takumi�

� and I know�� he will never be in love with me�.and I will never be in love with him�.but we will be the ideal companions as long as he is affectionate towards me�.as long as it will last�

�because�

�.we both�..can�t show our true selves to the one we love�

�and..

�.. I will always love Nobu, no matter what�. But Nobu can�t see this shallow part in me�.and I can�t show you this part of me either�and I will always be wondering � how many shocks both of you could stand about me before�before you�.and Nobu �start hating me for who I am� and�. how much forgiveness do I have to ask before all the hurt I caused you both is undone�

�. But after all is said and done�. I know�that more than Nobu and Takumi�.

� I would still want to come back to you�

-----

�I am sorry, sir. Please don�t light your cigarette here.�, a brave matron piped in. � The smoking section is beyond the outer compound.�

Takumi distractedly apologized and pocketed the unlit cigarette in his breast pocket, not noticing he had crushed it down while pushing it in.

The corridor was strangely dark as the cloud cast sky blocked the afternoon rays. It was difficult to believe that it was only just past noon. The building lights would automatically switch on only if it became a tad more darker outside.

There was a sudden wind that pressed on the window panes and blew through all nooks and crannies it could find to herald the beginning of a storm due to depression. It seemed the temperature outside and now inside, was gradually coming down by quite a number of degrees. The warmth of the concrete building itself could not suppress it.

Takumi had had half a mind to cast off his jacket but now, instinctively drew the collars around his neck. The sound of the wind, the cooling effect of the sudden weather gave him an ominous foreboding feeling.

This feeling , that he had tasted so many years ago, was creating a small whirlwind in him and before he realized it, it gained momentum within him.

Fear.

Insecurity.

The chitter-chatter of the people around did not permeate the silence he could hear. This deafening silence.

----

Nobu sat with his hands clasped between his widely apart legs, supporting himself on his elbows, resting on his thighs, looking down.

He felt Miu gently nudging him and looked up. She pointed at someone close by the exit of the waiting room.

A very thin and wrinkled man was beckoning him with a hand gesture.

Nobu was a bit spaced out to react in a normal way. He got up mechanically and headed towards the old man.

When he reached him, the old man pulled him aside to a fire exit, and asked him in whispering tone, whether he had a cigarette.

Normally, Nobu would be indignant and call him a few names. How trivial!

But now, he just shook his head, and was about to head back, when the old man said, he had extra and pulled him out of the fire exit onto the fire escape stairway.

A gust of wind made Nobu shiver and he folded his arms around him. The confusing weather outside starkly contrasting the humdrum inside somehow, made him feel less claustrophobic. It still hadn�t begun to pour.

The old man offered him a ciggy which after an initial denial, he accepted. After they both lit their cigarettes with some struggle, the old man drew a large puff and then let out the residual smoke with a sort of satisfactory air.

Nobu looked at him quizzically.

What an odd man.

---------------

Nana H woke up with a jerk. Thoughts were whizzing through her mind comparing reality and whatever she just dreamt up. It took some minutes before she came to realize what was actually happening. As a familiar bald head bent on her, after a long time, she saw his eyes again.

Strange, he looked so vulnerable and uncool without them. No wonder he always wore them so. She almost laughed at her realization.

She noticed the concerned expression he wore.

Dear Yasu, the only man on earth in front of whom she could be as childish as she wanted. She came to understand a bit about what Hachi went through and the choice she made. She, like Hachi had two men who liked her. One who understood her, the strong one and one she loved, the weak one. She chose her love and Hachi chose the one who understood her.

But�.. Takumi was nothing like Yasu.

Which is maybe why Hachi would still have a hard time with him.

�I am alright�, she assured Yasu before she heard a wail from another person there, Mai. She always found it easy to derive an unknown strength when she saw the weakness of others. As if nature would bestow her with a balancing composure in situations like these.

� Hachi will be back.�

-----

Then come on, shatter my illusion because I don't know what I can do to stop loving you .

Nobu almost choked on the smoke at these words.

� I b-beg your pardon?�, he stuttered.

The man had begun speaking about his girlfriend and some things he had done a long time ago in his younger days. Nobu was too polite to refuse the old man�s reminiscent storytelling. Instead, his mind begun to wander about.

This sentence brought him back. But he was unsure whether it was him or the man who actually spoke the words.

The old man repeated, � I said, I cant forget you, as I don�t know how to stop loving you, I told Miako.�

�Miako?�, Nobu thought, � Who the heck is Miako?�

The old man drew another puff, and blew it out with a nostalgic air, staring at the troubled sky,� Ah! That line really took her heart, she told me. So many years ago, that was the last time, I smoked these damn cigarettes��.�

� So why are you smoking now??�, Nobu asked him in his mind. He didn�t want to be rude.

Then after a moment�s of uncomfortable silence, the old man quietly said, ��.that was also the last time I saw Miako.�

� So Miako was his girlfriend�.�, Nobu thought.

Then it occurred to him, why after all this time was the man suddenly smoking again, had he met her here??

� �d-did you meet her here again..today?�, Nobu asked cautiously.

The man suddenly gave him a pained look. He understood the underlying question that why had he caught upon this filthy habit today suddenly of all times.

� You see,�� the old man crushed the cigarette butt on the safety bar, as he led Nobu through the fire exit door back into the building again, ��.my wife died today.�

Shirasaki Misa is a cute girl; just that she is a fat girl. She attempted many diets and exercises to lose weight; however she kept on gaining weight as she drinks a lot of water after her diets, causing water gain in her body.

She was in love with the rocker from her class, Amane Takumi. He was disgusted by her fat look, thus rejected her confession by showing that he was dating the popular, beautiful and slim girl in her class, Matsumoto Jun. She locked herself in her bedroom for 4 days, eating lesser and lesser by the days. One day, a mysterious young lad went to her home to check on her, and even recommended her to go to a special diet spa centre.

As the young lad was very handsome, she agreed very steadily. She packed her belongings into 2 large suitcases and followed him to the spa centre. In the meantime, there was a young man called Okasaki Shinichi, also known as Shin, was the heir to the spa centre, was working there as an intern to prepare himself for the inheriting the family business, his mentor was Maki Yoh.

In the spa centre, Misa sees a few girls, sharing the same problem as her. And their mission is to lose weight here, with the assistance of the interns working in the spa centre. When the group of interns saw the girls, they were so disgusted but they had to work with them. Shin was only intern with patience towards the clients. Shin was working on Misa by massaging her body with the therapeutic mud lotion and doing the heat therapy. It was a very comfortable process, however this process will make the person feel thirsty, but they cannot consume water for 2 hours, so they have to take in a certain beverage to quench their thirst during the two hours period.